6 important rules for keeping your family together

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

It is not easy to maintain harmonious relations in the family, but if there is a desire, there are no barriers. Maria Wyss, the practice of harmonious family life, shared with Kleo readers about the important rules that should be observed by all couples.

Rule No. 1. Existence of common interests

For me, discord in the family is not necessarily scandals, clarification of relationships, resentment, conflicts. But the very fact that people begin to live by their own interests and stop looking for common ground is, in fact, discord.

Then people will accumulate even more claims for themselves, for each other, then it will grow into criticism, open conflicts and even hatred.

Rule # 2. Freedom in relationships

I am often asked whether it is worth giving a man freedom of action in a relationship, allowing him to come back late, and often meeting friends. The very formulation of the question is initially devoid of awareness. It comes from self-centeredness, when a person gives some kind of permission, controls the time, the schedule of another person. This is absolutely wrong.

I think this: marriage is not a golden cage, and each partner can do whatever he wants. And many people here understand that if I let him do everything now, then, of course, he will immediately begin to behave negatively. Will begin to cheat on you, come late, ignore you.

This is initially a misunderstanding. Why should a person behave this way when you give him freedom? Of course not.

If you have love, intimacy, desire to work on the relationship in your relationship, if you have drive and command, when you give a person freedom, he will not come back late. He will not spend time with friends all the time, and he will not neglect your values, your interests, and your needs. It will be very important for him how you feel and what level your relationship is at.

Yes, it is very important to allow a person to realize their own values. For example, going to football, fishing, and so on.

Understand that the closer, more harmonious and tender your relationship is, the more a man will strive to stay inside this relationship - with you. Therefore, I urge women not to tie the freedom of men and permissiveness together.

Rule # 3. Understanding

I am often asked the question of how to attract the attention of my husband? It is not difficult: to love, not to criticize and not to limit his freedom.

To learn this there is a social project "Pies". It costs like two cups of coffee. Payment is needed to emphasize the responsibility of the person.

As part of the program, for 20 days, I give an assignment in which we learn to understand a man. And indeed we return to those origins when we were purring ladies, admiringly looking into the eyes of their man.

As at the very beginning of the relationship, when everything was still cool, there were no these family problems, everyday life, quarrels.

I also always recommend watching the cool movie "Refractory". Based on the tape, I created these "Pies". The mission of the training is to learn to love again and to give this love disinterestedly.

Rule # 4. Omissions

I believe that there are ideal families in which there is a very deep level of understanding of each other's needs and requirements. It is important. For example, my husband and I struggled for a very long time, because we could not understand our needs.

As it turned out, my main need is security. She comes from childhood and my upbringing. So I tried to implement it in order to become successful and thereby protect myself.

When my husband understood my need, we immediately understood. Then I heard his need. As a result, we began to rapidly converge.

But, even in families with high awareness there are moments of misunderstanding. It cannot be completely calm. Lack of waves and emotions is boring.

Disagreements occur. At the same time, they are not as destructive as quarrels in ordinary families, where the offense lasts for several days, or even years. But there are really a lot of such pairs …

Personally, our grievances with my husband can last 10 minutes, maximum an hour. Then, anyway, someone goes to rapprochement. We understand that we do not want to waste time and precious moments of life on quarrels.

Rule No. 5. Awareness of responsibility

Where do you start preserving and strengthening your marriage? Well, of course, with an understanding of the needs of your partner.

I was at one training session where an interesting dialogue took place between a woman and a coach.

W: "We've lost contact."

T: "We or You"?

W: "No, not me, but we."

T: "With this 'We' you immediately shift the responsibility onto another person."

T: "What was the reason for the loss?"

W: “I was bored in this relationship. We really just coexisted in the same space."

T: "Were you bored or were you boring?"

W: “I ?? No, I'm not boring!"

T: “You were boring! You didn't want to connect! You didn't want to look for common ground with your husband. And so your marriage fell apart."

And someone will say now: “Well, I am always guilty …” And I can tell you that only you are responsible for your life.

If you don't like the relationship, you can wait indefinitely from your partner for the first step. At the same time, your life is spent in unhappy relationships, in very low awareness, in conflicts, in the absence of money, satisfaction from life, fulfillment, awareness … your life.

The fact that he passes in the same emotions is his problem. But the fact that you spend your life on this is only your responsibility.

I talk about this in my online school. This is my flagship school for restoring femininity and forging a truly magical, intimate, meaningful relationship with my partner.

Rule # 6. Hobbies and freedom again

In my family, both I and my husband are free. It is important for me once a year, and sometimes even two, to go somewhere alone. Just travel. It could be some kind of culinary school in the Chinese province, the study of Thai cuisine in Bangkok, etc. The husband understands this importance and appreciates it.

The husband also has desires and hobbies. For example, he received a pilot's license in Europe. I spent a lot of time and money on this. He traveled regularly throughout the year to Europe, spending a week there every month, paying little attention to me and the children.

I understood that it was important for him. And I certainly would not want the person who would clip his wings.

When I give freedom to my husband, I understand perfectly well that he will not cheat on me. He just doesn't need it. Point. This is because our relationship is on a completely different level of awareness.