Table of contents:
- Be arrogant
- Talk to strangers
- Take an acting or public speaking course
- Insist on your
- Other people are no different from you
- Try to look your best
Video: 6 ways to deal with shyness
2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00
It doesn't matter how old you are - 20, 30, 40 or 50, it doesn't matter who you are - an employee or a company leader, you can still be a shy person with trembling knees at the thought of speaking in public or addressing a stranger. outside.
Even meeting daily with business partners and conducting important negotiations, many people cannot call themselves confident and touch their jewelry every time, discussing working moments.
123RF / Evgeny Kleimenov
Shyness is one of the most common problems that clients turn to psychologists. It is rooted in fear of failure, ignorance, or humiliation. The complex of shyness, self-doubt, as a rule, is formed in childhood. And often the responsibility lies with the parents, who, unwittingly, make their child a shy quiet one.
It all starts with the words "step back, you won't succeed, you better not try, but where are you going, just look at yourself." Since the authority of parents, as a rule, is high, and in some families it is even undeniable, children naturally believe their dads and mothers, who convince them that they have no abilities, that they somehow look wrong and do something wrong. …
Growing up, people take with them from childhood and their complexes - a heavy bag that they carry with them all their lives. If one of the complexes is shyness, then the person closes in on himself, begins to get nervous and worry when he is required to leave the comfort zone and talk to a stranger, make a presentation, communicate at ease at a corporate event, etc.
123RF / Katarzyna Białasiewicz
People blush, sweat, twirl toothpicks or napkins in their hands, sometimes behave very strangely. And they always think about how awful they look now and how others make fun of them. As a result, life passes, taking hundreds of opportunities with us, and we continue to be shy, feel constrained, cannot decide on the slightest significant actions, feel awkward for what we say or do.
Is it possible to defeat shyness? Psychologists say that this struggle will not be easy and quick, but with full awareness of the problem and its causes, as well as the willingness to work on yourself, you can achieve tangible results.
123RF / Victor Koldunov
Be arrogant
Each person has his own idea of impudence and what is permissible in communicating with others and what is not. If it seems indecent to you to try on clothes in a store for a long time, and then leave with nothing, then do so. Do not think that you offend the seller who spent time and effort on you. Nothing of the sort is his job. And your duty is to allow yourself to be a little bolder than usual. This is how you get used to voicing your desires and requirements, without fear that someone will blame you for it.
Talk to strangers
Maya Bessarab in her book "Landau" describes the famous physicist as a very shy person, but at the same time adored people who are cheerful and self-confident. Lev Landau set out to defeat his shyness, and one of the exercises he performed was talking to strangers. So, for example, once walking along a crowded street, Landau plucked up courage (which was extremely difficult for him) and approached the self-confident gentleman, asking him a very strange question: "Why do you wear a beard?"
You should also overpower yourself: don't take your phone out of your pocket, contact a stranger and find out what time it is.
Shot from the TV series "Sex and the City"
Take an acting or public speaking course
Shy people are afraid to reveal themselves to strangers. The fear of public speaking is generally a classic of the genre. Therefore, you just need to put yourself in conditions in which you cannot do without dozens of eyes facing you. Of course, you can follow the example of the same Landau, who tied a balloon to his hat and walked in this form along Nevsky Prospekt. But it is much easier to start small - to go to acting or public speaking courses, where they will not only help you to relax and stop being afraid of the public, but also teach you how to speak correctly and beautifully. Nice bonus.
Insist on your
If you want the seller to weigh you exactly a kilogram of apples, then do not settle for an overweight of 200 grams. If you plan to spend a certain amount of money on a dress, and the consultant stubbornly forces you to buy twice as expensive, insist on your own. And not at all in order to save money, but only to show yourself and others that you know what you want, and it is not so easy to convince you otherwise.
Other people are no different from you
Even the most confident person is afraid to look stupid. Just like you, he pays attention to the eyes of the interlocutor, tries to listen to himself at the moment of speech, to analyze whether he is doing the right thing. Therefore, you should not think that there are you - a shy and timid person, but there are others - a kind of judge, before whom you must show yourself in the best possible light. People around you are just as dependent on someone else's opinion. And from yours as well.
Try to look your best
Feeling attractive can work wonders. Have you ever noticed that having done a beautiful and appropriate make-up, dressed neatly and stylishly, you start to feel much more confident? And the prospect of being alone among strangers no longer seems so daunting. Therefore, do not think that the role of appearance in the fight against shyness is grossly exaggerated.
It's much easier to step out of your comfort zone in high heels and a perfectly fitting skirt than in stretched jeans and old sneakers.
123RF / Iryna Kalchenko
There is an opinion that shyness paints a girl, they say, otherwise, this is the riotous behavior of an ill-mannered habalka. However, it should be understood that “coping with shyness” does not mean “becoming a boor and a brawler”. It is only about the need to relax in order to show yourself real: your abilities, desires and aspirations.
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