Forming the correct attitude of the child towards school grades

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Our children do not always bring "four" and "five" in their diaries. Sometimes there are “bad ones”, which entail scandals, children's nervousness and a desire to bring an A in the diary next time at all costs. In such a pursuit of subjective numbers, the main meaning of study is lost - the acquisition of knowledge. Is it worth killing yourself for bad grades and punishing your child? Perhaps it would be more correct to change tactics?

It is enough to remember your school years, and an image immediately appears in your head: a student literally begging for a good grade from the teacher and explaining this by the fact that his parents will “kill” him at home. We uttered such a terrible word very often, meaning that we would be severely punished, not allowed to go for a walk, and forced to study and study for days on end, just to correct a bad grade. We chased fives and fours, but only in order not to anger our parents or wipe the nose of arrogant classmates. Today, as adults, we got a unique chance to finally learn the correct attitude to subjective symbols and teach our children to do this.

Are grades important?

Of course, grades are an indicator of how a child learned a particular lesson, but the point is that absolutely any grade is subjective. The child could get overly worried and get "three", although he prepared for "five". We are seriously mistaken when we believe that grades are an indicator of a child's success, and even more seriously when we build our relationship with a daughter or son on the basis of subjective numbers. The child gains confidence that his marks are the only way to earn affection and respect in the family. Is it any wonder, then, that the desire to acquire good knowledge fades into the background? Not at all. The main goal of training is the love of parents, which, in fact, should not depend on such things.

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We, adult uncles and aunts, also have to learn and learn. And first of all it is worth clarifying one truth: the assessment is nothing more than an abstract sign."

Calm, only calm

Of course, we want an ideal future for our child and for some reason we are sure that if we ignore the “two” at least once, he will “score” on his studies. But the problem is not solved by excommunication from the TV and computer. To begin with, you should pay attention to why the student received a "failure". Talk to your child calmly and find out the reasons for the failure. Of course, severity will not hurt, but let it be within reasonable limits: you should not scold and bet on peas. Save punitive measures for more serious cases. You, like no one else, know your child, so you will immediately see if he just did not learn the lesson and took the task carelessly. In this case, show the talent of a diplomat and convince the unfortunate student that he should try to correct the assessment, but not in order to simply correct it, but in order to bring the work to mind. Well, if the child really learned his lessons, but the excitement prevailed, then calm him down by saying that anything can happen and you believe in him.

You to me, I to you

Some parents arrange a strange barter at home: you get an A, and I give you 100 rubles or allow you to play an online game. Psychologists joke (although are they joking?) That Pavlik Morozovs grow out of such schoolchildren, ready to sell even the most dear to their hearts. In this case, children begin to strive for good grades not in order to gain knowledge, but in order to improve their financial situation.

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Of course, you can reward the child, but for the efforts and efforts that he makes, and not for the grades. An excellent option would be a gift that he has long wanted, or a long-awaited summer trip to the sea. Most importantly, present it as a reward for diligence, and not for an A for the year.

Comparison with excellent students

Every second parent repeats to his child: “And Tanya is a better student than you. Tanya is good, but you are not. Of course, by shaming your child, you can achieve the fact that in the end he will really learn better, but the goal of such studies will still not be to gain knowledge. Your child will be cramming and cunning only in order to wipe the nose of the more successful Tanya. Yes, in the end you will achieve what you want, but only in part, because your child's good grades will add doubts about himself and his own strengths, and self-esteem will go down in childhood.

From an early age it is not worth instilling in a child that he is worthless, while adding: "There are zealous and intelligent children." Better praise your would-be disciple, praise for everything you can.

Show that you believe in him, are ready to help and in no way think that there is someone better than him. Parents-allies, not parents-enemies, are needed by a child who himself understands that he is not yet very successful at school.

Understood yourself - tell your child

Cramming, reading in the style “I look into a book - I see a fig” is not the best option for a student.

It's good when parents understand that school grades are conventions. Now it is necessary for the children to understand this too, and, moreover, to understand it correctly. The main thing is to explain to the child that a mark is not an indicator of intelligence and what awaits him in the future, first of all, it is an indicator of his attitude to learning. Cramming, reading in the style “I look into a book - I see a fig” is not the best option for a student who wants to be an intelligent person, and not just an excellent student who forgets everything immediately after the exam.

Try to always calmly perceive the failure of the child, help him, teaching him from childhood to work and take his work seriously and responsibly. Once explaining to your student that you should not chase subjective assessments, but concentrate on gaining knowledge, you will avoid unnecessary tears due to twos, thoughtless pursuit of good grades and disregard for school.