A positive outlook: how to stop complaining about life

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Surely everyone is pretty annoyed by colleagues at work, girlfriends and just acquaintances who consider it their duty to pour out a portion of negativity on us in the form of complaints about their hard lot. We sincerely hope that someday they will stop whining, but nevertheless we ourselves repeat the same mistake: as soon as failures overtake us, we immediately look for a "vest" in which to cry. And sometimes the reasons for dissatisfaction turn out to be trifling - we did not manage to go to the cinema for the expected film, the store did not have the required dress size, the plans for the day had to be slightly adjusted, etc. No matter what nonsense upset us, we still continue to complain, sowing negative around itself.

Have you ever thought that if each of us stopped complaining about unresolved (sometimes even non-existent) problems at least for a day, then life would become much easier? Of course, no one argues with the need to talk about their own worries and not hush up their experiences, but it is one thing to talk about them in order to find a way out of a difficult situation, and quite another - just to complain, to find "ears" that, without wanting to, will share with you problems that do not concern them at all.

Where do whiners come from? happened or contrived troubles?

Why do we complain

Growing up, we are still looking for someone who will relieve us of the difficulties that arise, so we share them with others.

1. We are infantile. Complaints are the lot of the child. Children do not even try to hide their emotions and, almost everything does not happen the way they want, they start crying, hysterical and demand attention from their parents. Whiners, whose glass is half empty, behave in the same way - instead of overcoming difficulties, they prefer to tell the world about them and get a portion of sympathy.

2. We are afraid of responsibility. This reason follows from the previous one. Children are not responsible for what happens to them, and the emerging problems are solved by the parents. Growing up, we are still looking for someone who will relieve us of the difficulties that arise, so we share them with others.

3. We miss. When life seems insipid and devoid of bright colors, we try to diversify it somehow. If you can't (or don't want to) do it in the usual way - to do an interesting job, visit theaters, exhibitions, we arrange a "storm in a glass". Feeling that we are in the center of events, we deceive ourselves into thinking that life is becoming more fun.

4. We don't believe in success. People who are pre-determined to fail do not even try to put in the effort and achieve a good result. It is much easier for them to say that "everything is bad, nothing will work out, you shouldn't even try, everything is bought, there is a complete blat around."

How to stop complaining

Do not think that, just once following our advice, you will instantly turn from a gloomy person into an optimist with a wide smile and an open soul. Working on your way of thinking and attitudes towards life is painstaking and difficult, you need to constantly monitor what you think and say. But, to be honest, re-educating your inner whiner day by day, you can achieve real success.

As soon as you realize that only yourself are responsible for what is happening, you will slowly start complaining.

1. Stop looking for the culprit. We often complain about troubles because we consider everyone to be guilty, but not us. It is very easy to shift responsibility to your boss, colleagues, friends, bystanders, or even the government. But as soon as you realize that only yourself are responsible for what is happening, you will slowly start complaining. And, what is important, there will be confidence in your own strengths and in the fact that you can influence the situation.

2. Count to ten. As soon as the next moment comes when you want to pour out a portion of negativity on your neighbor, stop and count to ten. And then think about what the next complaint will give you? Will you find support and speak out, or will you again stumble upon an indifferent “Well, you must” and consolidate your opinion of yourself as an eternally aching person? Is it worth it again to do something that does not benefit you in any way?

3. Live by the problem-solution principle. Remove the “complaint” link from this chain. If a difficulty arises in life, immediately start thinking about how to overcome it. Reassure yourself that the complaint is a waste of time. It is better to make an effort on yourself and then enjoy the fact that you have solved the problem than it is useless to experience the fact of its existence.

4. Learn to notice the beautiful. The life of a person who constantly complains, at least from the outside, resembles a gloomy forest. Most likely, this is how the “hero of the occasion” himself sees her. Therefore, it is very important to notice the wonderful moments in the world around you. Now, by the way, is a very opportune time: the upcoming holidays are the best way to set you up for a positive mood.

5. Block out other complainers. Try to minimize your interactions with people who regularly tell you about their failures. Surround yourself with those who are positive and light on life. No wonder they say: like attracts like.