Older sister

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

When there are two girls in a family, it is very important that they become friends, not rivals. I cannot say that my older sister is mine"

Perhaps I myself remember how, in early childhood, the delights of my character haunted the whole family. Beloved daddy, who made a remark to his youngest daughter at the table, immediately received a very spectacular action in response: Zhenya slowly, with taste, demonstratively (from the word "demon"), lowered her bright head into a plate of porridge, sitting like this (lying with her face in semolina) until mommy takes pity and takes the stubborn child to the washbasin. I don't even know what I personally did with my monster after such a manifestation of temper.

Lenka was constantly pulled for my tricks, and since I was a child I tried to do everything in my own way, it never seemed to her little. "The child said:" fool "- she learned from you, how else !!!" - as if nowhere … "Why don't you take your sister for a walk, there is nothing to nibble on the seeds with the boys, go and have her in front of your eyes" - cruel when a girl has her first love … "Check her homework, and then you will talk on the phone !! ! ". In short, there was something to hate.

She always considered me a parental "favorite", which is allowed almost everything. They say that on the first children, parents learn, experiment, and the last child, as the last attempt, with a new approach to education. I don't know … but only me and she, like heaven and earth, are different both in character, and in principles of life, and in goals. I have always been a leader, a ringleader both in the classroom and in the yard. When the director summoned the mischievous people from 7 "B" to the carpet and saw me and another hooligan among them, he grabbed validol, and not because he saw the impudent young ladies for the first time, but because one of them was dear, and the other was a cousin sister of the Komsomol organizer of the school. And only last week, he personally expressed gratitude to Elena for her school achievements and the upbringing of a worthy change in the person of her excellent sister.

She was fond of social life (her sister is also a creative person), but her studies on her mind very rarely lasted more than an academic 45 minutes, in each discipline. Behind her, she finished 10 grades, and I always tried to get a "high school", having entered a prestigious university on my own. The main thing on which her strength was spent and where her aspirations were concentrated is marriage and the selection of a suitable candidate. First love and passion did not end in marriage … Further searches brought the desired result, also due to the problem of control from the parents. You will not say anything, it reached the point of absurdity when it was necessary to return by 22.00 and not a minute later. In general, when she got married, she fled from family care, just not thinking that married life is an even greater responsibility and even greater control over herself and over you.

My relationship with my parents was based on the manifestation of independence and arbitrariness, from the standpoint of making my own decisions, defining tasks and ways, depending only on my needs. Probably, having made sure of the efficiency and consistency of my steps, they left me alone, and touched only in urgently necessary situations. As my mother recently answered me: "It is useless to educate you, what you want is what you do … Well, you also know what to do." Some of my friends caught on to my slogan "self made woman", I admit it, it's true.

Previously, problems with my sister were only in arguments and quarrels with my parents about my "promiscuity", but the years of her marriage added another one that worried me very much. With regard to the distribution of material benefits, which I use, since I live with my parents, despite my own income. The tradition of dividing everything equally remained in her mind. And then there is injustice in relation to her, as to an already incomplete claimant for love and the benefits of parental opportunities. Although this is still unfair on her part, since her mother and father never forget either about her, or about her beloved grandson (who is like the light in the window and the meaning of the rest of their life), or about her son-in-law.

Our last friction arose from my excessive attention to friends, and not to her person. I have a lot of acquaintances, a large circle of close friends, with whom I am both more interesting and more confidential than with my sister. But in her opinion, "a wise matron of life," I need tips and advice. Moreover, often my friends (who are mostly of the same age) listen to her comments with or without. Of course, I tried to share with her, but once it became the property of other people's ears, like her whole personal life. And then my sister doesn't like to listen, but loves to be listened to, while accusing me of being too egocentric. Only which of us is a big egoist is a moot point.

I love her very much, accepting for who she is, she also loves me, but in a very peculiar way. For which I always thank my mother, so for the fact that she hammered into our heads the thought: "You are sisters, you will never have anyone dearer and closer when your father and I are gone. Live in peace, even if you have to sacrifice some personal ambitions and interests. Never think that it is easier to cope alone than with the support of a loved one."

I asked for a brief comment on our situation. psychologist Vanifatyev Vyacheslav Yurievich:

1. Your sister is jealous of you. This explains everything. The main reason is that you, as a person, as a person, have taken place a cut above her. Naturally, she does not talk about it, maybe she does not even realize … What humiliates, usually does not come to mind - this is a taboo for consciousness.

2. She has many claims about you: you get more than she does of various benefits (material, freedom, attention, etc.) - these are all reasons to express your insult for injustice, inequality.

3. If you received them equally, it would hardly change anything.

4. You have the traits of a leader - you can captivate people, and they will follow you - this is more than money - it is a kind of power and will. As you know, everyone wants to be first - but few can. So there will never be equality between you - she must accept it.

In the upbringing of children and their relationships with each other, a huge responsibility falls on the parents. First of all, in resolving children's conflicts and maintaining conditional parity in their development. The main emphasis should be placed on fostering responsibility for each other - and as far as possible to push aside the problems associated with the allegedly unequal attention. You also need to take into account their behavior in the group - you need to achieve the priority of children to each other, even in opposition to the group leader. An ideal family is considered when a brother and sister and a brother are older, because many of the reasons that cause jealousy, and therefore aggression, disappear by themselves.