Children in joy

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Keep it simple, dear mom, as well as the future parent! I have long dreamed of writing that "deciding on a child" is very easy. Much, very much depends on the mood. But, like Bender in The Golden Calf, I discovered that all this had long been written before me. And yet…

Let's start with the main thing: the desire to get pregnant and the fears that are associated with it. It is no secret that today most of us are frightened off not only by the material costs that children bring us, but also by responsibility, social risks (career is over), fear of childbirth, fear of being left alone with children without a husband. In general, fear is a sea in which even the most calm and phlegmatic person by nature will really drown. What can we say about us, weak and beautiful ladies …

Firstly, we are not weak, but very strong and morally stable creatures. Secondly, today being alone with children is not nearly as scary as, for example, a couple of hundred years ago. I am reminded of Dickens's novels, full of hideous poverty and dark pictures. Today everything is different, even in the most remote from communications and civilization region of Russia there is an opportunity to raise one baby. Ravik, the hero of Kundera's Waltz, believed that once you decide on a child, you believe that the world is worth seeing. If you believe in this, then all difficulties will be easily overcome.

Thirdly, giving birth and raising children is natural. Fortunately, most of my friends and I had to be convinced of this undeniable truth from our own experience. We ourselves made them comfortable (we give birth at home under the supervision of midwives or trained in maternity hospitals). What is important is your inner state and readiness to give birth, for this there are numerous inexpensive schools, as well as charity training courses with consultations and even monasteries. Read the literature - there are a lot of optimistic and funny stories about childbirth online. See a doctor, but listen to your heart and your baby. If you want to look at motherhood from the point of view of the science of ethology, considering the instincts preserved from the time of our tailed ancestors, take the film of the famous anthropologist Daymond Morris.

Fourthly, our benefits (minuscule) cannot be compared with European ones, the level of salaries, especially in the regions, is also, to put it mildly, low. But … you can save up for childbirth and for a child six months before this wonderful event. We often sit around, read a book, sit in the office instead of looking for possible ways to make money. Today, even in the north of the Kola Peninsula, there are Internet providers. There is little to do - to learn how to do something well. And to do this, keep your eyes open and your nose to the wind. However, if there is no, well, absolutely no opportunity to earn money for undershirts, you can ask other mothers for them. To do this, go to the forum, ask the girls - they will even share a table, a chair, a crib and, of course, things. I bought my child only a mattress for a crib and little things. The rest is the gifts of numerous friends.

Work is generally a separate conversation, and a rather serious one. I think you will be surprised if you find out that today there are at least several vocational rehabilitation centers for moms.

Lost qualifications, do not know how to fit into the labor market? Go to the labor exchange (they provide free consultations with a specialist, answer the career guidance test), wander the websites of recruiting agencies, read the magazine "Career" from cover to cover over the past three years. Take action! I got a job in the first week of pregnancy, now my baby is almost a year old. We work from home, study on the Internet, which I earn with my articles.

Stably I bring home in my beak half of my husband's earnings. And at the same time … I take care of the baby, regularly visit, read. What's the secret? In simplicity. I collected all possible devices for transporting the baby, and the first time we left at a month and a half. When our yoga coach said that a "layer of positive ions" forms on the diapers when ironing, I was wildly glad that you can be lazy with official permission. I know that my child is seasoned, so when I'm warm, I don't wear him. The usual relaxation helped me make my life easier. I'm just a calm mother who is not concerned about whether Mishenka ate, did he poop? This does not mean that I am not licking and not my child. Vice versa. It's just that I'm not worried about the feeding regime (and I have neither mastitis, nor stagnation, but there is so much milk that I can feed a thousand children). I feel my child and know him. When he feels bad, he makes it clear. When he has a runny nose, we put on socks and call the doctor, but inside I have serenity. I believe and am not afraid. I think it's all about the hormones and the good birth that allowed me to bond or bond with my baby.

We had colic and unreasonable crying, we slept badly, were tired, but there was always some kind of reserve and for me there is no concept of "postpartum depression". Keep it simple, this is your child and he loves you. Fatigue and nervousness will pass, there will be only LOVE. Happiness to you!

Katerina Chinarova