Super mother-in-law

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

"Do not tell anyone your dreams - what if Freudians come to power," warns Stanislav Jerzy Lec. Yeah. I had better not tell my dreams, and everything else, however, too. After all, psychoanalysts all the time strive to catch the problem by the tail, while constantly doubting whether it has a tail and whether there is a problem at all.

Stop. By the tail, I meant only the tail and nothing else. Although now I myself am not sure of this.

My friend Lech recently offered his hand and heart (which, by the way, felt great, beating idle) to his beloved girlfriend. And the neck - to her mother (but it turned out later). I got married. Well, this can happen to anyone. I do not know what will become of him, but I am already observing the consequences - Fomenko has become the most cited author. Actually, only one phrase is quoted, but with enviable constancy: "Love for a mother-in-law is measured in kilometers." You don't need to run for a calculator to calculate his love for his mother-in-law, who nibbles seeds every day in the next room.

The fact of ritual "peeling" of seeds immediately alerted me - it smells of delayed development at the oral stage: it looks like Lekhina super mother-in-law from infancy, the mouth is the main and almost the only source of positive experiences. Indeed, with his help, she satisfies her biological needs - to absorb seeds and saw Lech.

I said to Leha: "You know, friend, but she, along the way, has an oral-aggressive character." Lech happily agreed, apparently taking these words for a dirty curse.

In fact, the oral-aggressive character is not even a curse at all, but a type of personality that is expressed in a love of arguments, pessimism, cynicism, a desire to exploit other people and dominate them in order to satisfy their needs. Once again I admire psychoanalysis: how many interesting things you can learn about a person, starting from his innocent, but excessive love for seeds. In theory, the mother-in-law could also have an oral-passive character, then she would be cheerful, optimistic and trusting. But this does not in any way connect with the traditional concept of "mother-in-law", so we will discard this hypothesis as potentially upsetting the son-in-law, that is, Lech. I have one more guess - what if Lekhina's mother-in-law just loves seeds?

In general, somehow I do not want to develop the theme of the mother-in-law, about which only the lazy did not joke or pun. These conflicts have always been and always will be. In order not to provoke them once again, it is best to just live separately. The golden truth. In English, for example, there are not even such terms as "mother-in-law" and "mother-in-law" - they are called by one common word "mother-in-law". And all because no married American dash an Englishman in his right mind and sober mind would ever come up with the idea of living with his wife's parents in the same house, even if his super mother-in-law with a wonderful oral-passive character.

The aborigines of Australia and many Melanesian, Polynesian and Negro peoples went even further: according to their traditions, mother-in-law and son-in-law should generally avoid each other. Away from sin.

You never know … this is our mother-in-law gnawing her son-in-law "orally", and there the mother-in-law is wild: they will eat it with all the giblets, and they will make beads and earrings from the bones. Therefore, local customs are humane to men. So, in vanna Lava, the son-in-law should not walk along the seashore until the tide has washed away the traces of his mother-in-law's feet in the sand.

But they can communicate with each other at a great distance (here it is Fomenkov's "love in kilometers"), however, without calling each other by name. But it is customary for the Zulu to talk to their mother-in-law only through a third person or through an obstacle, for example, being on opposite sides of the wall. Men from the Solomon Islands are most fortunate: since the time of their marriage, they are generally forbidden to look at their mother-in-law and talk to her. If the son-in-law accidentally meets his mother-in-law, then he must pretend that he is not here at all in business and immediately hide or flee. Here it is primitive wisdom …

… And the conclusion is simple: it is better to live separately from super mother-in-law … So it is somehow calmer. Lech, by the way, is already looking for an apartment, and in his spare time he envies uncivilized peoples and follows the progress of genetic engineering in the hope that his mother-in-law will soon cut only his clone. Life goes on…