4 ways to leave old grudges in the past year

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

“Let all the bad things remain in the old year” - such a wish sounds on December 31 more often than the usual “happiness, health”. At first glance, these words seem banal and "just to say", but if you think about it, you understand: how really great it would be to leave all the negativity in the past year. And we will show you how you can do it.

Of course, you cannot get rid of serious mental wounds in a couple of days. But nothing prevents you from at least starting

We have collected several psychological techniques, thanks to which you can free yourself from old resentments and unpleasant emotions and enter the New 2017 with a light heart.

1. Direct conversation

Do you know what the half of the grievances in your head are based on? On the understatement. An inadvertently thrown word, the question "what did you mean?"

Photo: 123 RF / Sebastian Gauert

Why not find out everything right now - before the New Year? Meet, call or write - it doesn't matter how exactly, but most importantly, talk to the one you harbor a grudge against. Tell us about your experiences, ask “why?”, Listen calmly and try to accept everything that the interlocutor says. You will see that half of your worries are not worth a damn. No wonder they say that sometimes only one conversation separates a person's happiness.

2. Out of sight

In many countries, before the New Year, it is customary to get rid of old trash. No "what if it comes in handy." In Italy, for example, people simply throw out unnecessary dishes, interior elements and even small-sized furniture from windows. Have you ever thought that this is a great way to free not only space in the apartment, but also your head from bad thoughts? We are not suggesting that you throw chairs out of the window of a high-rise building, but why not finally get rid of the things that remind you of your ex and your difficult breakup?

If it is about something expensive, place a classified ad. If they are old T-shirts or stupid postcards, just throw them in the trash can. You will see that the unpleasant emotions that you experienced bumping into this or that thing will instantly disappear.

3. Burn the negative

Psychologists say that this method is great for getting rid of negativity. Take a piece of paper, pen or pencil and write down all your grievances, fears and doubts. Do not use words, let thoughts flow freely. Write whatever comes to mind. Offended by a colleague? Are you angry with your husband? Do you blame yourself for rarely calling your mom? Afraid of losing your job? Write everything.

Photo: 123 RF / progressman

Ready? Now take matches or a lighter and burn all the negative written on the piece of paper. Shake out the remaining ash through the window. Someone is sure that the point is self-hypnosis. Others say that in this way we actually get rid of the negativity that has been accumulating in us for years. Be that as it may - such a ritual really helps. Not always the first time. Sometimes you have to repeat it over and over again, but you have to start somewhere. The main thing is to follow fire safety techniques so as not to add problems to yourself before the New Year.

4. Technique of an empty chair

You know that it is very important not to hush up grievances, but what if you cannot talk to the person who hurt you for some reason? Then the empty chair technique comes to the rescue. It's very simple: you need to stay alone in a room (or even better - in an apartment), put a chair in front of you and imagine that your abuser is sitting on it. Sit in front of you, choose a comfortable position and begin your monologue. Tell us about your feelings, cry, shout, throw pillows in the chair, you can even kick it if you want - throw out all the negative emotions that have lodged inside. You will see, at some point you will feel tired and empty. This will be a signal that the "session" was not in vain. Perhaps you want to repeat the "conversation with an empty chair" more than once or twice, you yourself will feel when enough is enough. The main thing is to allow yourself to release negativity, do not keep destructive emotions inside.

Despite the fact that the days before the New Year will be filled with work, buying gifts and hectic preparations for the holiday, try to devote at least a couple of hours to yourself. Let this time the wish “to leave everything bad in the old year” turn out to be not an empty phrase for you. With a little effort, you can enter 2017 a little happier than you were before.