What to do if you get bored in a relationship

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

"Love him! I can't imagine life without him, but we are so bored together. And not that it was like this before. I just realized at some point that there was nothing to even talk about. Advise what to do? " - such messages can often be found on forums dedicated to the relationship between a man and a woman. Indeed, even the happiest and strongest couple is not immune from periods of recession, when spending time together is reduced to sitting at computers (each at his own) and indifferent: "How are you at work?" But this does not mean at all that people who find themselves in a similar situation must certainly scatter, put an end to further relationships and look for happiness somewhere else. To begin with, you should at least try to breathe life into a frozen connection and make it brighter.

For some reason, most of the "advisers" on the same forums answer that if there is even a little boredom in a relationship, they must be ended immediately. Leave for a while, leave for good - as if only in this modern people see the solution to the problem. Our grandmothers and mothers usually respond to such remarks: "Before, everything was repaired, but now they prefer to buy a new one right away." And there is some truth in this - is it really necessary to flee from the ship at the first difficulties? Why not try to overcome them together with your loved one, thereby making the relationship even stronger and more trusting? The main thing is to remember that only joint efforts can lead to a positive result: if only one flounders, and the other sits and waits until these flounders lead to something, then absolutely nothing will come of it.

Talk to your partner

Start by vocalizing your feelings. It sounds strange, but this also happens: one person does not find a place for himself from the feeling that something is going wrong, while the other does not notice anything of the kind. By talking, you will kill two birds with one stone: tell your loved one about doubts and fears and find out if he feels that the relationship has become insipid. Boredom indicates that you are not meeting some of your needs in a relationship. It is not enough just to be aware of them, you need to talk about your needs without forcing your partner to guess about your hidden desires. In addition, you should also understand that interest in the needs of a loved one is an important part of a harmonious and not boring relationship.

Become interesting to yourself

Psychologists are confident that a self-sufficient person who is not bored with himself is much more likely to be interesting to others than someone who expects others to entertain him. Do something interesting, like a hobby. Feel that you are able to enjoy every day, regardless of whether you have had a long heart-to-heart conversation with your loved one or not.

You yourself will not notice how, having become interesting for yourself, arouse a keen interest in your partner: a girl with glowing eyes with passion and enthusiastically talking about what dance moves she has learned today will involuntarily attract the attention of her man.

Change together

And change the environment around you, but also together. Nothing helps breathe life into a boring relationship like a change two have started side-by-side with each other. Stop going to your usual restaurant: let them cook deliciously, but you try the cuisine of another institution, and then either be glad that you discovered something new, or spit and return to the trusted place. Or arrange a rearrangement, but do not quarrel, try to listen to each other's opinions. Well, and, finally, if money and time allow - give up on vacation. Do not go to Greece for the third time in a row, it is better to visit a country that you have never been to, say, Austria or China. The main principle is to comprehend new things together, share your impressions, be surprised and enjoy the moments of unity.

Don't skimp on surprises

Start taking your first steps by leaving a cute note in his jacket pocket or by sending a romantic text message when he's not expecting it at all. Another good option is heart-shaped scrambled eggs for breakfast. Sugary and childish, you say? But remember the time when you were good with each other and, most importantly, not bored. Surely then you were just starting out and behaved like children. So why not revive this wonderful period of your relationship?

Don't ignore his interests

We talked about this earlier, but now we will analyze this item in more detail. Let's say your man is a cycling fan. The whole weekend he rides around the city, calling with him, and you keep refusing, wondering then that you have absolutely nothing in common. So why not try it out with him just once? You may not like it, but at least each of you will know that you tried. It is very important for a man to understand that there is reliable support and support in the person of his beloved woman nearby.

In most cases, when the relationship gets boring, you should pay attention to yourself first. We are ready to blame our partner, but in fact it was not he who changed, it was our expectations and desires that changed. We mentally live in the "candy-bouquet period", while in the yard there is a stage of more serious and mature relations. Look at the situation sensibly, analyze what is happening to you, and take steps towards your beloved - do not expect that he will do everything for you.