The laws of female behavior and their practical application

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

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Let us recall Russian folk tales: one needed Finist's pen, the other a scarlet flower. The Frenchwoman Little Red Riding Hood was forbidden to talk to a wolf in the forest, but she did not obey; Father did not allow three German princesses to go to the underworld - but they did. Women around the world are credited with grace, charm, but also arrogance, inconstancy, cunning, inconsistency. Of course, men are credited. And they make fun of our "feminine logic". Although, if we recall Through the Looking Glass and the crazy tea drinking, then the girl Alice looks the most reasonable and logical - from the point of view of everyday logic.

“Have some more tea,” said the March Hare, bending over to Alice.

- Yet? - Alice asked with resentment. - I haven't drank anything yet.

And here are some of the laws of female behavior. "A woman needs a constant festivity of a miracle, albeit a small one, but without fail for her sake." … Send a Gascon to England for pendants, pick snowdrops in winter, build a crystal bridge overnight. It is not clear only why the Greeks allowed the fact that Hercules performed his twelve labors to the glory of some evil king ?! Even if a woman just innocently dreams, men truly work wonders.

Empress Anna Ioanovna, living in the palace in Lefortovo, once said:

- Beautiful place. Now, if only there was a grove in front of the windows!

The next morning, on the site of a bare field, a grove rose - so ordered the Duke of Biron.

"For a woman, the usual desire for order in everyday life borders on pettiness." … Do you want an example? Please! A German friend of mine told me about a girl's birthday. The guests have gathered. Her husband presented her with a gorgeous bouquet of roses. Then everyone drank champagne and had fun, and the husband accidentally dropped his wife's favorite cactus from the windowsill, breaking the pot. The hero of the occasion whipped him with a freshly presented bouquet and threw him out. The poor fellow had been out for two hours.

"A woman always knows what she wants, but never knows what she wants." … This law is well illustrated by O. Henry's story. A pregnant woman, late at night, on the eve of Christmas, asks her husband to find her lemons. "Maybe an orange, dear? There are a lot of them now, but you can't find lemons!" But the woman wants lemons. The husband has been looking for them all night. And now he was lucky, he finds a lemon left somewhere on the festive table, brings it home. And the wife: "There would be an orange." But this "dear" is just an innocent child compared to the old woman, receiving the coveted "lemons" she wanted to become the mistress of the sea. Although why not sometimes give in to a woman?

Once I was on a train and watched the following scene. Tradeswomen are walking around the car, offering mittens and shawls, "for a beloved woman, nothing is a pity!" The downtrodden woman with a tear in her voice asks: "Petya, buy it!" Petya, having learned that the mittens cost fifty rubles, bargains, but his aunt does not concede. Petya lashes out at his wife in a rage:

- You have! My mother gave!

- Those for every day will be, and these, little white ones, on the way out!

Petya is indignant:

- Maybe you still have leather gloves to buy ?!

And if I were this woman, I would forever leave her husband without gifts on February 23rd and without "sweet", and I myself would have found Vasya, who would give me three times more mittens than I ask, and in addition a downy shawl. And it would not be bad at all if the law worked in such cases "If a woman asks for something, then you have to give her, otherwise she will take it herself.".

"Women are full of prejudices" … A famous but very young professor once diagnosed a patient with decompensated heart disease. Even famous athletes live with this diagnosis. To cheer up the patient, he joked: "You don't have to worry about your heart at all - you won't die before me, and if we die, then together." The next day, the professor died suddenly. After a few hours, the woman's heart stopped. It seems that the writer O. Henry specialized in women's whims. He also has a story "The Last Leaf". The sick girl suggested to herself that she would die when the last leaf fell from the ivy. And the artist neighbor painted the same sheet on the wall visible from her window. When dawn broke, the girl saw the leaf in its usual place and lay for a long time, not taking her eyes off it.

Whatever the law of female behavior, it is a paradox. “A woman’s lips always lie, but her actions are always truthful”, “When communicating with a woman, one must be careful in speeches, and in actions courageous,” “when a woman is under the rule of a man, she fights for her freedom, but when she dominates, she wants to obey "," a woman's submissive smile splits the granite ".

More recently, in one of the Big Laundry shows, writer Arkady Vayner said that women only after a hundred years old can worry about their age, up to a hundred "they own everything in this sublunary world." None of these laws will ever disappear, we just want them to work for us.