The wife does not want a child, but I want

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Children are procreation, and it is very important for the head of the family to become a father. “The wife does not want a child, but I do,” - often men are unable to understand the reasons for this behavior of their beloved and turn to a psychologist for help.

Common reasons for not wanting to become a mom

It happens that the fairer sex in every possible way postpones the moment of the birth of a child, because they are elementary afraid and cannot overcome the psychological barrier and control themselves. This behavior can be in the following cases.

Influence of the past

The woman grew up in a large family and knows firsthand what responsibility is. From her youth, she had to take on some responsibilities for the upbringing of younger brothers and sisters, and meanwhile, she did not receive due attention from her parents.

In a sense, she was deprived of care and love and does not want such a fate for her children, or, in principle, is not ready to plunge into the process of raising children again, because she remembers how it was. All this lays a certain imprint and, becoming an adult, a woman is simply afraid that the maternal instinct will not wake up in her, and she and her children will be aloof and indifferent. As a result, they will suffer.

The desire to make a career

The woman is overcome by the fear that, having become a mother, she will lose the opportunity to realize herself. She is frightened by the prospect that, being on maternity leave, she will lose her professional skills and be left out of work. It can take three or even more than five years to get into the profession.

In such cases, men ask the question: the wife does not want a child, but I want, what to do? If you don't sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk, the situation can escalate to the limit and lead to divorce.

Psychological trauma

Perhaps once the woman was already pregnant, but it all ended in a miscarriage, or she had a very difficult birth. Often, after such a grief, the fair sex is simply afraid that the attempt to become a mother again may end in tears, and she simply will not survive it.

To re-decide to get pregnant, you need to prepare mentally. The man's task is not to blame, but to be affectionate and gentle, to convince his beloved that this time everything will be fine.

Unhappy childhood

The woman is frightened by the memory that she was once left to herself and did not see the proper attention from her parents. It seems that she will transfer this behavior to her children. In this case, it is very difficult to overcome the psychological barrier without the advice of a psychologist, and sometimes even impossible.

The desire to live for yourself beloved

Also not uncommon. Especially when it comes to a young woman just married. I would like to fully enjoy the attention, affection and care from the new spouse. Go out with him, travel, arrange noisy fun parties. With the birth of a child, this will be relegated to the background, and taking care of the baby will come first, and only then everything else.

Material side

The wife does not want children, but the husband wants - the reason may lie in the elementary fear of the financial plan. If the spouses are already barely making ends meet, it is clear that the woman is worried about the future of her child. She wants to give the baby the best, but she is not sure that at this stage she and her husband can handle it. She cannot speak directly about her doubts, so as not to lower the man's self-esteem and inadvertently offend him.

In no case should you put pressure on a woman without finding out the true reason for unwillingness to become a mother. Perhaps the problem is much more serious and related to health.

Medical problems

It so happens that a woman simply cannot have a child, but she herself found out about this when she got married, and now she does not know how to tell her spouse. She is afraid to hear that she has deliberately hidden this fact. The reason may also be related to medical indications, if someone has a genetic disease in the family. The wife fears that the disease will be inherited by the baby.

What if the wife flatly refuses to give birth to children

If a man and a woman still have the most tender and reverent feelings for each other, it is worth looking for a compromise. The first step is to have a heart-to-heart talk and, only after finding out the reason, look for a solution.

If there is no mutual understanding in the family, it is quite possible that this is the work of a man. Then it is worth working to regain the favor of the faithful. And not in words, but in deeds, every day to prove to the other half how dear she is. Who knows, what if soon she herself will delight the man with the long-awaited news that they will soon become parents.

His task is to take care of the financial well-being of the family, since during the decree it is the man who will be the main earner. And it is quite possible that the question of why the wife does not want children will disappear by itself.

Divorce or not

There is no exact formula for how to behave in this or that case, everything is individual. Divorce is not the best solution, but therefore, in order to finally understand what to do next, you need to figure out what exactly motivates a man to become a father as soon as possible. The goal is to realize himself in front of relatives and friends who are constantly bothering with the question: "Well, when can we expect replenishment from you?"

The desire of one of the spouses is not enough. Children should grow up in love and care. This is possible only if they are desired by both, and not by one.

If the spouses have been officially married for a long time, but the wife stubbornly does not want to be added to the family, and the reasons cannot be called serious, you should think about divorce. Time passes and it is quite possible that a man will build his relationship with another woman and realize himself as a father. She, too, in turn, will meet a person who shares a similar point of view, and children are not included in his plans. In this case, everyone will only get better.

Thinking about why the beloved does not want to give birth to a child, it is worth finding out the root cause. If this is not related to health, it makes sense to think about whether you are ready to give up the heir for the sake of a woman who, in principle, does not consider your reasons and desires.

In all other cases, not all is lost. Truly loving and dear people will always be able to come to an agreement, even if it's about physiology. Now medicine has gone ahead, you can resort to IVF, surrogacy, or take a child from an orphanage, becoming the best parents for him and giving him love and care.

Outcomes

1. Before pouring accusations against your wife, you should find out the reason for not wanting to give you a son or daughter. If it's about complexes, you need to raise her self-esteem, making it clear that she can count on you in everything.
2. Did the woman have a miscarriage or difficult labor? It is unlikely that it will be possible to relieve her of her fears on her own. You will need the help of a professional psychologist to get your spouse out of a depression.
3. If a woman has not realized her ideas, then you should give her time to decide and in no case press.
4. Finding out the reasons why a woman is in no hurry to give birth will help to come to an understanding, understand what to do and keep the relationship.