How to insure a bust? Reportage

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Not so long ago, Alena Vodonaeva, a former participant of the Dom-2 project, insured her luxurious breasts for one hundred thousand dollars. Interestingly, only the stars have such insurance? I decided to clarify this issue and called a dozen insurance companies with the question: "Can I insure your breasts with you?"

My "separate body parts"

This interest is not idle for me. Back in the sixth grade, I had a second breast size. Now I am proudly wearing the fifth. And having such wealth has its drawbacks. Forgetting about my size, I regularly hurt other people (rather, I even bump into them). And the most unpleasant thing is when strangers try to pinch or snuggle up to my bust. About acquaintances with their jokes, I generally keep quiet! Everyone has been saying for a long time: "You are not a Hollywood star, but you should still insure your treasures!" No sooner said than done.

I called one of the most popular insurance companies in Russia.

- I would like to insure breasts …

- Hee-hee-hee!

- Did I even get there?

My interlocutor continued to giggle silly:

- Now I will connect you.

She was replaced by a stern male voice:

- We do not insure individual parts of the body.

Down and Out trouble started. I dial the number of another insurance company whose ad is looking at us from every billboard and ask the same question. In response, I was reprimanded as a naughty schoolgirl neighbor.

- Who is this perverted here ?! What a joke ?!

And they hung up. In the third company, without even listening to my explanations, they immediately offered to insure the tombstone against a tree falling on it.

Calling a few more insurance companies gave nothing. Everywhere I heard: "We do not have a product" insurance of individual parts of the body."

It turns out that the stars can, but I can’t ?! Their body parts cost money, but mine, no less attractive, no ?! It seems that these are just PR games, when insurance companies become popular due to an imaginary sensation and interest in media people is fueled!

But he who seeks will always find.

It is impossible to insure against fans

The next day I dialed the phone of the first, not too well-known company, and - oh, a miracle! - they heard me and promised to help. The young man, who introduced himself as Grigory, listened to me without giggling and said quite seriously: “There are no formal prohibitions on insuring individual body parts. Do you want to insure your right or left breast?"

- Both are desirable.

- And from what?

- From injuries! They constantly strive to pinch me!

It turned out that such insurance is impossible: after all, I can organize the scratches myself. Besides, even if some fan of my chest grabs it, what evidence of this incident can I provide? We need a video recording, witnesses … And again, a person can do this at my request. In general, I was denied insurance against pinches. The risk is too high for the company. The gracious Gregory suggested another option: an accident. But, for example, a cut or burn on the chest cost about a thousand dollars. They will heal, but this money is clearly not enough for a cosmetic operation. And in case, God forbid, of course, if as a result of an accident I lose one breast completely, then I could be paid for the most expensive plastic surgery. But I didn't even want to think about it. And then I made a knight's move.

Terms of an agreement

- Can i insure breasts from loss of appearance after childbirth?

Gregory thought about it and decided to consult with experts. It took him two days.

- We consulted. In principle, this option can be considered. Interesting insured event. There is only one "but". Before signing the contract, we must examine the insurance product, that is, your breasts. For stretch marks, skin elasticity. It is necessary to find out how much you are inclined to be overweight. And at the time of signing the contract, we will fix your weight. In the future, you will be strictly forbidden to pick or drop it sharply, because this can affect your chest!

I imagined how a whole council would be gathered in the insurer's office: surely many specialists of various profiles would want to participate in the examination! Horror!

- And you will also have to go to a mammologist, who will determine the presence or absence of diseases of the mammary glands, - my interlocutor continued. - If your breasts are healthy, then an expert will take measurements before your pregnancy. Marks the distance between your belly and, sorry, nipples.

Then it got worse. Throughout the pregnancy, experts will have to observe how I handle the bust. Do I smear him with special creams for stretch marks, or wear special supportive underwear. After giving birth, my breasts will again be subjected to a rigorous examination and will determine how much it has dropped and whether it is my fault.

- And how much could it cost? I asked timidly. - How much will I deduct?

- We do not yet have such a product, so we suggest that you decide on the amount of insurance yourself. What time are you ready to evaluate your breasts?

I suffered for three days. And she realized that she was not ready for such bullying, even for the sake of complete peace of mind for the fate of her beauty.

Hanging or not hanging?

The famous actress Sophia Loren was the first to dare insure breasts in the amount of $ 120 thousand. Her follower was the legendary Gina Lollobrigida, who estimated her bust five times more expensive - $ 600 thousand.

The actress insured her bust against loss of appearance, that is, from sagging. An expert annually measures the distance between the abdomen and the extremities of Lollobrigida's chest. And when it sharply decreases - and this will certainly happen, because no one has canceled the laws of gravity - a patient woman will receive the entire amount of insurance due to her.