Women's fears

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

There are no absolutely fearless people, so no one is devoid of a sense of fear. Psychologists say that our brain sums up the accumulated experience and, in case of danger, instantly transmits an alarming signal: "Life and well-being are under threat!" For some, fear is so natural that it is perceived as part of one's own "I", while others are trying to get rid of it all their lives, but again they enter a vicious circle. According to all the same psychologists, women are more prone to fear. But maybe we are just not ashamed to talk about it?

Fear of being alone

You are afraid that you will not be able to be interesting to your man for a long time and he will find another. Even for a while, it's still scary. If you are still without a couple, then at some point you start to worry that you will be alone all your life. If fate has thrown you to another country, then you are afraid to be left without friends and girlfriends. And the most difficult case is when you have a loved one and good friends, but still the fear of being alone does not leave you. And it appears, if you are alone for a few hours.

Where does it come from. A person cannot be alone for long. People rarely feel comfortable when no one is around. But any psychotherapist will explain that this is a kind of deviation. And women, unlike men, first of all climb the wall if they are left alone. Without a couple and communication, we are like without air.

How to fight. The fear of being alone is unhealthy. Therefore, it is better to act than sit and be afraid. No man - boldly walk into a nightclub and meet new people. Yes - assess the situation. You can't deceive your heart, you should feel if he loves you. As soon as doubt has crept in, provoke the situation, see if he can do without you. In general, love yourself more, improve, and he will not go anywhere. And to make new acquaintances, you just need to see more good in people.

Fear of losing your job

You are afraid of even the slightest anger from the boss. When you complete tasks, you fussily grab onto everything and … you don't have time for anything. You want to prove to your boss that you are better than others, that you deserve to take this place, and maybe even a higher one. As a result, you stay in the office in the evenings, take work home for the weekend … And as a result - chronic fatigue syndrome, sleepless nights and depression, it's not far from a hospital bed.

Where does it come from. From experience. If you at least once in your life happened to sit at home, counting pennies and wondering where to find another part-time job, at least 100 rubles, then when you find a haven for your unrealized abilities, this fear will sit in you. And if we consider that we all come from childhood and, accordingly, for some time lived at the expense of our parents, then the fear of losing a job sits in almost everyone.

How to fight. It is not scary to lose your job only in two cases - if you know that at any moment you can move to another place, or if you are an unsurpassed professional in your field. Accordingly, in order to get rid of this fear, you need nothing at all: prepare a backup foothold or become a good specialist, then no one will think of dismissing you.

There is another way to gain a foothold in the workplace, though not entirely honest - to make sure that only you own some production secrets. Then you will literally become irreplaceable.

Fear of losing a child

You listen with horror (especially at night) to the child's breathing. It seems to you that he has stopped breathing. Leaving him with your husband or mom, you cannot safely go shopping. The imagination paints wild pictures of his fall, burns, suffocation. You are afraid to give this little bag into the hands of anyone, even your closest people.

Where does it come from. Many young mothers experience this fear especially strongly in the first months of their child's life. It is not in vain that nature endowed us with the instinct of motherhood, because the first years of life, the child is entirely dependent on you. It is this instinct that does not give us rest, day or night, and chilling stories about death in infancy only add to our experiences.

How to fight. Remember that you, too, were once a baby. And nothing, survived, like billions of other children. And mom and husband are not so stupid as not to protect their own baby. In addition, the older your child is, the less you will listen to his breathing. In most cases, the fear of losing a child diminishes as the child grows older.

Fear of childbirth

At the thought of a possible pregnancy, you break out in a cold sweat. In your memory, you collect stories about unsuccessful childbirth, you look with horror at strongly recovered young mothers. You are seriously thinking about taking a child from an orphanage, although you have no contraindications to give birth yourself.

Where does it come from. From women's stories and too naturalistic TV plots. Childbirth really does not look very aesthetically pleasing, and the screams that women emit at the same time suggest that it is also very painful and scary.

How to fight. Look around! Thousands of women, having safely given birth to their first children, have a second and third child. If everything was as awful as you think, they certainly would not give birth a second time. And you yourself were born somehow, so ask your mom if it's so scary. Most likely, she will dispel your fears, because the pain of labor is forgotten in a couple of hours. And in the first place comes your new destiny - motherhood. In addition, we all have different thresholds of sensitivity. And it is likely that the very stories that scared you the most were told by women in labor with a very high sensitivity. And it's not at all a fact that you have it the same.

Fear of old age

You haven't celebrated your birthday for a long time. Every day you scrutinize your face in search of new wrinkles. And if you do find them, then you have a prolonged depression. You perceive every day you live as another step towards death.

That is, you no longer just live, but mentally cross out the days on the calendar.

Where does it come from. The fear of growing old is derived from the fear of death, loneliness and disease. Examples of lonely old age are not uncommon, and you just try them on yourself. In addition, according to statistics, women live longer than men, so our chances of old age alone increase. The financial situation of pensioners in our country does not add optimism either. Seeing old women who are digging in the garbage, willy-nilly, you think about the unhappy future.

How to fight. First of all, not to think about what has not happened yet. It is not at all necessary that in old age you will be lonely and sick. Look at the energetic old ladies who are raising grandchildren, going to the pool, and even arranging their personal lives. I assure you, they are as happy as the young. Remember your childhood. At the age of seven, it seemed to you that twenty-five was already a deep old age. But when you nevertheless lived to such an "advanced" age, it turned out that it was not time for you to go to the cemetery. It is the same now. You think that life is over at fifty, and your 85-year-old grandmother attributes this age almost to her youth. Learn to see your charms in every age period.

Fear of cockroaches, spiders, mice, rats, snakes and other nasty things

Well, you're afraid of this nasty thing, that's all. As a child, it was a real nightmare - it was a great pleasure for disgusting classmates to put cockroaches in your portfolio or show you worms. With age, this fear did not pass. Even when you see such stuff on TV, you get covered with sticky sweat, and nasty goosebumps start running down your spine.

Where does it come from. Who knows? Maybe you were scared by something in childhood, for example, the same classmates who slipped a toad into a briefcase. Maybe your mother was afraid of this at one time, and the fear was passed on to you, and the fears instilled by your parents (albeit subconsciously) are very strong. Or maybe you're just being overly squeamish. Only a professional psychologist can determine this.

How to fight. The easiest way is not to fight your fear in any way, but simply to get the rats and cockroaches out of the house and not go to the terrarium. After all, in life we do not often have to deal with mice, unless, of course, you work in SES. But you can also try to overcome your fear.

For example, if you are afraid of snakes, then the best way to overcome yourself is, oddly enough, to have a snake at home, or at least a photo of him. Just remember: the pet must be fed, no matter how badly you treat it.

Fear of death

The fear of death is present in every normal person. Therefore, if you are simply afraid to jump from the sixteenth floor upside down, this is not unusual. But if you are afraid to go out of the house to the store, because a brick may fall on your head or a car accident may occur, then this is already a serious symptom.

Where does it come from. We are all afraid of the unknown. And no one knows what will happen to us after death. Therefore, fantasy draws you the most terrible pictures, and there is no one to refute them. After all, no one has yet returned from there. Although one of the modern philosophers said that "we are not afraid of death itself, we are afraid of ignorance, so if we know for sure that after death our awareness will not only remain the same, but also increase, then it becomes not at all scary to die" … This fear is also mixed with fear for family and friends (especially for children), who will have a hard time without you. Moreover, death, most likely, is an unpleasant and rather painful thing.

How to fight. If your fear is within reasonable limits, then you do not need to fight it. This is a normal instinct for self-preservation. But if it interferes with normal life, then you cannot do without the help of a specialist.

Fears do not give rest day or night, exhausting the already frayed nervous system. Naturally, the mental state also affects the physical well-being, which is why the next problems arise in everyday life, at work and in personal life. That is why, if your fear interferes with a fulfilling life, it is better to deal with it. And if you cannot do it yourself, then you should contact a specialist who can help you. And then a new world will open to you - a life without fear.