I am writing to you

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Sometimes it seems that the well-known expression "initiative is punishable" has lost its former relevance. Moreover, now the dynamic word "initiative" is used everywhere and with pleasure. Initiative, as a personal quality, is welcomed by employers. To initiate your own success in any of the life spheres of a modern and intelligent girl means to be worthy of all praise … However, what about women's initiative in the most intimate of our reality components? It will be about a woman's initiative in her personal life, in that subtle matter concerning the relationship between a Man and a Woman.

The most famous "initiative" young lady in our country is Tatiana Larina. And, you must admit, she has earned this reputation. Youth, inexperience, falling in love, … whatever the motivation for her recklessness (and this is exactly what women's initiative was called in those distant times), no one would ever think of condemning Tatyana's ardent gesture. But should we follow her example? This is still a controversial issue … It would seem that "primitive" times, when expressions such as "A man is a hunter, a woman is a victim" were in use, have sunk into oblivion. However, is this really so? And has the "basic instinct" of the Hunter-Man really plunged into oblivion forever? Now it’s easier than ever to provoke a flurry of indignation among militant feminists with just one phrase that the initiative in personal relationships is tacitly the prerogative of men, moreover, based on the same notorious “hunting instinct”.

That is, while the Man feels the excitement of the chase, the adrenaline in his blood is seething, the interest in the elusive Sacrifice makes him lose his mind … And such a "savage" line of behavior is quite logical, since it was created and, therefore, justified by Nature itself. Plus, in the process of the Hunt, powerful chemical processes are triggered in the organisms of both the Hunter and his beautiful Victim, the actors of which are mysterious pheromones and endorphins, and the result is Great Love. Everything is flawless, do not find fault, do not subtract, do not add. There is only one "but": really, the scientific and technological revolution, coupled with widespread progress, has not changed anything in the "primitive" behavior of Homo sapiens?

And really, we, women, so modern and businesslike, successful, and sometimes even more than men, need to be content with the role of the Victim, even if charming, but still the Victim? Questions from the category of rhetorical, since the answers to them, and the answers of people who are very competent in the secrets of the depths of human souls, that is, psychologists, are sometimes convincing, but diametrically opposite.

Some advise to trust the instincts and rely on them, completely and completely trusting the Call of Nature. Following this point of view (the correctness of which will be confirmed by the mass of successful women), you choose for yourself the image of a certain Elusive Doe, the "chase" after which drives the man of your dreams crazy (and sometimes to such an extent that he moves into the category of the Husband). In everyday life, it looks like this: almost all the "visible" initiative in your relationship (calls, decisive actions and "main words") belongs to the man. You, moderately capricious and demanding, through a complex scheme of interpersonal games and intricate tricks, the main fillers of which are tantalizing Refusal and alluring Promises, make a man tremble and hope. A very exciting, albeit rather nervous, lesson! And if you want to succeed and raise a real Roman on such shaky soil, turn on your self-control to the fullest: after all, it is very difficult to purr into the telephone receiver "honey, I'm busy today …" when you burn out with love and crave a meeting no less than, in fact, cute. It is also important here not to overdo it, not to "overplay", feeling all the mood swings of your man in time and subtly capturing the moments when an action or refusal of it will bring the most generous fruits. In a word, the role of the Elusive Lani is suitable for girls who simply adore tricky tasks and labyrinths … And they can cope with them with dignity.

However, in many women, the mere mention of "female tricks and intrigues" can provoke a gag reflex. And at the same time, and discourage the desire to acquire Big Love. They are accustomed to acting direct and honest, decisive, not "powdered", not veiled. “If I love a person, why play and pretend?” Reason the Resolute. And they are also right: sincerity in a relationship is the foundation of Big and Long Love.

They are also echoed by many psychologists, and some of the specialists, in general, are sure that today's men, "thanks" to the success of women, have driven this Hunter Instinct so deeply into themselves that they have already forgotten what, in fact, it is for. was given to them by Nature and how it is supposed to be managed. That is, without female initiative, without approval and explicit encouragement from a woman, a modern man rarely dares to take decisive action, including getting to know the girl he likes. This is where the Women's Initiative comes to the rescue.

So, it remains to be asked, what do men themselves think about the Women's Initiative in relationships? Here, too, everything is far from unambiguous: more often than not, at the mention of the phrase "initiative coming from a woman," a man breaks into a satisfied smile. Firstly, "since she initiated the relationship, it means that the responsibility for those lies with her …", this is how the man thinks.

And, secondly, which is important, thinking about a woman taking the initiative in regards to his precious person, a man imagines a mythical charming Barbie, and not at all an earthly, concrete girl who, quite possibly, will turn out to be inconceivably far from his lofty ideals.

This is probably why, when it comes to real cases of female decisiveness in relationships that somehow took place, many men (and among the twenty-seven I interviewed - all to one (!!!)), spoke one way or another, but AGAINST a woman initiating a relationship, and subsequently by them, and directly and "ruled without tricks." Moreover, the rationale for this categoricality were maxims, like "otherwise it will become uninteresting for me", "a woman who succumbed too quickly is like a book read" and other male philosophies of this kind. The meaning of which boiled down to the implementation in practice of the Hunter Instinct I have already mentioned more than once. And it is the DIRECT female initiative, persistence, (or even obsession) that, it turns out, prevents this very realization …)

In general, there is something to think about. Play and pretend? Or to spit on the tricks, without complicating their life, first of all for oneself, and take "the bull by the horns"? In order to get close to the truth, your opinion is necessary …