Father is jealous of his daughter

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

When you watch the famous American comedy "Father of the Bride", the events taking place in it seem sweet and funny. And it is also surprising that a father, who loves his daughter so much and wishes her only well, is doing everything possible so that her wedding with her beloved person, a sweet and harmless guy, does not take place. How serious this really is, you understand only at the moment when you yourself go into the category of brides, and your once adored daddy suddenly becomes a pest, encroaching on girlish happiness and love.

Everything is calm in Baghdad

Once upon a time, everything was almost cloudless. Your dad behaved like a man who had the most beautiful, kind and intelligent girl - his daughter. He, to the best of his capabilities and desires, helped your mother with swaddling, bathing, walking, swinging and feeding a little still understanding, but constantly screaming lump, with eyes exactly like his. Then you began to show character and disobedience: wandered around the house in lowered pantyhose and shouted, while a tired dad, hiding behind a newspaper, tried to take a nap. Stupefyingly swaying on a swing fixed in the doorway of your room on terribly creaking hooks. She asked me to show my favorite filmstrip "Fedorin's grief" ten times a day, while watching it, invariably declaiming with the expression, seeing the familiar footage: "And the dishes are swept and swept over the goals, through the swamps …" I was capricious when they tied bows in the morning. I hated putting toys in a common bag and did not understand the phrase: "Now clean up the room!" For disobedience, you could be slapped on the butt, and sometimes threatened with your father's belt. But the most unpleasant punishment, worse than a belt, was what your dad's sophisticated mind invented: they put you in a corner and handed Vitaly Bianchi's book. You should have read one of the animal stories and retell it to your dad. Only after that were you allowed to watch Goodnight Babes. So you learned to read fluently at preschool age and hated Bianchi's stories.

Also, even before school, there were subtle but significant changes in your relationship with your dad. Once, when dad was bathing you, you suddenly turned away and said: "By herself!" Dad had to embarrassedly leave the bathroom, and he never saw you again without panties.

During his school years, dad played a huge role in your life, even if sometimes it seemed that he was exclusively busy with some of his important and adult affairs. Of course, he wanted a boy to whom he could pass on his experience in radio amateurism and chess, advise books about the war and suggest going to football. But there was you, the one who more and more showed her feminine essence. You often and as if by chance found yourself alone with your dad (for example, asking to go with him to put the car in the garage) and happily blurted out all your secrets about your girlfriends and classmates to him. Dad listened, sometimes advised something, but inwardly he was very glad that there is spiritual closeness between you. You didn't think about it then. Although she dreamed that your future husband would be like dad.

A storm warning

It all started when you had a boy. Previously, you stayed up late with a friend and could only call her on the phone before leaving her and tell her that you would be coming soon, or even not calling at all. When the boy began to pick you up, he was obliged to take you to the door of the apartment no later than the last ray of the sun gilded the roof of your house. But how can you come on time when you are in love ?! When HE firmly squeezes your hand at the entrance to the entrance, pulls you to him and shyly, but hotly kisses ?! It is impossible to stop this. So the sweet languor continues exactly until a formidable daddy's cry comes from the blackness of the entrance: "Ira, is that you ?! Come home quickly!" Here is the moment: The father is jealous of the daughter.

So gradually a wall begins to grow between you and dad. You are less and less asking to put the car in the garage with him, less and less talking about yourself and your life. And what can you tell him about? That Vasya dragged you to the roof of your nine-story building yesterday to look at the stars, but, of course, he wanted something completely different? Or what is the best way to protect yourself if you don't like using a condom? Or that last Sunday at Katya's birthday party you mixed vodka with beer on a bet, drank it and then "scared the toilet" in the toilet? You cannot tell your dad about all these "mistakes of youth", because his reaction is quite predictable. However, you can't tell your mother about it either. So gradually you move away from your parents and learn to solve your problems on your own or together with your friends.

The calm before the storm

After some time, you develop a "serious relationship" with a young man. You introduce him to his parents. He smokes with his dad on the balcony. Tries to please by keeping up a conversation about Dad's favorite 70s hard rock bands. He gives Dad a book about John Lennon for his birthday. After some time, this young man is replaced by a new one, whose parents have a car (your dad is immediately interested in what brand). He helps your dad with the carb, and then they drink beer in the kitchen. Then this young man also evaporates from your life. And dad gradually gets used to the fact that you periodically meet with someone, and sometimes you don't even sleep at home. Until HE appears - your future husband.

Dad doesn't like him right away, from the first second, from the first handshake. It is not known how, but fathers instantly feel a real rival, the one who will take their daughter's heart from them, who will become the most important man in the world for her, eclipsing dad for a time or forever.

Dad is suspicious and unpleasant about everything in him: his appearance, the manner of not looking into your eyes and silently sneaking into your room (still, under such a heavy father's gaze!), His daily calls, his frequent visits to your house ("What he has nothing to do ? I could unload the cars in the evening after college, as I did in my youth! "). Dad does not like the parents of your future chosen one. Their financial situation is especially worried. Poverty angers, prosperity confuses, "middle peasant" is alarming. In general, any new information about this young man makes dad grow more and more gloomy.

Pa-ba-ba-bam! Pa-ba-ba-bam

And then - a bolt from the blue: "Mom, Dad, we decided to get married!" Do you think this news will please your dad? Of course not. And that's to put it mildly. At first he doesn't seem to take your words seriously. In fact, what happened will plunge him into shock and numbness. Then he seems to wake up from a bad dream and say: "Yes, all this is nonsense! What are you up to? Where are you going to marry?" He cannot and does not want to understand that now practically nothing depends on him, that you yourself made this decision, and you, by and large, do not care whether he agrees or not.

You will try to talk to dad in a good way. Excited, in a slightly trembling voice, you will tell him about your love: "I have never been so easy with anyone! We have been dating for a year, but we have never quarreled! We love each other!" Do you think the old man's heart will melt from these words? Nothing like this! He will answer you with a lengthy speech about castles in the air and rose-colored glasses. He will paint terrible pictures of your poverty and unsettled life ("You will want to go to restaurants, but there will be no money, and do not expect help from us. You will start swearing and, in the end, get divorced!") He will say that you are still small, and your future husband does not have a normal job. And in general, “I don’t like this fiance of yours, and you don’t know him at all”.

Father is jealous of his daughter - what to do? Naive dad, he still thinks that his instructions can change something! In about a month, he will finally understand that the wedding is inevitable. And here comes a new stage in your cold war. One day at dinner, he will announce in an iron voice that you have no money for the wedding, that you need to repay a loan, fix your car, upgrade your computer and the devil knows what else. You will say that this is why you announced the wedding in January, because the event is scheduled for August, and there is still plenty of time. It won't convince him. No one will save money (in the end they will simply borrow it from friends), but until August, moaning will continue about how all this is not on time and how stupid it is. In parallel, dad will continue to make attempts to turn you against the groom. He will casually say that he liked your previous boyfriend much more, or he will offer you to send your profile to the website of German suitors ("You have always dreamed of visiting Germany. You see, there will be no other opportunity!").

In addition (this is a big secret that no dad will ever admit to his daughter), your father, to put it mildly, is not too happy about the prospect that from now on you will be sharing the bed with some stranger. Yes, you already had some kind of relationship with the guys, but maybe then everything somehow got along without sex (what if ?!), but here it will not only not do, but will become a notorious conjugal obligation.

A month and a half before the wedding, your dad suddenly becomes wildly active. He will be outraged that you, foolish children, have already chosen a restaurant, a toastmaster and an operator without him. He will be shocked by the prices, will grab a newspaper with advertisements and in your presence will start ringing up "toastmasters" with button accordions for a reasonable fee. You will be hysterical. He will throw the phone aside and say that you are unbearable. You will answer that your only dream is to get married and leave the house where you are being held for an idiot. You will practically stop communicating until the very wedding.

On the evening before the upcoming event, you will be trying on your wedding dress. And mom will call dad to watch. Dad will come, quietly gasp from surprise and surging feelings, shake his head, go to the balcony and smoke for a long, long time. On this night he will sleep even less than you.

And the wedding will happen! And there will be everything: rings, smiles, kisses, cries of "bitter!" and a wedding cake. And at the end of the evening, the toastmaster will ask the bride to dance a slow dance with her dad. And he will say that after this farewell dance, dad will forever transfer his beloved daughter into the hands of another most important man in her life - her husband. And you will cry. And daddy's eyes will sparkle with tears. And you will forgive him all the insults. Because he loves you.

Raking the rubble

Your relationship with your dad will not improve suddenly or immediately after the wedding. It may take both him and you months and even years to rethink what happened. Your main trump card in building new relationships will be your happy family life with your beloved husband. Seeing with his own eyes that the most terrible predictions do not even think to come true, dad will gradually come to the difficult thought that at some point in something he may have been wrong. And after that, everything will become much easier. Dad suddenly discovers that your husband looks like a famous oligarch, which is reassuring. He also looks like a German, which, in turn, makes Germany closer. And somehow at a family celebration, dad will raise the third glass and say: "I want to drink to my son-in-law!", And everyone will laugh, because the third toast is for love. And somehow, by chance, dad will suddenly start a conversation about grandchildren, "ordering" himself a boy granddaughter. And you will sit between your two beloved men and think: "No, the first will be a girl like me!" The father is jealous of his daughter - this is natural and you can't get away from it!

You can find other equally interesting articles on preparation for the wedding in the "Love" section of our women's website.