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A governess or nanny is a common occurrence today. But during the Soviet era, we have lost the traditions and culture of communication with visiting helpers. What are the parameters and how to choose a nanny? How to deal with her? Experts give advice.
Before looking, decide on a work schedule. For a nanny working 5 days a week, from 8 am to 8 pm, a fixed salary is more convenient. As a result, the pay per hour will be less than for the person whose duties include only picking up a child from kindergarten, for example. Check if the nanny can work overtime. And be prepared for the fact that she may not be able to stay late at work. In this case, if you often find yourself in traffic jams on your way home, the nanny may quit. And this can happen in the middle of the work week, for example.
It is necessary to draw up an agreement in which you specify passport details, contact numbers of the nanny herself and her relatives (in case of an emergency), work schedule, the amount of payment per month and the amount of overtime payment, and in addition - detailed (!) Scheduled duties.
Responsibilities depend on the age of the child. In a nanny of a child under one year old, a toddler under three years old and a preschooler, as a rule, they are different.
A babysitter should have experience working with newborns, medical education, massage skills and first aid techniques. At the interview, ask what she will do if the child chokes, for example. Having your own child is not a guarantee that you will have common views. For example, you prefer to feed by the hour, and the nanny may find it bullying. If the nanny is in the habit of swinging the stroller, the child will get used to it and at night will require you to swing it. You can temper, but she, on the contrary, wraps up all the time. If this is your firstborn, the nanny will almost certainly take care of you and mentor you. Let me know right away whether you want to see a proactive person or more important is the strict execution of requests.
A nanny of a child under 3 years old should know the psycho-emotional stages of a child's development - such as the "two-year-old crisis" and so on; must respond appropriately to them. For some, it is enough that a child at this age is simply not at home alone, and someone believes that at the age of three he should speak two languages.
It is necessary to draw up an agreement in which to indicate the details of the nanny, the work schedule, the amount of payment and the scheduled duties
At this age, as a rule, are required: walks in the fresh air; reading books, playing with the child; self-service skills training; classes on the development of speech and intelligence; conducting classes in drawing, modeling, learning poetry and children's songs; visit to the clinic. In addition, the nanny may be proficient in modern teaching and development techniques such as Montessori. And be ready to pay extra for them.
The duties of a nanny for a child under 6 years old include the development of creativity and preparation for school. Often this is added to the initial study of foreign languages and the first sports sections. In addition, she must be erudite enough, ready to answer thousands of "why".
If you think that during the daytime sleep of a child, especially a long-term infant, the nanny should be busy with something, try to agree on cleaning the apartment, cooking, washing and ironing the clothes - for an additional fee.
All this must be discussed with the prospective nanny and recorded in writing.
Important little things
- On the first day, show me where the first aid kit and first aid equipment are. Place in a prominent place a list of phone numbers of not only family members, but also the housing office, the children's emergency room in your area and the child's attending physician.Make a list of acquaintances and relatives who may come in your absence and to whom the nanny can open the door.
- Leave some money for contingencies.
Communicate with the nanny the same way you interact with colleagues
- Try to tell the nanny as fully as possible about the personal characteristics of family members. For example, the husband prefers to be silent until he drinks his morning coffee, and the eldest daughter does not like it when people enter her room. Discuss her responsibilities separately with all relatives. So that the mother-in-law does not ask to help her roll up the jars of jam and does not take offense that "the nanny does not allow her grandson to communicate with her."
- Be scrupulous about your finances. Pay your salary on time, it is perhaps the only source of income for another person and his entire family. When inviting to the summer cottage - do not forget to immediately stipulate the payment of time and money spent on the road, even if the amount is insignificant. Although it is better, of course, to meet the nanny and take her back.
Natalia Kitsis, nanny with 8 years of experience:
- The first day of work for the nanny is also not easy. Do not forget to mark its "territory". Give out the slippers and highlight the mug. Show where she can change and leave her clothes, have tea, where there are sugar and spoons. Warn that she should bring food with her, and if not, what she can use to have a snack. Explain how the nanny should behave if you spend time at home, and the child wants to communicate with you … And if not you, but your husband, and they will communicate or play - should the nanny interfere in this process and distract the baby ? Wouldn't her tact in this regard be perceived by the child's father as "inaction"? This is especially important during a family vacation with a nanny, for example, at sea.
Does your child have a nanny or a governess?
Lyubov Egorova, psychologist at the Barnaul Center for Sociology:
- Do not keep any claims to yourself and ask the nanny about the same. There should be no reservations between you. Often, what is in the order of things for us, to another person seems offensive or unacceptable. For this reason, it is advisable not to entrust this work to friends or, God forbid, relatives. Indicate the distance right away - specifying which form of communication is preferable - purely businesslike, or perhaps you strive for the nanny to become, as it were, a member of the family. Let me give you one move: communicate in the same way as you communicate with colleagues. Do not go over to you, do not discuss your problems in her presence. Psychologists also do not recommend eating at the same table and meeting the nanny in a bathrobe - even if you plan to spend the whole day at home, put on a tracksuit before her arrival.