Perfect wife

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

O. Wilde. "Ideal husband"

Are there ideal wives? In attempts to answer, some become sad and silent for a long time, recalling the love-marriage experience of many friends, acquaintances and relatives. Some cheerfully say that, of course, there are - and cite an example from their own biography of kindergarten times or an episode from a classic American melodrama. But the most interesting thing is that underneath"

What is the ideal spouse? What should you be for your husband to think: "Yes! Indeed, She is an ideal woman!" - regardless of whether you have a model appearance and economic inclinations? Despite the widespread belief that opposites are attracted, practice shows that most of us are looking for partners who are somewhat similar to us. Whether it is intelligence, sense of humor or business acumen is not so important - but what we love in ourselves, we tend to appreciate in a partner. So what should you be in order for your companion to be just as perfect, the relationship developed optimally, and you yourself could successfully claim the title of "ideal wife"?

In search of an answer, I interviewed several married men: the results exceeded all expectations! It turns out that the concept of "public opinion", if not outdated, then at least has become very blurred: in different families, husbands want strictly opposite things and see absolutely different female images as an ideal. Look for yourself: "" - this is the opinion of Igor, 25 years old, actor. "", - the opinion of Vladimir, 27 years old, a lawyer.

Or this point of view: "", - Georgy, 32 years old, an entrepreneur.

And the following episode made the biggest impression on me: one evening I called a married friend, her husband came to the phone - I greeted and asked if my friend was at home. He laughed merrily, said: "No, she went to the disco," and handed her the phone. The thought of the absence of his half at home in the evening seemed humorous to him!..

In many ways, the image of the "ideal wife" is imposed: by the cinema, popular brochures, "ladies'" literature and the stories of friends. Often we are under social hypnosis or become prisoners of "serial" patterns. And the discrepancy between your own personality and the declared ideal, which many girls feel acutely, can turn into stress. After all, if you compare yourself with someone else all the time, you can endlessly find flaws in yourself … Think about which real or fictional characters seem ideal to you. What exactly seems attractive about them, and are you so sure that you should develop these traits in yourself? You may have been reading Gone with the Wind for many years and admiring Scarlett O'Hara, but are you sure that you would like to be a wife like her?..

Ideal people (as well as ideal relationships) are subjective. Something individual suits each person, and what seems perfect to one may seem like a gray commonplace to another. And instead of reproaching yourself for the ability to cook only semi-finished products, the inability to modernize the Kama Sutra and the unwillingness to iron men's shirts - think that you - as you are - can be an object of sincere admiration for someone. Even if you don't fit into any standards …

The traditional myth of the "ideal wife" has lived for centuries and has a fairly clear outline. What are the expectations that force us to change ourselves? What must we correspond to in order not to fall in men's and public eyes?

Myth one - kitchen

Smiling young ladies, surrounded by beautiful husbands, sleek children and dumplings, pies, salads, tenderly looked at us from TV screens and firmly entered our lives. The old anecdote about a wife meeting her husband with a rolling pin - "You bake everything, dear" - has acquired a new, completely culinary sense. This is how the problem arose: a modern girl (read: a good wife) must certainly be able to and love to cook, and most importantly, do it all the time. Moreover, "cooking" does not mean heating frozen vegetables, cooking sausages and ordering pizza on the Internet, but the ability to provide a complete, varied and laborious menu. Of course, the ability to cook deliciously is an amazing skill, but if you are working for a myth in the logic of "it is served", because it is so accepted, and your man takes it for granted every day, then there is a chance that instead of an "ideal wife" you will soon turn into a wretched housewife.

Myth two - work

A quality wife is practically a profession. But many believe that such a profession is the main thing that a woman should be able to do. The rest is secondary. If in the family financial issues do not take the first place, then the traditional male point of view looks something like this: "I do not mind her working - she needs to keep herself busy with something." It is out of the question for the "ideal wife" to truly realize herself outside the family space. Her real job is to clean, wash, iron, water, and vacuum. Is there a housekeeper? Then - pick up one child from kindergarten, do homework with the other, feed the cat and walk the dog. Is there a governess? Well, then - just buy an evening newspaper and, at any rustle, put off knitting and rush to the door waiting for your husband … Being a loving and devoted woman is great, but are you ready for the fact that you can dissolve without a trace in your chosen one? And if you imagine for a minute that you someday will part, what will you be left with if you have nothing but him?..

The third myth is freedom

From the moment when two people registered their relationship, the world around them is changing. There are no more "his friends" and "her girlfriends" (or vice versa: "his girlfriends" and "her friends"), his hobbies and her hobbies. Everything is automatically shared. The "ideal wife" can attend unaccompanied unless a bachelorette party planned for a year, having previously promised that the party will take place without the participation of a stripper. Moreover, it is more likely not about prohibitions, but about the difficulty of imagining - by herself or through the eyes of a spouse - the opportunity, for example, to have fun all night in a club, spend a weekend at the dacha with an old friend, go to rest without the other half … Traditional "ideal wives" live in male interests and do not show attention to anyone or anything else - the husband is an honestly won and carefully guarded trophy. How many women do you know who are willing to spend time and energy on something outside the family?..

The fourth myth - men

In the life of an "ideal wife" there is only one man - the husband. A minimum of communication with the opposite sex, no meetings with friends and, moreover, former lovers. The biography is clearly divided into two stages: "before" and "after" marriage. Men "before" were needed as a means, men "after" are not relevant. It is wonderful to be a faithful wife, but are you ready for the fact that the boundaries of the Universe will narrow down to the contours of one man?..

It seems that the "ideal wife" is really just a myth, and probably not the most successful one. You can try to live up to it, breaking yourself for the sake of traditions, or you can come up with your own rules of the game, in which you will become not so much an ideal as a unique wife. And then you will be able to fill the concept of "ideal wife" with your own - individual - meaning …