What to do if you become the subject of gossip

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Even if we do not consider ourselves to be gossips, we still no, no, and we will discuss some of our acquaintances with a friend. Colleagues and mutual friends often become objects for gossip, and sometimes we talk about those whom we have not even seen in the eyes: it is enough just to hear an interesting spicy detail of someone's life, and that's it - we are "carried". As a rule, we do not think about whether this detail is true. However, the attitude towards such conversations changes when we ourselves become the object of gossip that has nothing to do with reality.

It’s unpleasant to know that someone is spreading false rumors about us behind our backs. And if truthful information, which we would really like to hide, suddenly becomes known to a wide range of people, we feel as if we are “naked”, unprotected and betrayed. Everyone decides for himself how to behave in such a situation.

Some even stir up interest in their own person. Psychologists call this type of personality demonstrative. Constantly being in the spotlight is the most important thing for them. In this way, people receive confirmation that their life is not boring.

We just need to learn how to get out of such situations with the least emotional loss.

However, lovers of gossip “about them loved ones” are much less than those who are very worried about slander in their address. Upon learning that someone is spreading false rumors about their personal life, they begin to look for the guilty ones, feel anger, anger, aggression, delve into themselves and dwell on their own shortcomings. In the minds of most people who have become the object of gossip, two thoughts are spinning: "Who could say such a thing about me?" and "What if everyone else will believe in these nasty things and stop communicating with me?" Such a state can lead to a nervous breakdown, which ultimately will have a very negative effect on the psychoemotional and physical health of a person. We just need to learn how to get out of such situations with the least mental loss, so that someone's inaccurately thrown words do not become a reason for taking sedatives and consulting a doctor.

So, if you saw that those around you abruptly become silent when you enter the room, and then found out why this is happening, then you should not lock yourself in or, on the contrary, brandish a sword, looking for the guilty. Do smarter. And how exactly, our advice will tell you.

Don't do public debriefing

The best way to show an insidious gossip that he has achieved what he wants is to show aggression and begin to publicly find out who dared to say such nonsense about you and why he did it. Of course, you want to know who you "annoyed" so much, but it is more correct to act differently. If you, furious, rush into the office where your colleagues are sitting, and literally rush at everyone, pressing them against the wall, and, growling, ask: "Is that you?", Then you will achieve nothing but a new wave of gossip. Believe me, now you will become a hysterical woman who, most likely, has something to hide. Otherwise, why so sharply react to the "harmless", in the opinion of the gossip, the news told by him to those around him?

Of course, you want to know who you "annoyed" so much, but it is more correct to act differently.

Conversation with a gossip

If you know exactly who spreads false rumors about you, and you just need to find out why he is doing it, we still advise you not to talk to the gossip lover in private. Let there be witnesses around, but in this situation you will behave extremely calmly and with restraint. As we said, the main thing is not to show how much the very fact of gossip has hurt you. Surprisingly, sometimes people do not even know that they are hurting someone. Perhaps this is your case. Ask the "hero of the occasion" where he got this information, what exactly he meant when he said certain things about you. And in any case do not make excuses. The victim's attitude will only aggravate the situation. Be confident in yourself, let both others and the gossip himself see it. As a rule, this behavior is confusing.

Don't react

If you have no desire to find out who is spreading rumors, or you perfectly know the name of this person, but understand that no amount of talk will improve the situation, then the most correct solution to the problem would be complete ignorance. Answer the questions of the curious with a smile and try to translate the topic, do not show that something bothers you, do not gossip in return. The absence of any reaction on your part, in the end, will lead to the fact that the instigator will lose all interest and switch to another “victim”.

Make it a joke

Another way to discourage gossip about you and stop the spread of existing rumors is to translate them into a joke. The ability to laugh at oneself is very annoying for those who are literally "fueled" by human anger and aggression.

If you are not afraid for some time to independently support the rumors circulating around your person, then boldly ironic about what they say about you.

99.9% certainty is not enough

If you are not entirely sure that the gossip spread about you is a complete lie, then it is better not to start a showdown. Of course, you think that you already know absolutely everything about yourself, but believe me: sometimes some nuances elude even the most attentive glance. You might have said something in the heat or done something when you were tipsy. Therefore, first make sure that there is not a drop of truth in the rumors about you, and only then “go into battle”. In this case, a 99.9% probability is not appropriate. All you need is 100% certainty.