Him and Best Friend: How to Survive a Double Betrayal

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

“How could you, my friend? I don’t have any closer than you”, - the famous pop group“Strelki”sang. Their song "At the Party" is a hymn of women who have become victims of double betrayal - betrayal of a loved one with their best friend. Thousands of deceived girls cried, listening to the sad lines of the hit of the 90s, and thought that they would never believe either men or pseudo-friends again. Today, in the 2000s, we no longer “play on repeat” a sensational composition, but the pain we feel because of the double betrayal, alas, has not become weaker.

It's even scary to imagine: you share your joys and sorrows with her, talk about all the troubles in your relationship with your beloved and expect that if you suddenly part with your beloved, then she will support you - the best, closest and most understanding friend. But suddenly it happens that there is no one even to listen to you: he left, but he went to her. Not only does the deceived woman feel as if she was left completely alone in the whole wide world, plus she cannot understand in any way - why did two dear people act so mean and mean? How could he cheat on her with a friend, and, most importantly, how did a friend dare to take away the most important thing from her - her love? Questions torment, there are no answers, and faith in human sincerity is gradually disappearing, making room for cynicism, alertness and isolation in oneself. We understand that if you are now in a similar situation, then no "everything will be fine" will not change your attitude in an instant. Most likely, you think that you will never open your heart to anyone again, and you will drive so-called girlfriends in three necks. But let's at least try to look at the situation from a different angle. Who knows, maybe you will finally decide to stop "sour" within four walls and, leaving behind the negative experience, go to meet new relationships.

Avoid meetings

At least at first, when your psyche has not yet gotten stronger, you should not date either your friend or your ex. Most likely, you will not want to do this in a year or even five years, but now you absolutely do not need to see them both separately, and - even more so - together. Try not to visit places where you have been three or two. Believe me, even if you think something like this: “Now what do I need to leave the country because of these traitors? Wherever I want, I go there”, you will still be very painful when you see those whom you considered close people for so long and who overnight destroyed this illusion with their betrayal.

At first, when your psyche is not yet strong, you should not date either your girlfriend or your ex.

Communicate

Switch your attention to other girlfriends (not all of them are bitches, the latter, fortunately, a minority), colleagues, relatives, new acquaintances. Firstly, now you absolutely cannot be left alone, and secondly, you must not once and for all lose faith in human sincerity and kindness. There are probably so many wonderful people around you who are ready to help, to be there in difficult times, and it is still wrong to push them away because of the mean act of the two traitors. If now you withdraw into yourself and build a wall between yourself and those around you, you risk remaining an unsociable old maid for the rest of your life.

Treat it like a lesson

Not a single person in our life and not a single situation is given to us just like that. Absolutely all people teach us something, teach us the lessons that we must learn. In your situation, too, it will be correct to look at what happened as a "snap on the nose." First, you shouldn't tell your friend absolutely everything about your relationship with your beloved. First, having described his positive qualities, and then having told about conflicts and scandals, you, unwillingly, seem to say: “Look, how ideal he is, just a dream. But we are not doing well, so you have a chance. " Of course, only a few will admit the thought of taking a man away from you, but it's worth playing it safe. And, secondly, try too often not to create conditions when the three of you spend time, do not accustom your loved one and your friend to this. One day you risk seeing the surprised look of a man and hearing the question: "Where is Masha, why is she not with us?"

You should not tell your friend absolutely everything about your relationship with your beloved.

Try to forgive and let go

It is difficult and not for everyone, but those who find the strength to let go of the situation and mentally forgive traitors become truly happy people. No, we are not talking about the fact that you must resignedly substitute one cheek after another under the blows of fate, repeating monotonously: "I forgive you, I forgive you." The point is to understand: everyone stumbles, and some do it in such a way that others feel nauseous and painful, but this is not a reason to cherish the pain that has appeared, savor the details of what happened and somewhere deep in their souls hope for retribution. It would be more correct to free the soul from negative emotions and start moving forward without unnecessary burden.

If you feel that you cannot cope with the pain that your loved ones have caused you, do not hesitate to contact a psychologist. Sometimes only a specialist can help to get out of a depression that is sucking in like a swamp.