To have or not to have

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

I have probably read too many glossy magazines in my life.

6 a.m. In our family, an alarm clock is not needed - the offspring gets up like a bayonet at six in the morning, and begins to whine tediously, asking to go to the parental bed. This, of course, is not pedagogical, given that in his personal life the third is superfluous, but at six in the morning the head is not working at all on the topic of marital duty. Rather, it doesn't work at all - because six hours of sleep after a 12-hour workday is clearly not enough. Okay, I'm not the first. And in general, when I, all of myself a career girl, decided to have a child, no one said that it would be easy. True, the magazines write that you can combine everything …

In the West, this is called - have it all, that is, to have everything. For example, Nicola Horlick is 43 years old, has five children and an amazing career with six figures. I absolutely admire Nikola Horlik.

It's already seven! Lord, will I ever get some sleep? Not in this life, that's for sure. Not with my ambition. So, a child in a pot, porridge in the microwave, a husband - to shave and wash. While my son is straightening out the rolled oats, I make breakfast for myself and my beloved, put on coffee. I can't live without coffee. When freshly brewed, with milk, with froth on top … as in an advertisement, it evokes the best feelings. Mmmm … The husband is calling. The child demands to start his fire truck. Then I put lunch with me for my husband, a couple of fruits for myself, I collect the child for the nanny. My coffee, meanwhile, is cooling hopelessly. My husband is already ready to leave, but I suddenly discover that I still haven't eaten, dressed, put on makeup, combed my hair. But all of mine are ready and happy. And he also calls me a hogwash! The untouched coffee stays on the table.

Having thrown the child to the nanny, I hurry to work. An hour and a half one way, but the work is to strangle with envy. At least that's what my friends think. Sounds fashionable - coordinator of an international project. The contract says that my main duty is to ensure effective cooperation with our foreign partners. In practice, I just nurse them like children, convincing them that fulfilling their contractual functions is not a service to me personally, but their direct responsibility, for which they are paid a salary. There is a lot of work, there is never enough time from 9 to 5, so I stay late. There is no lunch break at all. But friends are jealous. And I do not dissuade. It's okay to be envied. I envy myself. It's okay to have a two year old and a fashionable job. And those who believe that it is difficult to combine this are simply lazy.

From work I gallop to school. No wonder the heels on my boots can be changed once a month! I get a second degree in finance, so that one day I will receive a salary not in killed raccoons, but in real dollars. For the number and level of assignments, projects and compulsory literature that I have to read and pass by the end of the semester, this study does not imply a lesser outcome. I didn’t want to finish my studies with a simple diploma, albeit a red one, I wanted so much to do it.

Margaret Thatcher with nursing twins passed the bar exam. Such examples always inspire me.

Study ends at 9 pm. Before I leave, I pop into the toilet and pull out a compact set of makeup to transform the pale ghost in the mirror into something more colorful. It takes about an hour to get to the house. Having loaded myself into a subway car (thank God, there are plenty of free seats at this time of day), I once again promise myself to pass, finally, on my license. Okay, this is summer. I’ll get off my studies, and … I take out Kommersant and try to concentrate on the business pages. But today I am already so dead that good intentions are carried over to another day, and I only have enough for a paperback book. Well, okay, all the same at other times it is not possible to read it, although I really want to.

How did it happen that when I studied at the university in the daytime, working and running around the disco once a week, I had the strength to do everything? I could not turn into a ruin in just 4 years - and this is in the presence of all kinds of household amenities. When was the last time I went to the gym? So … let's estimate … no, it can't be … three years ago? Well, yes, during pregnancy. After that, everything did not work out, and there was no special need - you would have seen me after giving birth. I have never been so slim in my life, honestly. When they ask me how I did not gain excess weight, I explain - you have to walk a lot and keep yourself busy. Holy truth. For example, I worked all 9 months. Why not if you feel good? And on the eve of the birth (as it turned out later) until 8 pm at the computer I processed the material for the article. So the stories about women deputies who were almost taken to the meeting room by a midwife with a maternity chair, so as not to be distracted from work, do not surprise me at all.

But you still need to find time for sports. Sveta called to the belly dance school. I'll pass the exams in the summer, and then …

I have language courses once a week. English alone is no surprise now. In addition, I am haunted by the fact that at the University I had to quit the second foreign language, and after graduation I took up the half-learned French on my own. Our teacher says that in order for the language to be learned easily and naturally, they need to study for half an hour, but every day. I carry a player and a textbook with me, to listen to on the road so as not to waste time. However, time should also be allocated for the newspaper. I wonder how others manage to read Kommersant every day. And if you just look through it, then what's the point?

No, really, there is something in such a life. Do something all the time, be on the rise, manage a thousand things. I know myself - if I relax, lower the bar, then that's it, I will stop respecting myself. If inspiration is lost, I buy Vogue or Cosmo: you read stories about women who combine career, family, hobbies and a visit to a manicurist in a light and easy way, and you feel the rise again! And the most pleasant thing is when, in a conversation with an unfamiliar person, it pops up that I have a family and a small child, and they are surprised in response how I can do it all. Yesterday, for example, a new intern of my age came to our work and noticed a photograph of her son and her husband on my desk. Then she asked if it was difficult to work and study with the child. To be honest, my sons ought to do more. The poor fellow is not to blame that his mother is so busy. Thank you boss for your understanding, I work 4 days a week, so my son does not forget how I look.

But on the other hand, I do it all for him.

If I study in the evening, then I tumble home at eleven o'clock. Thank you for even though your beloved is the only one not sleeping, waiting. So far, he meekly puts the child to bed, while his mother leads an active spiritual life, for which one more thanks to him. I ought to sit at the computer, in two weeks make a presentation on branding. No not today. The eyes close. I have to get up early tomorrow.

I have everything - a wonderful loving husband, a wonderful son, a wonderful job, a prestigious study, another wonderful job, another wonderful study. I wear size 44, and my cosmetics are expensive, and my bag was bought by John Lewis (I still don't believe I paid so much for an accessory, but since I saw that stunning "chest" in Mulberry priced at 1100 cu, I realized that I am still far from a really expensive bag). The only thing I don't have is the strength to enjoy all this. Unless now, while I am writing this article, my family is asleep, and at other times I rarely manage to work quietly. Three years is a difficult age. And so what if it's almost one in the morning. Life is too short to kill it for sleep. And to make it possible to have it all.

Maybe I've read too many glossy magazines in my life.