Modern matchmakers: cases from their practice

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Matchmakers today are good-looking, have a psychological education and receive clients in cozy offices. However, the very essence of the work - to choose the one, the only one (or the only one) who will be there in wealth and poverty - remains unchanged over the years, only the working methods and approach change.

From the history

Nowadays, irresponsible citizens marry, relying on such an unreliable feeling as love. A hundred years ago, this would have seemed a terrible barbarism: how is it possible to get married, not knowing what kind of family a person has and what is his movable and immovable capital? How to choose a bride, not knowing what kind of dowry they give for her and whether they give it at all, or the matter will be limited to sheets embroidered with girlish handles.

In order to find out all these details, a matchmaker was required. The matchmaker was the groom's representative. It was to the man that she proposed various candidates, described the bride, and in case of collusion she received the due reward. It happened that it was from the matchmaker that the groom learned the details of the appearance of the bride, whom he saw for the first time only on the wedding day.

So the paramount task of the matchmaker was not so much to help a person meet his love, but to pick up a worthy bride with a rich dowry from a good family, and only then - endure and fall in love.

Modern matchmakers, on the other hand, help find a loved one. To understand how matchmakers work in the 21st century, I met three women whose job for several years has been to select husbands and wives.

Alla Nikolaevna is 65 years old, and for the last 12 years she has been working as a matchmaker.

- The idea was suggested by a friend, - recalls Alla Nikolaevna, - the thing, as they say, went, so, I still do it. Of course, I don't work as a dating agency with a huge number of people. I have few clients, but if I get down to business, I bring it to the crown. Now it is so difficult to find a worthy person just for marriage! You won't get to know each other on the street, it's scary. Hiccuping your husband in a nightclub? And if you are not twenty or even thirty already? And what kind of suitors are there? For a serious relationship and you will not meet anyone. It is very difficult to find your soul mate. Here I had a couple: they lived on the same street, they walked the same road to me, and they met only with my help. Now they live in perfect harmony.

Alla Nikolaevna accepts at home - as in the good old days, conducts a sincere conversation with a client over a cup of tea. All data about the grooms and brides are stored in a regular notebook.

- Women turn to me at the age of 45. But men, on the contrary, are younger - about 30. Men are, of course, less demanding. But women!.. Immediately lovely ladies ask for at least a prince. And then the requirements are gradually reduced. Although, as a rule, everyone wants the same thing: men are looking for beautiful and kind, women - reliable and self-sufficient.

- For my work, you need to be a good psychologist - without it, nowhere. Sometimes a person comes and says: I need such and such a wife. The main thing is to be beautiful and thin. Well, I see that in fact he needs a kind one who will warm, patient, affectionate! So I select it according to my opinion. Then they still say thank you, they invite you to weddings. Although, of course, it all depends on the woman. A man, he himself will never marry. He only thinks that he himself will marry, but in fact a woman brings him to this decision - gently, non-intrusively, but persistently.

Alla Nikolaevna herself is not married. To the immodest question "Why?" smiles and replies: "Well, what are you, why do I need this?"

Elena Nikolaevna, a young spectacular woman of 33 years old, on the contrary, has long been happily married. And for 6 years he has been trying to help everyone else find their love.

- First of all, I need to get to know the person who is asking for my help. After all, I select pairs based on my understanding of what this or that person needs. Some come after difficult divorces, breakups, and I try to restore the person's faith in himself, in love.

The most important thing is a positive attitude. So I explain to everyone. If a person has a negative attitude, I do not even undertake to work with him. All the same, nothing will come of it. That is why I have such a huge number of established couples (about 10 per month) - because I return people to faith in themselves, help them deal with their problems, and as a result - mutual love and a wedding.

Elena Nikolaevna not only arranges other people's destinies, she explains to her clients how not to lose their newly found love.

- Very often women say: all men are goats. If you think so, then you really will come across only goats. In no case should you cut a man and try to remake him. Cultivate the best in your chosen one and love him for who he is.

Anna Vasilievna prefers to call herself not a matchmaker, but a mediator.

- The client comes, fills out a questionnaire, where he describes himself and writes wishes for the expected half (groom / bride). And I'm already picking up. He orders a skinny brunette without animals - I choose such from all my "brides". Well, then we select those who might like this "groom". Then they act on their own.

Elena says that everyone's requirements can be very different.

- Look, - shows me one of the questionnaires, - the lady writes: "To be without a car." This means that the previous chosen one spent all his days in the garage, digging in his "swallow". Or here - "not a Virgo". This means that there was a negative experience of communication with this zodiac sign. Someone says: I don’t need divorced, better widows. And someone on the contrary: do not need a widow, she will cry about her ex-husband until the end of her days.

When choosing a pair, I try to immediately show not a photograph, but tell about the qualities of a person, about his character. After all, many are non-photogenic, someone is ugly in appearance, but very charming in person.

Do you know how it happens? It seems that in all respects the couple suits each other, but in a personal meeting - nothing. Some spark does not slip.

And it happens the other way around. Here I have one pair. According to personal data, they did not fit each other at all, but met - fell in love with each other at first sight. She moved in with him two weeks later. And now we have been together for a year.

I tell all my clients: you need to act. If you lie on the stove and wait for the prince, you can wait until the end of your days. We need to be more active ourselves.

Well, and, of course, believe that one day you will meet that very one. But this is exactly what happens, this is what I am telling you as a specialist.

Where to find and how much does it cost

The matchmaker enters into a contract with the client for a period of a year, during which she selects a pair. If during this time a worthy candidate is not found, the term of the contract is extended.

Each client is obliged to provide passport data - thus the matchmakers are insured against swindlers.

Services cost differently: from purely symbolic 1,000 rubles to infinity, depending on the matchmaker.

It is better to look for a matchmaker on the recommendation of friends - as a rule, the best matchmakers do not actively advertise themselves and work with a rather small number of people, but the fame about them is passed from mouth to mouth.

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