The last judgment

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

- Stand up! The trial is coming! - said the small round judge menacingly, hitting the table with a hammer.

The accused, the prosecutor and a few spectators, consisting of a woman in a flowered apron and a cheeky ginger cat, stood up.

- V.'s case is being heard. He is accused of attempted theft and willful destruction of private property ….

- How is this intentional? And completely unintentional! What are you sewing for me? I know! That's all he is! - shouted the accused, moving with hatred towards the prosecutor, but the judge deftly leaned over his judicial table, grabbed the accused by the collar and sat him down.

- Another such incident … - trying to speak calmly, the judge said in an angry voice, - you will be removed from the courtroom, and your fate will be decided without you! I now give the floor to the prosecutor.

The prosecutor, who looked like a cunning caterpillar, began to wriggle.

- Your Honor! The guilt of this subject is obvious …

- Try to prove it! - screamed, apparently experienced in this kind of court proceedings, the accused.

- December 29, 2000 at 23 h. 10 min. the accused insidiously entered the apartment of V.'s family ….

- Lie! How could I sneak in there, if I live there! …

- This is beside the point … - the judge said in a strange way, nervously tapping his own tendons with a wooden mallet (this remark was clearly unpleasant for him).

- And you, Mr. Prosecutor, I will ask you to be clearer!

- Okay, Your Honor! So, the accused entered the office of the head of the family, where, as far as the court knows, he does not live, in order to steal a revolver - a family heirloom stored at the bottom of the most valuable Chinese vase, by the way, also a family heirloom. In a criminal impatience to take possession of the designated object, the accused touched the last relic …

- False!

- And broke it.

- Evidence? the judge asked wearily.

- Please! - the prosecutor perked up, presenting to the court the fragments that were once a Chinese vase.

Suddenly one of the spectators, seeing this evidence, (I mean a woman in a flowered dressing gown) let out a low, sad groan. The second viewer (I mean the impudent ginger cat) just yawned sadly, showing his huge pink mouth.

- So, - continued the prosecutor, - I think it will be quite fair, in accordance with the articles of the Criminal Code, to sentence citizen V. to imprisonment …

- Well, it's up to me to decide for how long to sentence this obol … accused! In the meantime, let's give the floor to him!

- Finally! - the accused jumped up. - Your Honor, I want you to take into account the fact that I have to defend myself, as my lawyer, who always represented my interests, refused to accept the defense!

The accused glanced guiltily towards the moaning woman in an apron. Apparently, she was the very protector.

- To business! - the judge pounded.

- They want to sew on the theft! But I wasn't going to steal anything!

- What is it called now? the prosecutor asked mockingly.

- I wanted to clean the revolver, tidy it up and put it back.

- Don't compose, accused! the judge said gloomily. - The revolver is regularly cleaned and kept in excellent condition.

- And I wanted it to be even better! Moreover, it is uncharged and never charged! Is this a crime? But I didn't break the vase! …

- Oh, that's how! This is already interesting! - the prosecutor deliberately laughed loudly, turning to the audience.

- Yes! That's all he is! - the accused said in a very truthful voice, pointing to a large ginger cat. - It's Him!

The cat did not even turn his head, only snorted contemptuously: all the insinuations of the accused were smashed against the self-confident red face.

- Your Honor! This is ridiculous! With all the desire, the cat could not break such a large vase! the prosecutor yelled.

- I could! - Citizen V. shouted. - He's so fat! Fed"

- Could not! - the prosecutor shouted even louder.

- Well, let's conduct an investigative experiment: take a cat, take another Chinese vase …

- No-oo-oo-oo! - the doomed cry of one of the spectators was heard (and, apparently, it was not a cat). - I will not survive one more vase!

- So my guilt has not been proven!

- It's up to me to decide! - the judge hit with a hammer. - And I'm tired of it! I sentence the defendant to three days' imprisonment in a closet and correctional labor in geometry …

- This is atrocity! - shouted citizen V.

The prosecutor grinned contentedly.

- Mama! - the accused rushed to the woman in a flowered apron. - Tomorrow New Year, and me in the closet ?! And this traitor will have fun ?!

- I'm a traitor ?! the prosecutor yelled. - Your Honor, please increase the penalty for contempt of court!

- Stop the hubbub! - the judge pounded furiously.

Suddenly it became quiet. Everyone stared at the woman in the flowered apron. She looked from the accused to the fragments of the Chinese vase, from the fragments to the accused, and this gaze increasingly lingered on the last, blond, blue-eyed, 12-year-old criminal. Eyes filled with pity, warmed and finally … gave up!

- Seryozha! Well, why go to the closet ?! she asked quietly.

- I ask you not to argue with the court! - said His Honor firmly.

- Well, Seryozhenka! Well, what are you really! A child is more valuable than a Chinese vase!

- Dad, don't give in! - the prosecutor growled, clenching his fists.

- And you shut up! Get more from me! Poison! the accused hissed.

- Seryozhenka! We haven't decorated the tree yet! …

- Ugh! … - the little round judge Seryozha, doomedly threw away the hammer for beating meat. - Again, the circus was staged from the court!

- Ur-r-r-ra! - shouted mother and citizen V.

It was a victory! Hissing like a snake and wriggling like a caterpillar, the prosecutor (he is also the elder brother) withdrew from the courtroom, whose role was temporarily played by Dad's office. The cat yawned sadly, thought a little and meowed loudly, insolently - it was time for dinner.

Anna Yablonskaya