Why is a mistress better than a wife?

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

from the song by A. Apina

Since ancient times, people have divided all women into two categories - wives and mistresses. And everything probably went from the ancient Greeks.

Have you heard about the beautiful Thais of Athens, the greatest hetaira, with whom Alexander the Great himself was in love?

And now we ask ourselves the question: why is a mistress better than a wife? The Greeks were the first to divide us all into two halves. On mothers - women, whose … not a vocation, no, it was rather a duty to give birth and raise children, to protect the hearth, to be a silent life companion (mind you, not even a friend!) To your spouse. And heterosexuals - charming nymphs, ideal mistresses, graduated from a special school; women, whose duty was not only to give pleasure and pleasure (of various kinds, both physical and spiritual) to men, but also to be a muse for poets, artists, sculptors; women who embodied life itself.

This division has survived to this day.

And it's not clear what it is based on?

Why even today, in the age of all-round progress, information technology and feminism, we women, in spite of ourselves, continue to divide each other into wives and mistresses, creating two castes in which each member of one looks with contempt in his eyes at a member of the other, in secretly dreaming of swapping places with him.

Where does this paradox come from?

I will make a reservation right away that here and below the terms "wife" and "mistress" do not necessarily correspond to what you are used to understanding by them. A representative of the subspecies of mistresses may well have a successful husband and three children, and, conversely, the wife may be indecently lonely. By these terms, I mean inner thinking, personality psychotype, as well as a certain social niche.

Modern mistresses

differ little from the mistresses of antiquity. Unless they have more opportunities. Well, there were no gyms with personal instructors, solariums and jacuzzis, computers and the Internet in ancient Greece. But, nevertheless, impeccable appearance and intellect remain the main weapon of both ancient Greek getters or Japanese geishas and modern mistresses.

With enviable persistence, they pump their muscles, buy up newfangled collections of clothes, dye their hair in unthinkable shades. In short, they put pressure on male instincts (it should be noted that female animals do the same - the brighter, fluffier and hotter you are, the more chances you have to find a partner). Moreover, modern mistresses are very smart!

They are successfully moving up the career ladder (apparently throwing all the energy that they could not use for their intended purpose), reading Bach and Coelho, driving a car with one hand and boldly rushing into battle with modern technology. Some, especially gifted specimens, can even distinguish Figo from Zidane, and a pit stop from a peiskar.

Modern wives …

You know, thanks to psychologists who have finally solved the mystery of male infidelity, modern wives, of course, have succeeded in the science of seducing husbands. A housewife in a faded robe, with a mask of cucumbers (which remained after conservation) on her face, curlers in her hair and a rolling pin in her hand, has sunk into history - this is an ideal monument to the pre-feminist era! It is extremely rare now to find this vestige of the past, except perhaps on the pages of manuals by those very psychologists. Modern housewives put on comfortable trousers and tops, they trust the TV, buy quick-acting masks and creams, wash their hair with salon shampoos (sincerely believing that such a shampoo will more than replace a visit to the salon) and style them with a hairdryer with a nozzle made of vibrating fingers. If a wife works, unfortunately, she will not reach such heights that a mistress can achieve (and, surely, where can they get such energy reserves!). But the wife knows exactly how to treat diathesis, wean the child from biting his nails, with closed eyes she can cook ossobuco with zucchini zucchini or, even better, a leg of lamb under lavender sauce with a garnish of fried tomatoes, and will never confuse celery with parsley, and a ham with brisket.

Here is one example of why a mistress is better than a wife: Have you ever observed the behavior of your wife and mistress at a party? As they say in Odessa, these are two big differences!

To begin with, striking differences are observed already at the invitation stage. The first question that your mistress will ask you if you invite her, say, to your birthday: "Who will be?" And this is understandable. She needs to know for sure the categories of men and rivals present at the holiday in order to take the most suitable image for the occasion, in order to be out of competition.

By the way, if wives see rivals, both in the face of mistresses and in the face of wives, then mistresses compete only with their own kind!

The wife will immediately take an interest in what you are going to cook for the festive table, and what you are going to wear, so that your persona in no way distracts attention from you (unlike mistresses, wives follow the rules of etiquette very carefully). Continuing the conversation, she will present you with a couple of unusual recipes (prepare a notebook and a pen, it will come in handy!) And teach you how to choose products.

There are differences when choosing a gift. Your wife will no doubt give you something practical: a new frying pan, a book on delicious and healthy food, or a mat for drying your feet. On occasion, you can safely make her exactly the same reciprocal gift - the wife always buys what she lacks most at the moment. The mistress, on the contrary, will choose some trifle: a soft toy, a set of bells or a scarer of ghosts and brownies. And do not try to give her the same, she already has three of them!

Observe how both representatives behave, barely stepping over the threshold. The mistress, screeching and dancing, flies into the room, instantly meeting everyone, and shouting over the music, she wonders if there will be tequila and Vasya. The wife slips into the kitchen, looks into the oven, the refrigerator, and then into all the pans and showered you with hundreds of useful tips. And do not forget to introduce her to the guests - she will not have time for checking the roast and putting the salads.

At the party itself, wives and mistresses rarely stick together. While the former are washing the bones of the Jose Ignacio parasite and lamenting the rise in shrimp prices, the latter are belly dancing and admiring Lagerfeld's latest collection. And at the end of the holiday, the wives will help you wash the dishes, and the mistresses will get rid of the stuck guests by taking them with them to the nightclub.

At the very beginning of the article, I mentioned that both wives and mistresses secretly dream of changing roles. I do not know why they suddenly want it so much, but they hide it exactly because they are sure that they will immediately want to come back.

Oh, trouble to the husband who would think of marrying his mistress! His life will turn into a series of empty wallets, yoga classes, not seasoned salads and burnt meat (the only dish that she will be able to master). The only joy of such a marriage can be considered the fact that a mistress who has become a wife will always be gorgeous, and every day she will meet her husband in a frivolous negligee on the bed.

The main thing is that the husband, when he comes home from work, first of all checks the closets - unfortunately, one man is rarely enough for mistresses. But such a husband can take his wife as his mistress! Instead of traditional sex, she will feed him delicious meals, massage his shoulders and listen with an open mouth to any nonsense that comes into his head.

And so, answering the question: why is a mistress better than a wife, we came to the conclusion - wives, mistresses … No matter how different they are from each other, they are still very similar. Each of them wants to find their place under the sun, to realize themselves the way they think is right. Therefore, both the first and the second have the right to exist. Therefore, let's not sculpt templates and stigmatize the innocent, who happened to be on the opposite side. After all, no matter how difficult the road is, the stars always turn out to be farther than it seems.