Which daughter-in-law does not love a mother-in-law

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

When you marry your beloved man, you “marry” his entire family, and especially his mother. No matter how far you live from your mother-in-law, rare encounters cannot be avoided, and much more depends on how they go than you might imagine. And what can we say about those families where the spouse's mother is a frequent visitor or a full-fledged resident? In this case, the daughter-in-law should be especially careful not to make typical mistakes, because of which fragile family happiness can collapse overnight.

Daughter-in-law's mistake # 1. "I am the mistress here"

Of course, two housewives in the same kitchen are a reason for conflicts, but it is not at all necessary to entrust your mother-in-law with all the pots and scoops to demonstrate that you listen to her opinion. It is enough to ask a couple of times advice on how to cook a particular dish, or to clarify how to get rid of limescale in the kettle, so that my husband's mother understands that you are not trying to force her out of the kitchen, hinting that she is no one here.

Daughter-in-law's mistake # 2. "My mom is better"

No one argues that for almost any daughter, her mother is the ideal woman and mistress who knows all women's secrets. But to prove to the mother-in-law with foam at the mouth that you need to do not the way she advises, and the way your mother taught you, is also not worth it. Even if the recommendations of the mother-in-law seem absurd, it is better to silently act on your own. In addition, in this way you unwittingly set your husband's mother against your own, and you can forget about peace in the family.

Two women and one man: For the newlywed, her mother-in-law, even under the most favorable circumstances, is a thundercloud hanging over her head, because she is the standard by which she is judged, the criterion of measures. And, it seems, she will never compare with this sample. So in a young wife, self-doubt is growing, and at the same time - a conflict situation, which entails the emergence of tensions between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law. Read more…

Daughter-in-law's mistake # 3. "Do not interfere with the upbringing of children"

Of course, the daughter-in-law can be offended if the mother-in-law begins to make comments to her and say that she does not know how to handle children at all, but you must admit that such a situation is more extreme than commonplace. Most of the grandmothers want to take part in raising their grandchildren without embarrassing their parents. Therefore, you should not stop all attempts of the mother-in-law to give you any advice regarding the child. In the end, she clearly has more experience than you - listen, maybe you really hear something sensible.

Daughter-in-law's mistake # 4. "You are to blame for all our problems."

If a young family lives with the man's mother, then the daughter-in-law begins to play a strange game - she is “friends” with her husband against her mother-in-law. The mother-in-law immediately becomes the cause of all the problems between the spouses, at least this is how the wife presents everything. Most often, this happens because of the woman's desire to finally be alone with her husband, but, as practice shows, even when left alone, the young do not stop quarreling. And all because the mother-in-law was not the true cause of conflicts, it was just that the girl felt comfortable thinking that way.

Daughter-in-law's mistake # 5. "I must help her in everything"

People do not like lazy people, but too intrusive helpers scare them too. Take, for example, this situation: you were forced to live in your husband's apartment with his parents. Wanting to show that you are economic and hardworking, you grab all household chores. Do you think your husband's mom will relax, sit in an armchair and watch with a smile as you go home? No, she will be alarmed by this behavior. She will decide that you are trying with all your might to impose your own rules and declare yourself as a new mistress. In this case, it is better to take advantage of the situation and help as needed.

Daughter-in-law's mistake # 6. "This is my new mom"

No matter how you call your mother-in-law - by name and patronymic or simply "mom", never forget that you already have a mom. At first glance, it may seem that there is nothing wrong with a kind and even tender relationship between a daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, but sooner or later such love will come back to haunt both of them not in the most pleasant way. The fact is that when we try on the image of another on one person, then we begin to relate to him accordingly. You yourself will not notice how the grievances hidden against your mother will emerge in your memory, but you will solve them with your mother-in-law. Therefore, never forget that mom is mom and mother-in-law is mother-in-law.

Daughter-in-law's mistake # 7. "I know better what he needs"

Any mother is sure that she is the ideal woman for her son. If only because she has known him since childhood. She was the one who healed all his colds and darned his shorts when he tore them, falling off his bike. Therefore, on the part of a daughter-in-law who has lived with a man for only a few years, it would be extremely imprudent to say that she knows her husband much better than her mother-in-law. No mom would ever agree with that. So why shake the air in vain and inflame the situation?

To avoid problems in relations with the mother-in-law, she must first of all be respected. Well, and to live separately, of course. In general, a lot of quarrels between the husband's mother and daughter-in-law arise from scratch only because two women are trying to prove to each other who the mistress really is. That is why it is so important for a young family to have their own nest and periodically invite their parents there. It is then that you can demonstrate thrift and culinary talents, and if you live together, such a demonstration, most likely, will not lead to any good.

How to end a fight quickly: It is always worth remembering communication skills to resolve relationship conflicts. There are always many ways to gently end a fight - you must admit, this is better than getting the conflict out of control. When a conflict is in full swing, there are two things to keep in mind: the topic of the argument and the feeling of anger. We invite you to find out how to end a quarrel correctly before either of you says something that will completely ruin everything. Read more…