Surviving renovation and staying together: 4 commandments

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

When two people decide to make their apartment a cozy family nest - re-glue the wallpaper, paint the ceiling, change the flooring and acquire new furniture, they readily take on renovations, anticipating a great result. And some even think that the joint ennobling of a common home brings them closer together, and the process itself resembles shots from romantic films in which a girl smears her lover's nose with paint, both laugh and then eat sandwiches while sitting on the floor in the room.

But the reality, unfortunately, is far from the cinema, and most couples who have started repairs quarrel with each other so much that sometimes it comes to parting.

123RF / dotshock

Of course, if you are now on the verge of a major renovation, you do not need to tune in to loud scandals and tantrums in advance, it is quite possible that everything will go smoothly. However, it is still worth spreading straws: it is better to prevent possible quarrels than to try to solve the problem on the spot, when both rest on the horn and do not want to make concessions.

Most often, conflicts arise from a mismatch of views, perceptions and expectations. Do you dream of a vintage interior in light colors, and your husband prefers high-tech glass and metal shine? What is not a reason for a quarrel? But it can also be avoided. How to keep the peace in the family in the conditions of complete chaos in the apartment, where instead of comfortable furniture there are mountains of boxes with things, the sight of bare ragged walls makes you feel despondent, and the smell of paint makes your head spin?

1. Agree in advance

Before proceeding with the repair, discuss with your beloved all the nuances of the upcoming alteration: room design, furniture, price category of building materials, etc.

It is worth paying attention even to those little things that seem insignificant. For example, the color of the wallpaper - how many couples arrange the Cold Wars just because they cannot agree on a common version.

It is better to discuss in advance who will be responsible for decorating the walls in the living room, and who will choose furniture for the kitchen. If during the discussion you understand that in some way your views do not agree, then suggest to your loved one that everyone take responsibility for a specific field of activity, based on your knowledge and skills.

For example, you are closely involved in the combination of colors and the selection of lighting, and the husband is responsible for the work of the craftsmen whom you hire to lay the tiles and replace the flooring.

123RF / lightpoet

2. Follow the plan

When the preferences are voiced, and the action plan for the upcoming renovation is ready, get ready to follow it clearly. Agree, it will be extremely unpleasant for you if your husband suddenly starts giving orders where, according to a preliminary agreement, only you decide everything.

Of course, in the course of the action, you will understand where it is worth making some adjustments and giving your beloved man a little advice, but in no case present it in an edifying form or in the form of a claim that humiliates him: “You don’t understand at all that this is can not be done? Somewhere you are smart, but somewhere - like a child! No man will tolerate doubts about his intellectual abilities, and therefore such a statement can be considered the beginning of one of the biggest conflicts in your family life.

3. Entrust him with the rough work

The best way to avoid quarrels during repairs is to entrust a man with something in which he, by definition, is stronger than you, namely the so-called rough work - choosing building materials, finding and monitoring the work of craftsmen, replacing the plumbing system, etc.

Let him feel like a super professional, and in the meantime you will do what most women like so much - bringing the apartment to mind and decorating the premises. It is very important to trust your chosen one, and it would be right on your part to demonstrate to him in every possible way that there is only one man here, and that is him.

By the way, this approach is also convenient, because you automatically free yourself from everything that makes the repair look like a disaster. Well, or almost everything.

123RF / Andrey Kiselev

4. Remember that repairs will end

Sooner or later, all this devastation will turn into a comfortable apartment of your dreams, but a relationship that has been severely tested in the form of quarrels, scandals and tantrums may never recover.

Always remember that the renovation will be over. And is it worth wasting your nerves on something that will not seem so important in six months, when you suddenly want to make a new renovation? Therefore, always make compromises, calmly argue your position and respect the point of view of your partner - after all, he too will live in this apartment, just like you.