How

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Part 1 - Change of external factors

Why do we "no longer want" our husbands? Because sooner or later a certain disharmony in intimate relationships comes into our life. And many hitherto happy families even file for divorce on the grounds of loss of sexuality, both on the part of the husband and on the part of the wife. But don't rush! If the spouses have a desire to save the family, then there are plenty of options to return their former attraction to each other. This, in fact, is the question.

To begin with, try to clearly define the reasons for your cooling down to your husband, throwing away emotions for the time being, and formulate them precisely on paper, because, without understanding the causes of the "disease" and without making a "diagnosis", ways of "treatment" and solution of the problem - do not calculate.

Try to do this when there is no anger at your partner inside ("yes, he is just a goat!"), There is no pity either for him or for yourself ("I love him, I feel sorry for my family, what about the children?"). Only when the mind is light and sober. Take it apart, starting with seemingly "unimportant" little things that …

Start not with sex itself (or lack of it), but with everyday sketches.

1. "Throws dirty socks around the apartment." That's right, and this happens, and annoys, and discourages some women. And this is understandable. I don't think your husband would like to see the scattered details of your toilet in all their monthly or just daily phases … yes, socks are not panties, I agree, but they also smell …

2. "He walks at home unshaven and always dissatisfied." Grunts, snaps, is rude or, on the contrary, is silent and turns away from your kiss on the cheek. Think about it - why? And analyze how long it lasts in your relationship.

A week? - Maybe he's in trouble at work?

Month? - Big trouble, perhaps …

Longer? - Then it has nothing to do with anything but You. Unfortunately.

A man can, if desired, find a bunch of excuses and reasons, most often of which - "problems at work" - a very convenient explanation. And the short one, which is important! So bear in mind - they deceive you and hide the real reason …

3. "Snores in his sleep … pulls off the blanket … smells disgusting of sweat, tobacco or unclean teeth …" It also happens and also discourages the desire to snuggle up to his shoulder and start kissing from those very smelly armpits, going up the rough neck, prickly cheek and reaching his lips, from which … Brr! Fights off, why dissemble!

4. "Too thin or fat." Remember how he was before the wedding? If you went out for a full or bony, then there is nothing to complain about! But if he is corroded or shriveled up, it is fixable. By you.

5, 6, 7… - at your discretion, I will not list all the possible options. They are different in each specific case.

Did you write it down on a piece of paper? Well done, now fill in the second column.

Paragraph 1. You cannot teach to carry dirty socks to the bathroom, and you are tired of cleaning yourself - start a box for him by the bed and write with a felt-tip pen: "warehouse". Let it "add up"! Determine the place where the "reset" occurs most often, and substitute something for him there. Just do not grumble at the same time and do not make the face of the teacher who leaves the entry in the diary: "parents - to school!", But do it cheerfully and as a joke, and only when he is in a good mood.

A "normal man" will either accept the rules of the game, or he himself will be ashamed and eventually begin to take socks where necessary. Is yours "crazy"? Then read below …

Item 2, 3 and following … "Shave, trim, wash, change and make people public."Change his image either in a new direction, or in the direction of the time when you still liked him … The method of changing external factors is very important not only for men who are "excited by the eyes", but also for women who find it hard to "want" unwashed (or washed but crumpled), boring or simply familiar "monster" …

Dress him up and take him out somewhere, on a visit, to a party in a bar or an erotic show, and see how he himself "dismisses his feathers" because he looks good, and how other women begin to pay attention to him. He's not that bad, is he ?! In your favorite sweater or shirt, jeans or formal trousers, with well-groomed hands and nails, stylish haircut (cut if necessary), clean-shaven and smelling of your favorite men's eau de toilette. Well, what is not the first guy in the village ?!

What is not a candidate "for the night"?

Do not forget also that constant stay in four walls kills many positive emotions in both, even if you live "together", and "going out" is always diverse and gives rise to a feeling upon returning home that this very life does not end behind the threshold of the front door., but only continues …

Filled out the sheet? Take the next one …

Imagine that you are the same "monster" who lives with you. Why does he no longer want you passionately and often? … (if there is such a problem) Hide emotions and look at yourself from the side of his eyes. External. Your inner world, "Brodsko-Nabokov", "cosmopolitan-Glukoz" or combined, unfortunately, plays almost no role in intimate relationships. Perhaps, if before you were wanted "for brains" and "rich inner world", now they want you (or do not want) "for design and interface", after all. That he prefers either to drink with friends, or watch erotica on TV and rummage through porn sites, or just go to bed instead of satisfying the woman who still loves him … Very often in families this happens: the wife "demands" sex, silently or loudly, and the husband - "in the bushes" or a pillow … Why? If you feel confidently that the reason is not you, skip this paragraph. If there is a grain of doubt, look at yourself through the eyes of a man …

1. Do you consider yourself sexually attractive? And most importantly, do you feel that way after his repeated denials of intimacy? Most likely no. A man "kills" a woman in us with his "unwillingness" and casts doubt on all our virtues, gradually displacing them with complexes: "even my husband no longer wants me", "something is wrong with me", "I am probably ugly and non-sexual "… You know what's interesting? That this is true even if you have a good figure without cellulite, protruding breasts and luxurious hair.

But the truth is only "through his eyes." Through the eyes of someone who has fallen out of love, or a cheating person, or just a man who regrets the marriage, but cannot "quit" or "leave". How are you. For several reasons. Children, dogs, apartment, "sorry", "used to" and so on …

In this case, sooner or later you will stop wanting a person who “doesn’t fit you” (sorry for being rude, a quote from men's conversations …) Are you sexy or not? After all, you know the tastes of your spouse, so look at yourself.

2. Do you find him sexually attractive? Imagine that your body is his hairy arms and legs. Close your eyes and try to become a man in your own body. A very strange and unusual sensation, I tell you … Close your eyes and stand mentally at the mirror, contemplating the muscles, fat folds or protruding bones, and certainly - "dignity", his pride or … well, you know better … Do you think he likes himself ? Are you sure that your loss of sexuality is not due to the fact that "this body" does not love itself. Or maybe it doesn't suit you, you don't like it, it doesn't excite you … Why? Write it down on a piece of paper.

It cannot be completely changed. Parts - you can. After all, we are not alone in shaping and going to beauty salons, right up to plastic surgery clinics.

Love him? Do you want to return the very spark to the relationship when the whole world turns from one of his embrace - to the gym, to a diet or high nutrition, to the pharmacy for Viagra, if this is the only thing, or to a psychotherapist … Buy him sexy men's underwear to replace family panties, and not yourself another lace corset … And imagine "your" body in a virtual mirror in the form in which it would arouse you …

If you have absolutely no way - don't torture the peasant with useless transformations, but secretly get a lover if you don't want to get divorced, but without a normal sex life you wither like a not watered flower in a pot, showered with hair like leaves, and without blooming even in spring.

(You know, without a normal sex life, we age visually and physically. "Do you need it?")

If the problem in your family is that he is "always ready" and wants, but you are no longer, do not think that all of the above does not apply to you. Sit down and dig. If you think that your spouse has become unwanted because you no longer love and no methods will help you, then this is a special story that has nothing to do with sexuality and the establishment of intimate relationships.

Let's briefly summarize the first part:

- Identify external stimuli (everyday, everyday) that cause negative emotions in you, directed towards your partner. Try to eliminate them together, showing ingenuity, feminine cunning and a healthy sense of humor.

- Decide on those external factors of the spouse that annoy you and which can be corrected. Don't be afraid of his "misunderstanding" of the problem or "offended pride" - if you're trying to look good, why shouldn't he? Just find acceptable methods and use non-hurtful words to nudge him into action.

- Do not sit with your husband at home at every opportunity, but go out into nature, a summer residence, "take out" just for a walk or visit, having taught yourself to look after yourself first "in public", and then at home.

- Change his image radically. Take a chance! Yesterday he is a garish lad at Nike, and today a stylish young man in Calvin Klein. Yesterday - curly, today - with a shaved head. Show your imagination, do not be shy! Your "treasure"!

Isn't it about socks and looks?

Part 2. Viagra, Vibrator or Swing?

Well, here we come to that very part, when the actor of a mono performance appears on the stage naked and alone - Sex - as it is. You. From your point of view, not men. If the only problem is that your spouse has ceased to excite or satisfy you, this is the place for you. Let's talk about sex "blind", with toys, and swing and other varieties of variety. Not from a technical point of view, but from a point of view The method of changing the factors of touch, visualization, sensuality and sensitivity.

It is quite possible that you are fed up with three-minute sex with panting or a two-hour swim in one direction … It is quite possible that the thought of "oh, now he is me …" you lose the desire that was "before" just because you clearly imagine " like "this is about to happen. It is also likely that "he is a bad man" or "not my man" has been sitting in your head for a long time, and that is why the brain on autopilot gives a signal to the body "oh, just not this" … A little familiar? Then let's speculate …

At first: there are no bad men. There are bad lovers. More precisely, some men become bad lovers over time. Proof? Please! Are you sure that if your spouse "sinks" in response to another woman, he will also sniff for three minutes, sit in front of the monitor or swim in one direction? knows how, in order to keep this woman as a mistress as long as possible.

And you? Why conquer or keep you, when you already "are" and, apparently, you will not go anywhere … He will look at her the way you would like, not skimp on long preludes to get what he wants … Bring her to orgasm, so that … not to lose and have a chance "for tomorrow."He will prove to her and himself in every possible way that he is a super-man and a super-lover, whom you still have to look for! Or do you still think that he is basically "useless"? … And how did he "conquer" you, well, remember …

So it turns out that he “can” with you, but “does not want”, and you, in principle, “want”, but with him you “cannot” … All couples go through this. Absolutely everything, and there is nothing wrong with such cooling. For the time being …

Until one of the two "avoids" intimacy, but both. This is already a disaster. And here there are only two options: to disperse, to disperse, if nothing already holds, or to try to "improve" your sex life, if it is your only problem.

Since today we are talking mainly about you, about your feelings and desires, let's consider the second option: how to get back a good lover in the face of her husband, before deciding on a divorce or an affair on the side.

Let's take it for the installation: "you have grown cold to him", "you do not want sex with him," but you want sex terribly.

Suppose you tried shopping for lingerie from a sex shop (for yourself!), Scented candles in the bedroom, and so on, and so on … But the result is still disastrous.

Continuation…