Housing problem

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

My sister is 26 years old. A year ago she got married and gave birth to a son. They live with their husband, in his three-room apartment on the top floor of an embroidered five-story building, in an entrance chosen by homeless people. With them live his mother, sister with a diagnosis"

Why am I describing this? And to the fact that Sveta has a mother who lives in a spacious, bright two-room apartment in a new house in a good area. But Sveta categorically refuses to live in her father's house, preferring her mother-in-law's overcrowded apartment.

The notorious housing issue, which has ruined the lives of more than one generation of young families, has become especially acute today, when it is almost impossible to get municipal housing, and to buy it is generally unrealistic. Most. Everyone at least once made simple calculations in their minds: a meter of living space costs from $ 250, a modest apartment is 30 meters long, no less. And then he thoughtfully scratched his head, figuring out how much he needed to earn in order to eat something, and live somewhere, and somehow dress, and put aside something - in order to buy the coveted housing. Anyone. The main thing is yours. Without dad, mom, and brother with a stereo system.

Young families face this problem most often, because if in search of independence a guy can separate from his parents and rent something within his means, then a family presupposes independence. A young wife wants to cook in her kitchen, sweep her linoleum, buy a blanket for her ottoman, in general, build her nest. And so that the hostess does not come once a month, checking the contents of all cabinets and cupboards. Moreover, she took half of her monthly salary for it. Therefore, an alternative to rented housing is a separate room for one of the spouses in the parents' apartment.

This is where the problems begin. Being under the same roof with mom and dad is one of the first tests a young family is subjected to. There are several unforeseen difficulties:

1 … At night it is embarrassing to make love, because the walls are thin, the bed creaks, and there is no strength to restrain a groan in the passionate embrace of her beloved husband.

2. The question of money is painfully resolved: to pay or not for food, if you pay, then how much; if you eat separately, then where to get an extra refrigerator, if not, then where to store the food so that no one accidentally eats it, etc.

3. Two housewives will have to get along in the same kitchen, who will argue about when to salt the potatoes and how to clean the fish, from the head or from the tail.

4. It's not easy to retire if you're tired or just don't want to see anyone. Even a mother will periodically come into a separate room with an offer to eat something, then a sister asking to solve a problem for her, then someone else with a desire to communicate.

5. You will still be dependent on your parents: despite your assurances that you are an adult married woman, your mother will still not go to bed until you get home, and your grandmother will scold for a short skirt and the light in the toilet.

Moreover, there is a certain paradox. The better your relationship with your parents, the harder it is for you to live under one roof. It is much easier to lock yourself away from your hated mother-in-law in your husband's room and not see or hear (this is exactly what my sister does). And to your own mother, who looks at you incomprehensibly: "Well, why did you buy this pizza, how much money did you put out, and there is stew at home?"

I really love my mom. She is my closest person. But if my husband and I were not lucky and did not have our apartment, then I would prefer to live in a rented apartment. Despite the fact that my husband's parents are also wonderful people. One fine day, when both families were invited to our housewarming party, convinced me of this once again. I washed dishes at the sink, and my mother in a festive dress could not come to terms with the status of a guest. "How do you wring out a rag, where do your hands grow from?" "Let me cut the salad, I can do it faster." "Why such big plates, get smaller ones." Etc. Maybe she was right, I'm new to housekeeping. But I would not want my husband to hear this about me, to whom I intend to become the best wife in the world.

I come home and know that if I wash the dishes not now, but in three hours, no one will look at me with a mute reproach. And if you wanted to show tenderness to your spouse, then you do not have to gravely (so that no one would guess) go into the room, lock yourself in and turn on the music at full power. And if he kisses me, then let him not be afraid that someone may be near. And when I feel bad, you can throw your shoes along the corridor with impunity, without running into the sympathetic questions of mom, dad, grandfather, grandmother, sister, niece and niece's friend. And then quietly put everything in place and go to cook for dinner the avocado salad, which I love, and the vegetable stew, which my husband loves.

So I understand well a sister who does not want to live with her mother …