First pregnancy: 5 fears to forget about

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

He is not even a month old yet and for doctors he is not yet a "who", but a "what", but you already have his first photo. Small dark point. Well, looks like you? You can stick it on the album and mark the event. Oh, yes - you can't. And put the chocolate in - the child will have an allergy. Do not sit cross-legged, do not be in a stuffy room, and in general, what did you eat yesterday? From that moment on, the Great Era of Trouble began for you.

Later, you will forget these experiences and define the time of pregnancy as the most harmonious period of your life. But now, when you need peace more than ever, you often experience the most real stress. Of course, there are countless reasons for concern for expectant mothers. One "restless" one, for example, asked the doctor this question: "I sometimes smoke marijuana, tell me, how can this affect my child?" I must make a reservation that everything written below applies only to diligent mothers who have long shoveled a lot of literature on this topic and focused their brain activity in the field of caring for future offspring. So, what are we most afraid of and how well-founded are our fears?

1. The child will be born unhealthy.

Probably, this is precisely the main sword of Damocles, which intends to poison your existence for all 9 months. And doctors and smart books are to blame. Apparently, the statistics, from the kind that a child with Down syndrome is born "only" in one out of 100 pregnant women over 35 years old, is designed to reassure the expectant mother. Only PhDs tend to forget that women's logic ignores numbers. And they do everything so that terms such as "Tay-Sachs disease" or "hydrocephalus" follow you on your heels.

You can fight the abundance of information that has overwhelmed you only with the help of common sense and understanding. Don't be like that Englishwoman from the anecdote who refused to give birth to her fourth child after learning that every fourth newborn on Earth is Chinese.

And if your doctor listens for half an hour to the beating of a small heart, this simply indicates that he is doing his job well. Although here it is necessary to remember about the other side: often the "patient" is persistently treated for a non-existent infection with a certain purpose. Therefore, you have a reason to avoid unfamiliar paid doctors.

2. What to do with it?

All your previous life was spent under the motto "I am so young and so careless." Surely you perfectly know how to do many different useful things, for example, dance Chacha-cha, lower your husband's salary for the evening, or bring your boss to nervous convulsions. But if you did not work as a midwife in a hospital, then, most likely, the nuances of a newborn's life are unknown to you. Oddly enough, most newly minted mothers manage not to drown their treasure in the bathtub and swaddle it upside down. Apparently, the instinct of motherhood is involved in this. In any case, even if you are sure that you can cope with the baby on your own, stock up on the home phone number of a doctor friend or an experienced friend, preferably with a medical education, in advance. Warn me that you will call at any time of the day. Understanding is guaranteed to you.

3. Fear of childbirth.

Yes, the closer the cherished term, which you have been waiting for with impatience, approaches, the more clearly you understand: "I am not a coward, but I am afraid." And what? It's even a shame to admit - a few hours that will give life to your baby. Relax! This fear is the most inappropriate of all. Firstly, during childbirth, the level of endorphins - hormones of "joy" rises in a woman's blood (approximately the same thing happens at the time of sexual intercourse). Thus, what seems to you excruciatingly painful, you may simply not notice, being carried away by "pushing" the child out of yourself. In addition, for difficult or protracted childbirth, doctors allow the use of local anesthesia, which is practically harmless to the baby. If you are impressed by the stories of your friends about the suffering endured, make allowance for the woman's habit of exaggerating.

One way or another, believe me, from the moment you first see the face of a creature that was recently one with you, you will never remember the inconveniences that you had to endure for this.

4. Lose the old attractiveness.

And this is not selfishness. It's no surprise that you want to be a beautiful mom. For some women, the fear of losing their figure is the only thing that prevents them from having offspring. And, unfortunately, after the birth of their first child, many are really "blown away". Perceiving this as a kind of retribution for motherhood, they calm down, and then they are "carried" more …

There is no point in being afraid of this, but you need to fight.

Our wise ancestors believed that childbirth adorns the female figure, depriving her of girlish angularity. And indeed it is. You just have to understand that with the birth of a child, your body will begin to work in a different way, and the beauty that you previously used free of charge will have to earn.

The fact that the process of accumulation of body fat is completely reversible and does not deserve an excuse, you will understand on the example of living legends of the modeling business Stephanie Seymour and Yasmine Le Bon: they both have three children and, having exchanged their fourth dozen, do not cease to spoil the blood of the well-deserved and childless divas of the catwalk …

5. The husband will not be ready for fatherhood.

This is how nature ordered that, having made a certain contribution to the birth of a new life, a man remains an indifferent observer of all subsequent processes. Maybe, deep down, he would like to meaningfully stroke your tummy or stand with you in the morning, bending over the toilet, but, accepting the fate prepared for him, he will stoically endure your whims and obediently play such an unusual role for him as a supporting actor for that to hide the main thing. And the main thing is that he himself is damn scared of everything that happens.

While you pretend him with a diaper in hand, he is almost paranoid. He is afraid of this strange fragile creature, of his incompetence, afraid of being a stranger. He is terribly afraid for you, afraid of the new title of head of the family.

In general, his fears are not similar to yours, but they are no less serious, and the list is no less. Therefore, do not be surprised if, during your childbirth, he, obeying an ancient instinct, will jam vodka in front of the maternity hospital, and spend the first two weeks of your child's life huddled in a corner and with square eyes watching the behavior of "sausages with handles." The distance between the father and the offspring, if any, will certainly be reduced as soon as the latter begins to resemble a human at least a little.

Of course, this is not all. We are also afraid that there will be no sex "as before", that the child will be confused in the hospital, but you never know what we are afraid of!

In fact, we inherited many fears from our grandmothers, and these days they are simply irrelevant. For example, in order to exclude any defects in the development of a child, today it is enough to pass a special test of amniotic fluid, and the operational advice of experienced mothers from the Internet will help to cope with ignorance. In general, drink vitamins, walk in the fresh air and take care of your nerves - they will still be useful to you!