Husband broke
Husband broke

Video: Husband broke

Video: Husband broke
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Broke husband
Broke husband

My husband broke down. At first I was confused. And then I think, why so … Well, it broke … When my clock broke last year, I took it to the workshop, paid fifty rubles … Well, in general, the clock works. And the husband, the clock is worse? And I don’t mind the money… I’ll pay fifty or even a hundred square meters. If only they could fix it.

I opened a newspaper with ads. And there … so many things are not being repaired. And calling the master is free, and repairs at the client's home … I think where to call: to repair furniture or repair household appliances.

Every evening on the couch in front of the TV with a newspaper in his hands, in the same position, he fits so harmoniously into the interior … shading the wallpaper with his panties … I was already inclined to think that dialing the number of a furniture repair company, I would not be mistaken.

But not always he lies on the couch. After all, he sometimes knocks out the carpet and takes out the trash on Sundays. And if the master throws a hundred more, then he may be able to persuade him to install a couple more functions in her husband … Cooking and washing clothes is, perhaps, difficult … But he could easily cope with washing dishes and shining shoes. And inspired by my idea, I dialed the number of an appliance repair company.

A pleasant female voice answered.

- Hello, my husband broke.

- Shower? Call a plumber.

- Not a shower … husband.

- Husband? Go to the hospital.

- A …

Pip-pip-pip-pip …

So, there will be no additional functions … It's a pity. I should probably call the furniture repair company. So that the word is not confused here too"

After exchanging greetings, I began smugly: "You see … my other half is junk … I think she's broken." - "Half of what?" the other end of the line asked busily. - "My half, my husband …"

After inquiring about my whereabouts, the girl promised that the master would be there until the end of the day. Indeed, two hours later the doorbell rang. After greeting and introducing himself, the young man asked: "Well, show me where is your chest?" - "What?" - "Did you call the master?" - "Yes". - "The address is such and such?" - "Yes". - "My application says:" Broken chest lid. So I ask, where is the chest? " - "But I don't have a chest …" - "And what is there? Show that there is …"

Well, I showed … "Here, - I say, - husband, spouse, second half … broke …"

“I’m not against jokes, but an hour of my working time is expensive … very expensive. I drove across the city to you, spent two hours, now I’ll go back - another two hours. You also have here … Six hours is obtained … And the cost of the trip more … In general, you have to compensate me for all this."

I ask: "How can we compensate for this?" - "Money, darling, money." But then I was not at a loss and I showed him the newspaper: "Calling the master - free" And he told me: "This is an outdated advertisement" - "But what about outdated, if today's newspaper?" - "And so. The newspaper is today, and the announcement is outdated." - "Well, no," I say, "on what announcement I called you, I will pay for this … or rather, I will not. Not only can you not repair, so you want me to pay for it?"

Then he got nervous. In general, in order to quickly end the dispute, I had to remove the gun from the wall …

The master left, but the problem remained.

The word "hospital" was spinning in my head. When Katka, on the fifth day, had a drunken Vitka who fell down the stairs and broke his arms and legs, she was repairing him in the hospital. Well, well, a hospital is a hospital.

I called Svetka. Once we studied in the same class, then each went to its own institute, but we still call back. Basically, I call her if someone needs to be treated. She's working at the hospital now. So and so, I say, my husband broke, what exactly broke, I do not know. Svetka advised me to take an X-ray. "There," he says, "it will be immediately visible if anything is broken."

The x-rays were done. Sveta looked at the picture and said: "Whole. And why did you decide that it broke?" - "How what? Refuses to knock out carpets, does not want to take out the garbage, began to look to the left …" - "So maybe he has something with his eyes?

We went to the eye. But even there they said that everything is in order …

"Well, - I think, - okay … if they can't repair it … I'll return it to where I took it … and if it's still under warranty, then we must replace it" …

I came to the registry office, here, I say, I got a poor-quality one, take it back. They do not want to, the administration is not responsible. "How can it not be so? Here, your stamp is worth, they must accept." - "What do you have? A marriage certificate? Well, so we even warned you …"

I went home … I was upset … My hands dropped completely. I suddenly seemed so helpless … my legs give way … let me, I think, take a break …

I sat down on a bench in front of the entrance. There usually grandmothers gather. And then there was no one. I sit, thinking about my misfortune. How Aunt Pasha got hooked - I overlooked. And she, apparently, noticed that something was not right for me … But she did not ask. "And let's go," he says, "to have tea with me with cookies, baked it this morning, and the movie starts soon, we'll see …"

She's kind … Aunt Pasha. And I don't want cookies, but I can watch movies at home. But she went so as not to offend her. As I think now that I could refuse - even fear takes.

We were sitting, drinking tea, watching TV, so good … Suddenly the screen went out. There is sound, but no image. Well, I think, we looked. And Aunt Pasha was not taken aback, went to the TV, and banged on it with his fist … The image immediately appeared. I say: "Aunt Pasha, what are you doing? Are you going to break him? You would have called the master." "Yes, she called me, I came twice. Toca pay money in vain. And I have no extra money."So I repair it myself, no worse than your master. And I'll break it, and to hell with him. "Then I choked on tea and remembered about mine. Thank you for the tea, but I urgently need to go home …

Thanks to Aunt Pasha … I will be grateful to her forever. Vasya and I live well. Now he is not a current carpets and rubbish, and shopping too, and children from kindergarten, all of him, my beloved …

And if you have any problems with the men, then come. Now I understand well in this matter. And I can help with advice, and not only. How can you find me? So I put an ad in the newspaper: "Calling the master for free, repairs at the client's home, I guarantee the quality!"

Olga ROZAK

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