How to love yourself?

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

"You are perfection itself, you are perfection itself, from smile to gesture - beyond praise!" - fairytale characters sang the talents of Mary Poppins. And she, instead of showing the restraint characteristic of the British and the modesty inherent in a woman, was not at all embarrassed in response: "Oh, what bliss! Ah, what bliss - to know that I am perfection, to know that I am an ideal!" Surprisingly, none of the viewers of the movie "Mary Poppins, Goodbye!" it never occurred to condemn the main character and accuse her of being overconfident. However, if the fabulous Mary Poppins turned out to be the real Masha Popova from the next department or from the apartment opposite, she would immediately find a lot of ill-wishers ready to turn Miss Perfect into Miss Zadavaka.

First of all, let's clarify: there is pride, numbered among mortal sins, there is arrogance, there is arrogance, there is arrogance, there is snobbery - and there is self-love, there is self-respect, there is adequate self-esteem. These are the same different concepts as narcissism and self-love. In the first case, self-love borders on contempt for other people, in the second - it harmoniously gets along with respect for them. There is modesty, which often arises from an underestimation of one's person and one's abilities, and there is dignity - the result of a correct assessment. Modesty in response to a compliment will answer: "Oh, what are you! And it is not at all, you flatter me", dignity will say: "Thank you, I know." I think to explain which of them is more loves himself and respects, not worth it.

We are taught from childhood that modesty adorns a person. But is it so bad to love yourself and be confident in your abilities? And if self-esteem is a vice, then why do humble people suffer from excessive modesty, while proud people enjoy life? Why don't you find a single book "How to Become Humble" in the Department of Practical Psychology, but you will come across dozens with advice "How to gain self-confidence", "How to stop worrying and start living", etc.?

Is it always right to condemn a person for being overconfident and put him in his place? Or, instead of trying on the mantle of a judge, should you take a closer look at him, take an example from him, learn from him and try to adopt his attitude to life and to yourself?

If you are ready to join the camp of the enemies of Masha-Mary, it means that the problems are not with her, but with you. So you are not living the life you would like to live. This means that life for you has become a series of stereotyped beliefs, ideals, habits and fears. This means that you are the owner of a wide variety of complexes, but you do not have the main benefit - self-confidence. Negativity towards confident and successful people is nothing more than envy. And you need to get rid of it urgently - by changing your thinking and behavior, getting rid of stereotypes, destroying the usual circle of actions, overcoming self-doubt.

There is one great psychological training for self-esteem. You need to write down 10 of your shortcomings on paper, and then try to select from the list those of them that are imposed on you by your environment. As a result, it turns out that your mother, who does not know how to enjoy life, accused you of carelessness, an authoritarian father for indecision, a mother-in-law who grew up in a village, etc. And you yourself can easily and comfortably live with these qualities, you yourself do not consider them shortcomings …So put the feeling of guilt and the consciousness of your own imperfection out of your head and live for your pleasure, as your proud girlfriends do. Necessary love yourself!

If you prefer Mary's position, it's time to look for signs of pride in your behavior:

- You do not disregard a single mirror or shop window on your way. And you like what you see in their reflection.

- You are sure that beauty salons and fitness clubs exist in order to keep yourself in good physical shape, and do not forget to visit them.

- In your daily schedule, there is always time to take a bath with scented foam, do neat makeup, carefully style your hair.

- Creams, lotions, tonics and other skin and hair care products never run out in your home.

- When buying a really expensive thing, you are not tormented by the pangs of conscience, you are not tormented by doubts. You think you deserve it.

- You do not save on underwear on the principle "no one will see it except me", but you choose what is beautiful and convenient for you.

- You always dress so that you are not ashamed of any detail of your outfit in case you had to play a game of strip.

- You do not save on your health. You visit the dentist regularly. You don't buy cheap fast food. You don't skimp on buying fresh fruits and vegetables for yourself.

- You consider yourself beautiful, smart, stylish, and so on. And you are not afraid to admit it to others.

- You like to show your photos. But only the successful ones. From those where you turned out badly, you get rid of immediately.

- You will not be killed by failures, but you will always celebrate your victories with a glass of champagne.

- You will not do what you don’t want, so you easily say “no” in response to uncomfortable requests for you.

- You know how to accept compliments, you do it with dignity and without fanaticism. At the same time, you are not annoyed or upset by compliments that are not addressed to you. You take praise from others as calmly as you take praise to yourself.

- Performing in front of an audience is not a disaster for you, but an opportunity to prove yourself.

- You know your advantages and disadvantages well, develop the first and work on the second, not allowing them to cause your complexes.

“You think you were born to enjoy, not to suffer.

If this behavior is a novelty for you, the last sign should become your main motto and a starting point for changing your outlook on life. Necessary love yourself - and thousands will love you. Just look, do not overdo it, because from vanity to narcissism is one step.