I stopped loving my wife - what to do and how not to offend her

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Is the former passion no longer in family relationships? This is a very common occurrence. Everyday life absorbs all the good that was, the feelings of a man in relation to his life partner grow cold, he is visited by the thoughts "I have stopped loving my wife", "I need another woman." For those who find themselves in a similar situation and do not know what to do, the advice of psychologists will be useful.

Signs of an extinct love

According to psychologists, the absence of feelings cannot be hidden. A man's behavior is fundamentally changing. This is evidenced by many things, for example:

• the husband no longer wants to share his experiences or, on the contrary, successes with his wife. He does not need her empathy, he, in principle, is not interested in her opinion;
• often reproaches a woman for everything, even accuses that of which she is completely innocent;
• avoids intimacy with her, constantly coming up with excuses, just not to be alone;
• does not say affectionate words, is not interested in how her day went, does not call again and does not show signs of attention;
• the spouses no longer have common topics of conversation, they do not go anywhere together;
• a man ignores a woman's requests when she asks for help in something, or is involved, but is reluctant;
• does not answer her calls and rarely calls back himself;
• the word "we" no longer appears in his vocabulary;
• frequent quarrels and showdowns between them.

All this suggests that family life is bursting at the seams. If a man asks the question “I have stopped loving my wife, what to do,” then the ideal solution to the problem is to visit a family psychologist and try to understand everything in detail. Perhaps not all is lost, and it will be possible to revive the former tenderness, passion and love. Otherwise, in order not to torment each other, it would be more correct to part, giving the opportunity for herself and her to build a new relationship.

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Divorce

When both understand that it is impossible to save the marriage, it is reasonable to divorce peacefully, especially if the family has children. In order to avoid further conflicts, it is worth discussing the division of property with your spouse in advance. In this case, you do not have to go through an unpleasant court procedure.

But the decision to divorce is advisable in the case when a man is one hundred percent sure that former feelings for his wife cannot be revived, that it is not a matter of routine and elementary fatigue.

Everything is much more complicated and simpler at the same time, when, at the time of a breakdown in relations, a man suddenly realizes that he has fallen out of love with his wife during pregnancy, and the birth of a child was a mutual decision. In this case, a decent man will not leave a woman alone. He will wait for the baby to be born and will stay in the family for some time. Often, such moments bring them together so much that thoughts of divorce go away, peace reigns in the family.

It also happens that even the “interesting position” of the spouse cannot change anything. Then you need to talk to her and convince her that she is not alone and can still count on support from him. Divorce should not affect children in any way, simply because they are not ex.

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If a man is overcome by the thought “I stopped loving my wife after giving birth,” in order to understand what this is connected with, it is important to pay attention to a number of facts:

• the spouse gained weight;
• her character has changed;
• she spends less time with her husband;
• is in a nervous, if not depressed state.

Naturally, a man cannot stand all this, it is difficult for him to get used to the fact that little is left of the usual way of life.

Before chopping off the shoulder, you need to support your soulmate, get into her position, because postpartum depression is a serious matter. Changes in hormonal levels affect the psychological state of a woman. Instead of reproaching her, it would be nice to take on some of the responsibilities. You look, and the relationship will be the same.

Coldness and alienation: reasons

Detachment from each other does not happen just like that, there are certain reasons. If a man admits: “I stopped loving my wife” and asks for the advice of a psychologist, he will find out the reason during the conversation.

Most often there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for this, for example:

• the wife has ceased to pay attention to her spouse, does not cook, does not lead her life properly;
• stopped caring for herself;
• most of his free time is devoted to communication on social networks;
• looking for all sorts of excuses, just not to go anywhere together.

All this sooner or later results in a conflict and a showdown.

The situation will not go to extremes if you sit down and talk calmly. There is no need to be afraid to voice to each other what specifically does not suit you, and to find common ground, or at least try to do it.

It is somewhat more difficult if the representative of the stronger sex is tormented by the thoughts "I stopped loving my wife and fell in love with another." If she is free and has similar feelings towards a man, and the romance lasts for a long time, then this is one thing. And it is quite different if a woman is married, happy in marriage and is not going to change anything at all. It is quite possible that falling in love is just a figment of the imagination, a fleeting infatuation and nothing more.

In the first case, having weighed all the pros and cons, it makes sense to build new relationships and become happy. In the second, take off your rose-colored glasses and, instead of looking for flaws in your spouse, understand yourself.

It is quite possible that the problem is not in the wife, but in the man himself, who cannot understand what he wants. Instead of expressing dissatisfaction with everyone, you need to arrange a family outing into nature, to the cinema, to a concert, or just walk around the city, looking into a cozy cafe.

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Feelings have passed: how to tell my wife about it so as not to offend

Situations are different. If you have fallen out of love with your wife, but you respect immensely, thoughts always come to you: "what to do, how to confess, so as not to offend her." Living together under the same roof and pretending everything is good all the time is not the best option. Women very subtly feel the cold in their direction and will definitely notice the falsity in the relationship.

Provided that the man is sure that he has no love left for his wife, of course, it is worth talking to her heart-to-heart and honestly tell about everything. And not to blame, but on the contrary, to make it clear that it was not her fault, it just happened. And, in order not to waste precious time, give her freedom. After all, it is quite possible that she will find her happiness with someone else, with someone who will be able to make her happy.

Outcomes

1. It is not uncommon for a husband to fall out of love with his wife. But sometimes a man is simply confused and cannot sort out his feelings himself. In order not to spoil everything with your own hands, the first step is to understand what is the reason for the breakdown in relations. Perhaps he was tired of seeing her unkempt, haggard, or detached. Perhaps you can still fix it, you just need to unload the wife, give the opportunity to rest and recover.
2. If the matter is in another woman, everything is serious there and there are no obstacles to the development of relations, then it makes sense to frankly confess everything to his wife and part peacefully, thereby giving her the opportunity to establish her personal life with someone else.
3. When parting with a wife who is in a position or has just given birth, it is important to make her understand that she is not alone and can still count on all kinds of support.
4. Psychologists advise: before you destroy a marriage, you need to try to mend relationships. In most cases, all that is needed for this is the ability to hear each other and make compromises.