How to be friends with an oligarch's wife?

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Years later, the two best friends in school suddenly found themselves on different rungs of the social ladder. Friendship has cracked, but I really do not want to lose it … A situation that is often encountered today. What to do? How to communicate with the wife of an oligarch?

A story of a broken friendship

Olya and Nadia were friends from the tenth grade, from the very moment Nadia moved to Olya's school. Their affection for each other was not damaged either by studying at different institutes, or Olino's early marriage, or the fact that they lived in opposite ends of Moscow. For fifteen years they have experienced a lot of things together - the betrayal of friends, and career ups and downs, and meeting and parting with loved ones. At one time they were even in love with the same young man, but, despite strong feelings, in the end they came to the conclusion that their friendship is much more valuable than any man. And joint vacation trips - by savages to Anapa, or to a five-star Turkish hotel!

And about two years ago, Nadia, who was then divorced, announced an imminent wedding with another fan. Olya was against it in her heart: it seemed to her that Nadine's chosen one was too busy with his business to give her friend enough attention. Unfortunately, she turned out to be right - there was no attention or care, but, oddly enough, from Nadia's point of view, everything was compensated by the amount of money that her husband gave her for pocket money. Now she - oligarch's wife.

Who would have thought that money could change a person like that. Nadya suddenly became desperately carried away by buying up gold items, expensive lingerie and clothes of the most famous brands. Now she agreed to go to the exhibition only on condition of its "prestige", and to the concert - only if he went to the Bolshoi Theater. When asked to sit in a street cafe, Nadya replied: "I won't sit here and I won't eat it," and drove her friend to an unjustifiably expensive (in Olin's opinion) restaurant.

But most importantly, Olya felt that her friend had changed her attitude towards her. Several times Nadya accused Olya of being "strangled by a toad": they say, she does not buy things that really suit her, because she regrets money. A friend gave Olya's husband a super-modern computer for his birthday, knowing full well that his wife could only give her husband another tie, and, moreover, not the most expensive one. And when Olya a couple of times did not return Nadezhda the money she had borrowed and asked for a little more before the paycheck, her friend frankly expressed her displeasure. That is, she did borrow money, but with the look as if the latter was being taken away from her.

“All the humiliations that I suffered from my ex-best friend cannot be enumerated. - Olya says. - But I was sorry to lose her, and I endured all this disgrace for a long time, until I finally realized that it was not worth communicating with this person. True, now sometimes I ask myself the question: what if it is my fault that I could not keep the old friendship?"

Psychologist's comment

Contrary to popular male opinion, female friendships can be very strong and last a lifetime. She is not a hindrance to either separation, or men, or different education. But differences in social status or financial situation, especially if one of the friends suddenly and abruptly went to a much higher financial level, sometimes becomes a reason for cooling down, or even ending the relationship altogether. This is exactly what happened to Olga and Nadezhda - the oligarch's wife … However, the gap could have been avoided if Olya more often put herself in the shoes of her friend.

Since such situations are not uncommon in our time, it makes sense to offer several recommendations for such a case.

Tips for a rich friend

• Do not suggest joint restaurant visits to your less well-to-do friend. Even if you're willing to pay for it. Remember that she does not have the opportunity to make a return gesture, and the offer to entertain herself at your expense may well offend her. The same applies to gifts: don't give too expensive.
• Don't get your girlfriend to work with you. As practice shows, this does not end well: a “blessed” friend is most often sure that she should continue to be dragged up the career ladder, and if this is not done, she feels offended and deprived - with all the ensuing consequences.
• Do not let yourself sit on your neck in the material plane. Of course, from time to time you can lend to a friend who finds herself in a difficult financial situation, but you cannot turn this into a system: you will hardly receive gratitude, and there will always be a reason for displeasure on both sides. If you do decide to borrow money, do it in such a way that it seems to your friend that it is a pleasure for you to help her out. And it doesn't matter how it really is.
• Give your friend compliments, but, of course, not related to her acquisitions - she will suspect you of insincerity. Better admire her hairstyle or personal qualities.

Tips for a "poor" friend

• Don't be offended by your friend's seeming boasting of her wealth. When she tells you about buying a second car, she doesn’t show off, but shares her joy. In the same way, as in the old days, she talked about a cool outfit, dug out for a penny in a second hand.



Do not try to imitate a wealthy friend's clothes and purchases. She still will not appreciate your expensive purchases made at the cost of incredible sacrifices, since for her this is the norm, everyday trifles.

• There are people who are ready to boast of poverty, complaining about life, but there are those who are ashamed to admit that they have no money. If you are a very pronounced second type, use all kinds of tricks in an awkward situation. For example, if a friend brought you to an expensive cafe, order only salad and water, saying that you are on a diet. Participating in shopping that you cannot afford, say that you do not need anything - you, they say, cannot figure out old things in any way - and then focus on choosing new things for your friend. She will only be grateful to you.
• Your friend's money is her money. It doesn't matter how she got them. A friend shouldn't share with you. You can, of course, in case of extreme need, borrow from her, but do not turn it into a system.
• And most importantly - do not envy your friend's wealth. And do not gloat if she suddenly loses it - better support her.

Tips for both

• Remember the old days and all sorts of funny stories that happened in your shared past often.
• Choose a pastime that doesn't cost much. Go, for example, to the forest for a barbecue, or go to the cinema.
• Visit each other, not forgetting that one of you should not brag about European-quality renovation and designer furniture, and the other has nothing to be ashamed of an apartment that has not been renovated for a long time, in which you spent more than one evening talking.
• Just love each other, as before, because only God knows which of you is now living easier.

Of course, both of you will have to make some effort to control yourself and try to avoid embarrassing situations. But isn't the good old friendship worth it?