Once again about Real Women

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Often in magazines they talk about who can be called a Real Woman, and who can be called a Real Man. I myself sometimes gladly read a few sarcastic and ironic definitions, and sometimes I flip through a boring trick like: …

Imagine a picture: summer, heat. You wanted something salty. I don’t know who has what reasons, but I am drawn to salty constantly and for no reason. So, you are preparing a herring under a fur coat. I cleaned the fatty Norwegian fish thoroughly. The insides, as usual, were thrown into the bucket, and there were also cleaning of vegetables. Stench in the kitchen: horror!

And now, instead of quickly taking out this stinking mess to hell, you, carelessly purring, go to the closet, scrolling along the way which of your best toilets is worn at the moment.

You open the doors, carefully examine the contents, thoughtfully fingering the plastic hangers. Twenty minutes later, you stop at a little black dress that fits you absolutely amazingly!

You remember one more postulate from the article about the Real Woman: and you hurriedly start sorting through the contents of the underwear drawer. Busts and panties fly in all directions, thrown by you with indignation and an angry snort:"

There is little to do: find whole stockings. At the same time, please note NOT ONE WHOLE STOCK, but a PAIR!

You sadly figure out who to call so that they bring you brand new stockings from the nearest store, because you yourself can't just walk to the kiosk at the bus stop, you can't take a bucket !!!..

You frantically rummage through your notebook, wondering who is at home now ?! You poke with dummy (this is after the herring and beetroot!

Angrily, you throw away the telephone receiver, which only knows to spit with long beeps, and you send to hell all those to whom you have just unsuccessfully tried to call.

Okay, so be it - the problem with stockings is solvable: you fished out a new pair from your younger sister, deciding that she had nothing to flirt with, will interrupt. And she made the latter abandon the preparation for the entrance exams and the Rex rushed to her older sister for help with stockings in her teeth.

Here you should send her for a walk along with the ill-fated bucket !!! But no! You are all in anticipation of a romantic meeting, do not give it to her sister …

… Joyful and happy, dressed "from the chest of drawers", you are looking in the mirror, spinning like a snowflake girl on a Christmas tree and suddenly …

WELL, OF COURSE!!

As pale as a wall, gray as a mouse! And who will make up for you, dear?

Immediately you remember the example of Coco Chanel given in the above article, whom no one has ever seen with bare knees and without lipstick and rush to the mirror in order to retouch your face in accordance with the solemnity of the moment: the evening is approaching, after all! The contents of the cosmetic bag are dumped onto the washing machine and from this shiny, plastic-wooden, lipstick-powdered mountain, objects necessary for the normal life of any woman are feverishly removed: face tone, powder compact, blush, ink, pencil.

All books on cosmetology and make-up estimate the time to apply a full make-up at 40-45 minutes. Well, you are worthy of praise - you met 38! Admiring the flawlessly matte skin, delicate blush, curving of eyebrows, enticing lips … Ndaaa … painting on your face is clearly better for you than some on canvas … erogenous zones. Now you are enveloped in a fragrant cloud …

VERDICT: stiletto heels, a stinking bucket in his hand, which is already difficult to approach otherwise than in a respirator …

You are finally ready for a romantic date at the dumpster!

Forward!.. You are a Real Woman!..

You are ready to conquer the Real Man, taking out the trash, contrary to the instructions of all magazines, in worn-out slippers, a torn T-shirt and training pants bubbling on your knees. An exhilarating scent after yesterday's beer or temptingly smelling with a garlic-onion mixture that is so popular in any season, the main note of which is the smell of strong tobacco. Or not! A black Mercedes enters the courtyard, a tall blond man in a black boot and a chic suit comes out of him, in one hand he has a breathtaking bouquet of roses, in the other the proverbial trash can … In a little black dress. With fashionable makeup. Smelling like a peony. And here it is, a moment of happiness: you merge in a passionate kiss!

No? Doesn't it happen with you? Amazingly, mine too!

Therefore, not being able to find in my environment a Real Woman who agreed to share information about how she prepares for "impromptu" with Real Men, I had to conduct a statistical analysis of my life. Adjusted for imperfection.

… Apparently, I was very lucky. Despite the fact that I take out the trash can in old jeans and without a lively artificial blush on my cheeks, in my life I come across a sufficient number of Real Men. Although.. maybe I have such plans that are too low compared to those who write articles in women's magazines, citing their criteria for a Real Man?… No, I don’t think so..

Indeed, I meet different men: smart and caring, talented and generous, attentive and strong. And not perfect at all. Well, just not the least bit perfect. But all are real, honestly! Despite the aggressively cunning articles in women's magazines, they are not at all trying to deceive me or take advantage of my naivety, no. They not only take, they are ready to give what they have. The clever offer their mind, the strong offer strength, the rich share wealth, the gentle wrap up with tenderness. And I think each of them has the right to be called a Real Man, although not tailored according to the standard template: A Special Man for a Special Woman …