Moving to another country with 4 children after divorce

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Why are women so afraid of being left without a husband? Because it's lonely at night? Or is the fear of not fitting into the patterns created by society turns out to be stronger than the desire to be happy? How to get out of the captivity of a difficult marriage and start your path to a successful and happy life, we were told by the blogger and eccentric mother of four children - Elizabeth House.

“Divorce is an emotionally difficult event. Calmness and confidence that a man will decide everything, give rise to fear in a woman's head of the future and a new free life. And if a couple has a child, it is still complicated several times.

I was born and have always lived in the capital. In the beautiful city of Riga. She worked and studied there. I tried many professions, but ambitions were manifested even at a young age. In the restaurant business, starting with washing dishes, she rose to director in six months, and in cleaning companies in just a couple of months - from a cleaner to a facility manager. Further - more: your own beauty salon, tattoo studio and 19 diplomas in the beauty field. Such a quality as not to stop and reach the top in any business that I started helped me in the future when I made difficult decisions and started life anew.

The first love. Wedding. First daughter

I got pregnant early. At the age of 19, she had already given birth to a child, her husband was a long-distance sailor, I had to stay with my daughter for many months alone. Because of this, the marriage collapsed. The husband even asked to arrange scandals for him, like all normal wives, and I was already sick next to him, from a complete lack of feelings.

In the company of my friends, I then met a man. He flew in on vacation from Denmark. It turns out that we went to the same school with him. But they did not remember each other at all. We started going to hockey together. Then for the first time I clearly felt butterflies in my stomach. We played word games for eight hours one night. And then on a bet, I said that I would come to him in Denmark. He flew away, and on the same day I took tickets. I returned with my son under my heart.

Condemnation. Fear. Divorce

My husband did not officially let me go. I again flew with my daughter and belly to Denmark. And only after returning, in my seventh month of pregnancy, there was a divorce. Why was he pulling? What for? Will remain a mystery to me forever.

The state when the first months dad came for his daughter and took away, of course, terrible. It was hard to accept. Later I realized that it was some kind of lack of confidence in myself and the new family. It seemed that I swear a lot or forbid something, but there everything is possible with my dad. I worked on this situation for a long time, but my ex-husband appeared less and less. The child became nervous, and then forgot that there was someone else in her life. His appearances were difficult for me and my daughter. No alimony or gifts. Only rare calls and accusations addressed to me.

The city is small, and I really dreamed of hiding from it and protecting my daughter. We tried to fly to Denmark, and considered other cities and countries. But I was scared that I would not be able to realize myself as a person in another civilization. And getting to a foreign country is not easy, especially with children. My best friend married an Estonian. And she moved to Tallinn. I looked at them and thought more seriously about my escape. I started looking for real estate sites in Tallinn. Time passed, and the desire to move, run away and start all over again did not leave me. Since I already had four children, and the family did not work out with my second husband.

Solution. Moving. One

I could not continue to live next to my ex and see how my second marriage collapses. She believed that past failure hinders the new family. And only, probably, thanks to my inner strength and desire for realization, I decided to give up everything and flee to another country with my children. The second husband was not around at that moment, he went to work in London, then we were very much deceived for money, and we were left penniless.

Not knowing anything about the documents, what we need and how to settle down in general, I packed my things, rented an apartment with my last savings and started a new life.

The first difficulties in Estonia arose when I was asked for permission from my father to move. I remember writing a statement that I have no idea where he is, how he is. Calling my ex and asking for help was impossible. I wanted no one to know where and how we live. Even the move did not save from the second divorce. From a distance, we could not find a common language.

Start. Success. New life

It was difficult with the money. I worked from home doing permanent makeup. I took clients at the price of a student, although at that time I already had more than five years of experience. State support for children was not given. I had to abandon the Latvian payments in favor of the Estonian ones. My case was considered for six months, and during this time there were no payments for children. But after a positive decision, I was immediately credited the entire amount for six months, which helped a lot to get back on my feet.

After school, the eldest daughter sat with the two younger ones. I paid her money so that she could work quietly in the next room. In the evenings, I picked up my middle son from the kindergarten and went with him to wash the office complex. My husband sent part of the rent, but the rest lay on my shoulders, so additional income was needed.

But even during this period, I did not forget about myself and went to the gym, putting on leggings, in which I went to physical education lessons at school. With an ideal body, self-confidence returned to me, I was invited to participate in photo shoots as a model, and from that moment interesting acquaintances began for my development.

I was implementing all my grandiose plans. She opened a full-service beauty studio and started weaving afrocos. She studied videos from YouTube on mannequins, then on familiar girls. I intertwined a huge number of them, after which I even made my own course, with which I traveled throughout Europe.

With all the workload, I spent a lot of time with the children. We went to new playgrounds. Then we went by public transport with a stroller and backpacks, but it was fun and interesting for the children. The eldest went to study at the theater, the middle son from the age of three has already gone to hockey. More than once I was invited to the radio to talk about how I manage everything with four children and run my business so successfully. There was only one answer - I just go and do it.

I always asked myself: did I run away then or start a new life. Mentally returning to the past, I can say for sure - it started! Now I am 31 years old, I have four children, we still live in Estonia, and I am trying to rebuild my relationship with my second ex-husband. I have an interesting and happy life without fears and reproaches. Now we are already thinking about moving to Moscow together.

I am sure that you can always raise your foot a notch higher and take a step. Yes, when we get married, we stop using our inner resources to the full. But when we are alone, the backup power supplies come on! There is always room to strive and grow, and it doesn't matter if you are alone in your familiar shell of your hometown or you start from scratch in an unfamiliar world with four children. The main thing is to start and not be afraid!"