How to respond to rudeness?

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

The aunt in the store yelled at you and scolded you like a schoolgirl. You barely made it to your entrance, pushing your way through the undivided rows of insolent chewing teenagers. At home, a cat named Hamlo arrogantly walked past you, leaving a torn new blouse in tatters nearby. What is this, just a bad day? Or another portion of rudeness in your life?

Let's try to answer the question: how to answer rudeness? By the way, this word, "rudeness", is loved and used by our people. Apt, capacious. Hamami and boorish we call rude, arrogant and ill-mannered people. But this word has its own history: before the revolution, boors were called people belonging to the lower classes and therefore deprived of any dignity (in the eyes of the nobles). In our time, from the previous understanding of this word, only an association with a person who does not have self-esteem and therefore is not worthy of our attention has remained. Throwing a short "boor!" to the bumpkin who pushed you, you subconsciously put yourself above him and therefore do not consider it necessary to scold / scold / educate the uncouth uncle.

You quickly forget about such a small incident, but what if the rudeness of others makes you feel pathetic and stupid? What should you do if your mood drops and you are afraid to leave the house once again, so as not to feel humiliated again?

To begin with, stop self-digging and self-flagellation.

"I am a nonentity, since she thinks that I can be so insulted, I am stupid and scary, and generally a fool." If you have such thoughts, then urgently get rid of them. They are rude to everyone (it happens that several times a day), not just you. You can ask your acquaintances, they will immediately give you several cases of meeting with rudeness. Be more attentive to others, and you will see that many of us are rude.

Rudeness comes from arrogance, which is most often inherent in a person from birth, but, of course, develops in the absence of upbringing and education. Therefore, you should regard any manifestation of rudeness as a cost of low upbringing and bad character. You won’t take offense at an ill-mannered person?

You can meet rudeness everywhere: in the store, on the street, and in the office. Rudeness is to some extent generated by vanity, by the pace of life in big cities. Therefore, always be ready to face it and respond correctly. How, how to respond to rudeness?

Many of us respond with rudeness to rudeness and quickly forget about the problem. But, reacting in this way, you yourself sink to the level of your offender, and from the outside the situation looks, frankly, not very good. Try another way:

Ignore the offender and walk away with your head held high

In parting, you can give a boor / boor a contemptuous and arrogant look. You will not stoop to make a scandal. By the way, the boors just want scandals. Negative energy feeds them (or maybe they are discharged in this way?). But you won't give them that pleasure, will you?

Answer politely, with dignity

putting into your words some kind of deep and beautiful thought, perhaps a quote. You can spice up your words with irony or even sarcasm. For example, something like "it's always nice to hear kind words and valuable advice addressed to you" in response to boorish remarks.

It is very often difficult to get rid of a bad mood after an unpleasant encounter with a boor. If you are constantly replaying the situation in your head with different options for a worthy answer to the person who has nailed you and cannot do anything else, try the following:

Tell us about what happened

We are used to accumulating everything in ourselves, especially unpleasant moments and memories, in order to seem ideal to others. But psychologists have long said that the best way to relieve stress is to share the painful one.

Of course, you don't have to go to all your friends and tell them with tears in your eyes about how they stepped on your foot and called you a bad word.

Laugh at yourself (not evil), at the situation, show everyone, and first of all yourself, that this is just a stupid story that is not capable of ruining your day. Very quickly you yourself will believe it.

If you can't bring yourself to tell someone about the incident …

Write a letter, put all your negative emotions into words. And then get rid of it: burn it, tear it to shreds and throw it away or wash it off with a stream of water. Famous advice from psychologists. It will get easier, really.

Please yourself with something

Buy a cake or some trinket. Pleasant emotions from choosing and viewing beautiful things will kill an unpleasant aftertaste.

Throw a party for friends

Pre-holiday chores take up all your free time. The party itself will not only give you new impressions, but also exhaust you. There is no time for boors.

Buy a book on psychology and pedagogy

Carefully study the motives of the behavior of boors. By the end of the book, you will be sincerely sorry for the poor fellows who cannot express their feelings otherwise than by rudeness. After that, you will be eager to meet the boor in order to professionally "handle" him.

Compose speech

I remember you rehearsed a derogatory text that you would apply to the person who offended you? Well, say it all out loud! Firstly, as if you would answer the offender and forget about this trouble, and secondly, suddenly, in a similar situation, your memory will give out these apt words at the most opportune moment?

Read more

… no matter how trite it sounds. Classics are desirable. Your erudition will help you find beautiful and capacious words to answer a boor. Plus, you will become calm and philosophical about such incidents.

Relive the situation again

go to the same store, take a bus on the same route, walk along the same street, look into the same office. Go through the same situation, but without rudeness. Then you will not associate it with any specific place, which you will subconsciously avoid. If a malicious boor is sitting in the same place and squinting at you with an evil eye, you have a ready answer, right?

Forget about this advice if you know for sure that, having come to such a place, you can meet with aggression. This is a completely different story.

Accept an unpleasant story

Yes, it was. This is your experience, albeit an unpleasant one. He will help you another time. You have become stronger, stronger and wiser.

One more "but"

We are accustomed to thinking that one person's rudeness can be encountered only once (in a store, transport). What if your colleagues or boss / boss are boors? In this case, how to respond to rudeness? Moreover, their rudeness can manifest itself not in words, but rather in actions, which is called boorish behavior. Such behavior can manifest itself both at the level of interpersonal relations (the team does not accept you and intrigues you), and in professional activity: you are entrusted with small, insignificant, dreary work that does not correspond to your high qualifications, they are openly advised to change jobs, forced to work overtime at no additional charge, do not notify about meetings and negotiations that are important for your career, etc. In this case, you should determine for yourself how important this work is to you. Will you be able to go to a conflict and defend your position on principle, or would you prefer to patiently endure the insolence of your superiors so as not to lose your place. Perhaps, in this case, it would be most reasonable to fulfill your duties and ignore rudeness from others, and in parallel with this, look for a new job. However, it's up to you to decide. The main thing is to correctly calculate whether you have enough strength for confrontation or whether you can patiently endure rudeness. Good luck.