"I agree": how to learn to say "yes"

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

It would seem, why learn to say "yes"? But with "no" everything is clear: here is the ability to refuse lovers to sit on your neck, and the ability to listen to your needs and desires. And you don’t have to bother with “yes”: if you want, you agree, if you don’t want, you shake your head from side to side.

But in fact, if you just look at your behavior, you will understand that hundreds of opportunities are missed by you every day due to the inability to agree with what you so want to agree with. And then self-flagellation begins, pouring from empty to empty and rhetorical questions into emptiness: “Well, why did I refuse again? What prevented you from being sincere?"

123RF / Evgeniia Kuzmich

“Yes” is not just a word, “yes” is a state of mind. When we agree with something and are ready to accept all the possible consequences of our consent, we easily rush into the pool headlong.

For example, a colleague invites us to go to a cafe with her at lunch. We look at a container of soup that we brought from home, understand that we don’t feel like eating soup at all, imagine ordering a delicious fresh salad, mentally counting the money in our wallet and, after weighing all the pros and cons, we agree.

This is an easy choice, "yes" was given to us simply, we didn't even have to think too much. But in addition to such trifling situations, we are daily surrounded by others - more serious, important ones, in which a small nod of our head could solve many problems, but we prefer to just shake it from side to side, making our life difficult and confusing. Let's figure out in which cases it is still worth saying "yes" to yourself and others and how to learn how to do it.

Yes, I like you

We are afraid to seem approachable, we want to create in men's eyes the image of a precious trophy to fight for, and sometimes we get too carried away. Often, women do not dare to respond to the feelings of their boyfriend, believing that he has not yet “worked hard” enough, that as soon as the long-awaited “yes” is received, the gentleman will immediately go to conquer a new peak. Unfortunately, some men get tired of this “pickling” and back up.

What to do? Of course, you shouldn't rush on the neck of the first man who smiled at you, shouting: “I agree, I'm all yours,” but you don't need to torture a fan if you really like him either. After all, love is not a game, and if you see that a person is serious about you, then stop being afraid and boldly immerse yourself in a new dizzying romance.

Shot from the TV series "Sex and the City"

Yes, you offended me

Failure to acknowledge the fact that someone has hurt you is another problem for a good half of the female population. Moreover, it concerns not only relations with a man, but also girlfriends, family and even colleagues. “They carry water to the offended,” you were told in childhood. So you have decided that some unpleasant words and actions directed at you can be "swallowed", nothing bad will happen. This is repeated over and over again, the hidden resentment does not disappear anywhere, relations with others become more and more tense, and, finally, one day you "explode."

What to do? As soon as you decide to silence the resentment once again, imagine what this might turn out to be in the future. If you do not want to become a victim of depression, hysteria, and also understand that it is necessary to point out to a person his mistake in order to avoid repeating it, then take courage and say: "Yes, you offended me."

Yes, I want to try

You are invited to a new place of work, you are offered an excellent position, a decent salary, but you are afraid. You understand that, perhaps, such a chance falls only to a few, but you cannot imagine how it is to get up from your familiar place and go towards the unknown. What if it doesn't work out, what if the team doesn't accept it? No, it’s better to leave it as it is. This is at least quieter. Although, to be honest, it's already pretty tired.

What to do? First of all, learn to objectively weigh the pros and cons. If a new proposal scares you, but you understand that if it weren't for this fear, you would easily agree, then you should agree. We miss out on so many opportunities every day that our hair stands on end. Therefore, experiment, move forward and achieve your goals.

123RF / Viacheslav Iakobchuk

Yes I can

Lose weight, grow long hair, earn money for a car. When we say this, we seem to take responsibility for everything that happens next. We overcome our fear of failure and readily embark on a long journey that, of course, will not be easy, but upon completion will make us happy. If you are passionate about losing weight, but are not ready to promise yourself and others that you will succeed, you yourself allow yourself to give up. And give up.

What to do? Stop looking for excuses, imagine the end result, fall in love with it, and then ask yourself: “Can't I do what, in turn, will make me happy? Am I not going to be able to stick to proper nutrition and exercise every other day in the name of a high goal? Am I somehow worse than others - those who even now can go to the beach in an open swimsuit? " And when you realize that it is not as difficult as it seems, and absolutely everything is within your power, you will say to yourself: "Yes, I can!"