Personally, I am very glad that we live in a time when modern girls have the opportunity not to rush headlong "down the aisle" so that: " no one takes”and in general, so that society does not doubt their usefulness. And they have the opportunity to reasonably approach such a serious matter as marriage. Or - not marriage. In general, each person who is suitable for marriage in age is free to decide whether to enter into this "good business" or to remain on her own. These decisions, the further, the more difficult it is, because women in our country are becoming more beautiful and independent, and in this regard, the bar of requirements for a man is becoming higher and higher. So our girls often remain alone. Question two: Is it that bad? And how many single girls sincerely believe that being unmarried is very cool?
Everyone remembers Raisa Zakharovna, the heroine of Lyudmila Markovna Gurchenko from the film "Love and Doves", who only said that she values her freedom, but in fact she just dreamed of getting married …
Because in order to feel good in this freedom, you need to sincerely believe that this is what you really need and love your loneliness. If the hymns to loneliness in your mouth are just words, and you yourself dream of a "strong man's hand", then it is better to forget about spiritual harmony in this state. From my own experience, I can say that I have always loved to be alone, and the fact that being unmarried is good, I realized only after my third marriage. Each of them, judging by general standards, was successful. But simply, when the first strong feelings pass, the romantic flair flies away, real everyday life sets in and various frictions arise, work begins on the relationship. And then everyone decides whether you need it. Are you ready to work, or is it better to disperse? After the first and second marriages, I was sure that I would marry again and looked around in search of my "prince". I don't know what the real reason for the breakup was, but I had already approached the end of the third serious relationship with the thought that I really, I just really want to live alone. Probably, age affects.
The things that led me to this path are completely banal, and resemble the habits of a grated bachelor, but alas … it was they that turned out to be more important to me than living together.
Perhaps, to a woman who values her marriage and is absolutely calm about it every day, my desires will seem insignificant, but all people are different and here I am expressing an absolutely subjective point of view.
For example, I really do not like it when the TV turns on in the morning and rumbles in the background - in the morning I want goodness and silence. I don’t want to cook big breakfasts because I don’t eat in the morning. For a child, porridge is sacred. But I do not want to fry eggs, sandwiches, and then iron my shirt, instead of sitting down to drink tea or coffee, think about life, tune in for the day and calmly go out to people. In the evening after work, I do not want to constantly cook dinners and sit in front of the same blue screen. I want to drink my kefir and read. And most importantly, I don’t want to go every weekend without fail to the dacha, to my mother, to Uncle Vasya, with his best friend to barbecue and so on, but I want to sit at home and write books. That is, I want to take care of myself, and not devote my life to another.Naturally, I do not mind doing all these cute things for a loved one, but only if there is a desire, and not when you are "built" and charged with it as a duty.
In marriages, the opposite is often the case. A man either develops socially, or mimics a sofa with a newspaper, and a woman, in any case, seems to be with him. And I am sincerely happy for those women who had a different situation with their men. In my inner circle there is a whole one example of such a marriage! Perhaps, if I had it, I would have thought differently. But self-realization suddenly meant more to me.
And in general, I became somehow more comfortable alone. By “alone,” I don't mean the life of a hermit and a blue stocking. I mean simply the absence in life of a serious relationship with a man.
In a married life, provided that your husband is a decent man, of course, there are big advantages - you are supported both morally and, as they say, physically. Roughly speaking, you don't have to sit alone on New Year's Eve with a bottle in front of the TV, drag the suitcase to the airport or call the master to hang the shelf - well, in general, family life saves you from all these pictures that still sometimes cause condescending sympathy from society. from the life of an unmarried lady. In my case, it helps me to have loved ones - my big family and friends. By the way, I have several close friends of the same age who sincerely adhere to the same point of view. At the same time, we are all in excellent relations with the fathers of our children and do not feel flawed at all. On the contrary, some married people often envy us. In general, there is a trend! And I do not presume to judge whether this is good or bad. It just is!
Ksenia Bazhenova - a writer, a master of an action-packed novel. She recently published a book entitled "Escaping Darkness."
In general, the main advantage of an unmarried life is that you can do whatever you want. But if, to the question of the same enchanting Raisa Zakharovna, "Do you love this person?" a confident "yes!" And the notorious scrambled eggs will not be a burden, and the weekend with his best friend, and even a seditious thought may creep in, and is it not worth spending less time with your favorite work … Three years later, the attitude to everything can radically change, or maybe not … Although one my cynical friend (second marriage, three children, businesswoman:)), seeing young people kissing on the street, says: "Well, that's what you are kissing, because everyone has known everything for five years ahead!"
However, everyone decides everything for herself. After all, the main thing is that you feel good!