He was older than her, she was young

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

I felt like an adult: I was graduating from college and doing creative practice at the same film studio. By my twenties, I already realized that the degree of interest of a person does not depend on his age, that among my peers there are a lot of intriguingly fascinating men who are ready to give a hundred points ahead to any aging Don Juan. But at the studio I didn’t know - I suddenly fell under the charm of adult age, experience and, of course, “fame”.

At first, I fell in love with everyone, being unable to refrain from feelings for people whom I was accustomed to seeing on the screen since childhood, and feelings for them were also akin to a childhood habit. But then I seriously and truly fell in love with the person whom I first hated.

His name was Oleg. He was already under 50, but in this environment it was not customary to use middle names, and I, at 23, also called him simply Oleg. He was a director who sometimes acted in his own films. Not very popular among the masses, which is called "widely known in narrow circles." But there was an abyss of charisma in him, mixed with rudeness, cynicism and great experience in matters of vodka and women. He obviously began to screw me up from the first day of his acquaintance, moreover, not touchingly courting, but in constant attempts to embarrass, annoy, and so on.

Once he came to the studio and said: "I wrote a brilliant verse, especially for Zhenya, but listen to everyone:" I want Eugene, right up to awesomeness "…

Everyone laughed, and I got angry and blurted out something like: he is a fool! And so it went, Oleg foolishly joked, all the time touching and teasing me, I snapped and quietly hated. And once, when Oleg tried to foist money on me in front of everyone, so that I “didn’t roam about public transport, but drove like a man in wheelbarrows,” I considered myself so insulted that I could not stand it and burst into tears. Everyone around me began to fuss and calm down, but Oleg dispersed everyone, wiped my tears, took me to his car, silently drove me home (even then I was surprised - how does he know my address). When I also silently opened the door of the car, he took my hand and said: "Excuse me, girl, I am so bad because I am afraid that this is serious with me, I am afraid to fall in love with you …"

Since then, something has changed in our relationship. Oleg began to treat me very carefully, stopped being rude and cynical, he was waiting for me to take me home. And there was something strange about these trips, we were silent all the way, but sometimes at the traffic lights he looked at me for a long time, and everything in me turned upside down, and I wanted to shout: take me to your place! But I was silent, and he drove me to my house.

Later, Oleg suddenly, in the middle of the way, without looking at me, said: "Come to me!" - I was confused and said: "No! Never in my life!" Oleg fell silent, we drove again to my entrance. The car stopped, but I was in no hurry to get out of it. We sat in silence for a few minutes, and then went to him …

There were many pleasantries in this novel. I felt like a little spoiled girl, I was not even allowed to make tea. For several weeks of our romance, I lived in an atmosphere of "enhanced comfort". They fiddled with me, cradled me, touched me. But there were also disadvantages …

I was insanely embarrassed about this relationship, I was ready to just kill Oleg at any seeming hint of advertising them, and he, of course, wanted to brag about a young girl, and when we met at the studio, he tried to lay claim to me. After some time, I realized that in Oleg's eyes my age has a special charm, considering himself a fairly young and full of strength man, Oleg needed external confirmation of these qualities. One of the attributes of his "never-ending youth" was an affair with me - young and inexperienced. This was the first minus of our relationship, the rest appeared later.

Oleg too often assigned me the role of a grateful audience, shared his ideas, complained about competitors, assured me that his creative failures were the product of the activities of untalented envious people, while I was supposed to nod and assent. If I did not agree with him, and tried to argue that this or that director is a genius, Oleg's eyes grew dim and stopped, he declared that I was too young to understand this, that I had to obey him. He wanted me to be such a soft "plasticine clay", from which he can sculpt, or can sculpt, he was not at all interested in my opinion on this or that account. If I suddenly blurted out something not devoid of meaning, he always sarcastically asked: "Who has the idea stolen from?" It was all humorous and harmless.

But once I realized that Oleg is simply a boastful loser, and for him I am almost the only chance to convince myself that he is an adult, intelligent, authoritative. Understanding came later, and then I was so in love not with the director-actor-genius, but with the aging man with all his wealth and unworthiness that I closed my eyes to many things and tried to correspond to the image that he was trying to sculpt out of me.

The romance ended very quickly. Everything flared up and then went out. As soon as I stopped being an obstinate girl, I started spending my evenings at home waiting for his call, abandoned my college friends to always be free at the moment when Oleg wants to call me …

As soon as Oleg realized these changes and felt that I was always at hand, that's it! - he got bored with it. And I still remember with horror our last scene, how I sobbed on his shoulder, and he consoled me for the last time and said: “Well, nothing, girl, you still have ahead of you that because of an old fool to get upset ?"

And I remember with horror, because when I moved away from this and "recovered" I really did not understand - that I was so upset because of the old fool?