One for the New Year: why is it scary to be alone with yourself

2023 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-24 12:31

If not all, then almost all believe in the popular omen “As you celebrate the New Year, so you will spend it”. They are in a hurry before the holiday to distribute debts, make peace with loved ones and, most importantly, find a company for New Year's Eve. Have you ever wondered why you attach such importance to the last day of December? Maybe you shouldn't worry if you have to meet this New Year alone with yourself?

Statistics say that 3% of the population of our country annually celebrate the holiday alone. And this, for a moment, is more than 4 million people. And each has its own reasons. Someone is far from relatives and friends, others have just put an end to the relationship, others simply do not want to see anyone (and this happens).

Photo: 123RF / Uliya Stankevych

Of all the "loners" only the last is lucky. Solo New Year is their conscious choice. But what to do if this situation seems to you a terrible injustice? To begin with, figure out why loneliness scares you so much on the night of 31st to 1st.

New Year is a family holiday

In general, everything again comes from childhood. From an early age, New Year's Eve is associated with noisy gatherings at a "high-calorie" table. Aunts, uncles, grandmothers, grandfathers, second cousins, cousins - whoever was not brought to the family holiday. Everyone eats, drinks, laughs, swears, watches the New Year's concert. It is very difficult to "eradicate" a stereotype that has been established since childhood. Meanwhile, New Year's Eve is, in fact, the same night as everyone else. So why in any other you can be left alone, but in this one you absolutely do not want?

Solution

Just imagine: you can afford not to rush around the apartment trying to clean up and cook 10 dishes at the same time. You will not have to courting guests, changing dishes, listening to conversations about politics and the crisis, calming down a drunk girlfriend. You will be completely on your own. Dress or pajamas, champagne or kefir, a few favorite dishes or a bowl of tangerines - it's up to you to decide what your New Year will be like.

Photo: 123RF / miramiska

Difficult self-talk

New Year's Eve is the time for summing up the results. And if a noisy company will not allow you to be alone with your thoughts, then loneliness is the best reason to engage in introspection.

Sveta, 24 years old: “Last New Year I was left alone. Alien city, no friends yet, no boyfriend, parents are far away. Honestly, I don’t want such a “holiday” anymore. My penchant for self-digging and a difficult life situation made themselves felt - all night long I roared in front of the TV. I felt sorry for myself, I remembered all my mistakes, all the grievances and difficulties of the past year. Of course, on the one hand, even not bad - I gave my emotions a way out. But I will still spend this holiday in the company of new friends."

Solution

It doesn't matter how difficult this year has been for you. It doesn't matter how many mistakes you make. On the night of 31st to 1st, try not to feel sorry for yourself. Instead, think about ways to improve your life. Write down the main goals and ways to achieve them on a piece of paper. Just without general phrases, think through everything in detail.

Do you want to lose weight? Plan the purchase of a fitness club membership. Dreaming of a trip to Mexico? Also write - when, how, with whom. Let it be a night of crazy desires and realistic plans. If you really think, then positively.

One means no one needs

Modern society is categorical: if your Instagram does not have huge bouquets of roses and a photo in an embrace with a brutal handsome man, then you are so-so. The same applies to celebrating the New Year alone: if you are alone celebrating a holiday, most likely, no one needs it.

And the worst thing is that those around us do not think so about us. We think so to ourselves

It doesn't matter for what reason you were left alone on New Year's Eve - in your head no, no, and the thought flashes that something is wrong with you. And in vain.

Solution

Understand that one night a year means nothing. Just as photos on your Instagram profile are not an indicator of success in real life (you probably saw these funny videos about the secrets of creating such photos), so the company in which you celebrate the New Year does not say how much your loved ones and friends need you …

Photo: 123RF / Kamil Macniak

First, the circumstances may vary. Secondly, the main thing is that you need yourself. Trust me, a healthy relationship with your own self is what matters. If you feel good alone with yourself, if you sincerely love yourself, then those around you will be easy and interesting with you.

How will you celebrate the New Year …

If you, like the vast majority of people in Russia, believe in this omen, then it is not surprising that the prospect of spending the New Year alone scares you so much. You think that the night from 31st to 1st determines the whole subsequent year. Not always.

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психология | 14.02.2018 что скрывается за чувством одиночества 14 февраля

елена, 30 лет: «2015 год я встретила одна в маленькой комнатушке, которую снимала в квартире с почти глухой бабушкой. накануне я мучительно разошлась с молодым человеком, денег не было, работу тоже могла потерять. от нового года я ожидала борьбы, трудностей и одиночества. но оказалось, что это было начало лучшего периода в моей жизни. я встретила мужчину, который окутал меня такой заботой… сейчас мы женаты. материальных проблем я не испытываю и работу, наконец, нашла по душе. так что приметы приметами, а я верю в силу новогодних желаний. несмотря на отчаяние, в ту ночь я именно это и загадала».

решение

не верить слепо приметам. верить в себя. и в лучшее.

если приближающуюся ночь с 31 на 1 ты планируешь провести одна, не забудь, что новый год - это все-таки праздник. твой личный праздник. разреши себе наслаждаться отдыхом, вкусно ешь, слушай любимую музыку, не зацикливайся на грустных мыслях и помни - утром 1 января начнется новый день, который обязательно принесет с собой что-то хорошее.