Gain confidence

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

How you want to be a self-confident woman. Confidently go through life, confidently open any doors and confidently demand from everyone and everything their own blessings. As part of this program, you buy the most expensive clothes, "paint" an unapproachable face, run to the manicurist, pedicure, hairdresser … Until you are stopped at full speed by the rudeness of a tradeswoman in a filthy dressing gown. The stylist's hand did not touch her hair, and her hands have never known a manicure, and yet you give in to her. Her hurtful words sink into the soul, and you, over and over again scrolling the situation in your head, try to figure out how to get out of the situation with dignity. And yet the point is not at all in the tradeswoman and her rudeness, it is in you. As you can see, a suit from Galliano is not yet a guarantee of vitality and internal strength.

El naturel

Psychologists say that if you feel confident even without makeup, then you have good inclinations. Undoubtedly, our appearance, the presence of a car and a tightly stuffed wallet allow us to stand more firmly on our feet. However, if a lady, who got out of the limousine and dressed in furs, has complacency in her eyes and a desire to demonstrate her luxury, then she is internally very vulnerable. And along with the external attributes, both the energy of superiority and the ability to resist will disappear from her life. Cases of substitution are by no means isolated. Many of us try to replace our lack of self-confidence with something from the outside. It seems to us that if we have a prestigious job, a good apartment, a bank account or a husband-boss, we will immediately become more significant and impressive both in our own eyes and in the eyes of those around us. However, it only seems to be. Neither the husband, nor the apartment, nor the boss will help you to find that vital core that will allow you to withstand a difficult moment and conquer circumstances.

A self-confident woman is self-sufficient in any case and in any situation.

Where does that come from

Self-confidence is undoubtedly an internal quality due to both innate inclinations and the formation of a person during life. Parents play an important role here. Those who managed to form in the child a sense of support, security, who taught him to make decisions and take responsibility for them, overcome difficulties and not depend on other people's opinions, greatly facilitated the further life of their child. However, parents themselves can be very vulnerable, often they just have no time to engage in upbringing, and sometimes they are completely “asocial”. These unfavorable circumstances, however, do not exclude vitality. Fighting for survival from childhood, some remain “broken” until the end of their days, while others stand and “harden”. "Hardening" procedures can be carried out independently, self-confidence is quite amenable to training. So it is in your power to decide how you will go through life further, with a firm gait or shaky-roll.

A confident woman does not run from problems, but solves them.

A matter of technology

Starting the struggle with your own insecurity, it is necessary to determine the reasons for its occurrence. A good psychoanalyst will help to do this. However, you don't need to be an expert to understand that all our problems come from childhood. If somewhere out there, in the “mines” of your memory, someone has buried himself, who offended you, had a negative impact, undermined your strength and faith in yourself, urgently pull him out. In daylight, he will no longer be so significant, and he can be forgiven and let go. However, this does not mean that he will not return. It is extremely difficult to deal with the "ghosts of the past". It is even more difficult to convince yourself that you are “the most beautiful, the smartest, the luckiest, the most beloved,” when reality blatantly contradicts this. For this there is a technique of affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements that are not subject to doubt and require repeated repetition. A list of them can be found in any psychological bestseller. Armed with the right attitudes, stand in front of the mirror, look yourself in the eyes and repeat, repeat, repeat. It’s a good start if you can just look yourself in the eye (not an easy task, by the way). You will not immediately believe everything that you say about yourself. But for the tenth time, things will go much easier, and after a month of hard training, you will already begin to think that everything is really so.

A confident woman is not afraid to look straight in the eyes.

Go through life laughing

A good help in managing yourself and influencing circumstances is a sense of humor. Once the great Beaumarchais remarked: "If I did not laugh at everything, I would have to cry all the time." Why not take this formula for a happy existence into service? After all, a person who has such a "weapon" is almost impossible to offend and unbalance. Treat yourself and people with kind irony, and then you will be able to avoid unnecessary drama in life and in relationships. One of my friends was treacherously abandoned by a young man. When I began to express my sympathy to her, she suggested that he probably could not stand her singing in the bath, because she has absolutely no hearing. I'm sure she won't be alone for long. Plus, humor is the best way to resolve conflicts. The ability to laugh at yourself and your shortcomings neutralizes any attacks in your direction. And the ability to give an unexpected and witty answer, or even make the offender in a funny way, will completely reduce those who want to enter into conflict with you. True, wit must be strictly dosed so as not to make enemies for yourself. An evil word can still be forgiven, but a mockery - never.

A confident woman doesn't need to raise her voice to put her opponent in his place.

Don't be afraid of your flaws

Looking at yourself in the mirror does not make you feel the best. It’s not so, it’s not the same there, and, one wonders, how to live with all this. A stunning appearance, of course, makes life much easier, but it is by no means a guarantee of success. It takes some time to believe in it. Some manage to reshape themselves up and down before they realize that the second Marlene Dietrich of them will not work in any case. The desire to be beautiful is inherent in the female genes, and few of us are 100% satisfied with their appearance. But you can't go anywhere, you have to operate with what is available. And what is available does not always meet the desired standards. You can, of course, write off all your failures in life on this fact and then calmly rest on the laurels of your own insolvency. But what the mirror reflects so mercilessly is you, there will be no other. Try to focus on the positive. In the end, if you are not satisfied with the length of your legs, at least be glad that they exist at all, without them it would be much worse.

A self-confident woman is always guided by her merits, to which she includes her own shortcomings.

Stay yourself

How many times in your life do you lose yourself. Under the gaze of the boss, the gentle gaze of a man or the pleading gesture of a friend. How often do you give up your interests, principles, desires, so as not to offend, not to harm, and most importantly, to make an impression. And all because you are very afraid to disappoint others. What good, they will think badly of you, but you really want to seem better than you really are. Do not rush to change your views to please the first comer, even if this “oncoming” has cornflower blue eyes, a strong-willed chin and shoes polished to a shine. It is very difficult for a woman to resist indulging men's expectations. He wants to see you as a bright, relaxed laugh, and you do your best to "pretend joy", although in reality you are much closer to romantic sadness and a certain bashfulness. So maybe he will like the second option much more. And if not, then sooner or later the masks will still have to be removed, and with your pretense you will only delay the denouement. So is it worth trying so hard for this? Recognize yourself as valuable in yourself, even if someone doesn't like it.

A confident woman does not look around in anticipation of praise and confirmation.

Having gained self-confidence, you will change your life beyond recognition. Imperceptibly weakness, cowardice and throwing will disappear from her. In return, you will find peace, dignity and harmony. Agree, a very profitable exchange!