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Often, after waiting for such a long-awaited pregnancy or childbirth, a woman is faced with a problem - the cold attitude of her husband. Does this make wives wonder why my husband has lost interest in me?
First of all, don't panic, you need to find out why this is happening. Let's see what the reasons might be.
The main reason for the cooling of husbands in relation to pregnant women is the changed intimate life, and in some cases its absence. Also, many are confused by the change in the appearance of the wife. To many, she no longer seems as slender and attractive as before pregnancy.
“My husband has lost interest in me, what should I do now? Maybe he got another one? " Such thoughts are often visited by pregnant women and young mothers. But situations are often much more commonplace. There are several reasons for the cold attitude of a husband to his wife during this period. Let's consider the main ones.
If there is a baby in the house who cries at night and needs extra care, everyone gets tired. If in the first year of life the wife mainly takes care of the household and the baby, then the young dad also goes to work, takes care of his wife and baby and does not sleep at night just like the spouse.
Sometimes a lack of attention on the part of a spouse means that he does not want to waste precious energy and time, and sometimes he is simply lazy, which is explained by fatigue.
Changes with age
The fact that a 25-year-old husband doesn't want to pay attention to you and spend time together is strange, but if he is in his 40s, then you should not be surprised. A mature and adult man often thinks first of all about work and providing for his family. With the birth of a child, new items of expenditure appear, and therefore sometimes husbands have to think about part-time work and new sources of income, about how to make the family's life even more comfortable.
If your husband has cooled down to you after giving birth, the reason may be that he sees you as a mother, and not a woman. Your husband, without realizing it, draws a parallel between her care many years ago and your care for the child. Both during pregnancy and after childbirth, he sees in you a housewife, a mother who is constantly and everywhere busy with thoughts of the child.
You stop attracting him outwardly
The body changes a lot during pregnancy and after childbirth. A woman is gaining weight, she has stretch marks, cellulite becomes more noticeable. In addition, women often no longer take care of themselves the way they used to: no fitness, no face masks, no dresses, no high-heeled shoes.
Regardless of the reason, do not rush to file for divorce. You can start with a casual conversation with your partner.
How to talk to your husband
Very few women know how to properly approach the discussion of such a delicate issue. Often they begin to cry, make trouble, try to gain self-pity and even manipulate their husband with the help of a child. It is not right.
Psychologists advise not to play with emotions and feelings, not to cry and not to quarrel with your husband. Here are some tips for starting a sensitive conversation:
- Don't cry and be as calm as possible. Emotions will only spoil everything, talking with a husband in a state of passion is meaningless. If you're out of control, have chamomile or valerian tea before talking.
- Don't blame your spouse. If the conversation begins with accusations, the opponent will not want to continue the dialogue. Ask calmly how you can get back intimacy with your husband, what happened and what needs to be done.
- Don't take full responsibility. If there are problems in a relationship, then both parties must work to resolve them.
What to do
The methods described below are not a hard plan, but rather a rough outline that needs to be worked on to understand how the problem might be solved. Let's analyze the advice of psychologists on how to act in each situation.
Husband repulses your appearance during pregnancy
Wives sometimes turn to a psychotherapist with the words: "Help me find the reasons why my husband has lost interest in me?" And many experts, in response, ask the fair sex if they have changed a lot after acquiring their special status.
So that your husband does not change his attitude towards you during pregnancy, tell him about the new impressions that women are experiencing during this unique period. If your round and fast growing belly pushes him away, don't think about it. Both you and he should understand that these nine months are a special time in your life, and they should be treated with respect.
A common occurrence after childbirth is a husband's lack of interest in his wife due to lack of sleep and workload. If fatigue is the cause, relieve your partner of some of his responsibilities. Do not let him get very tired after giving birth and get up at night with the baby.
If the spouse has cooled down to you after childbirth due to emotional stress, then he can only be eliminated with special medications. But if the situation hasn't gone far, try to provide delicious food, a comfortable environment, peace and love.
Shapeless dressing gowns, curlers, and constant conversations about your baby don't make you attractive to your husband. Don't talk about the baby around the clock. Before you got pregnant, you had problems that were important for you to talk about. So why are you only talking about diapers now?
Start taking care of yourself again. If you can't go to the gym yet, then do the exercises at home, in addition, there are many videos on the Internet now on how to get your body in order.
- Whatever the reason, it's important not to dramatize the situation.
- You, like any person, are not alien to mistakes, fatigue and health problems. For this reason, you shouldn't always blame only yourself. Both have to work on the relationship.
- Talk to your husband, show him that you care about the situation and are willing to work hard to improve your relationship. And everything will definitely work out.