5 reasons why a serious relationship doesn't work out

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

After a string of unsuccessful attempts to strike up a relationship, you seem to have made sure that there are so few good, responsible guys on the planet that it is easier to meet an alien. Perhaps she even gave up on plans to get married, decided to let everything go by itself. In the end, you can always pick up someone for the night if it becomes completely unbearable. Although … You can't fool yourself. Deep in your soul, you still continue to hope for some fabulous happy twist of fate …

There is a theory that like attracts like. Therefore, if on your way every now and then there are infantile guys or lovers of one-time adventures, then there is nothing to blame on the mirror, as the classic used to say. Perhaps it's all about yourself, and instead of looking around in search of the man of your dreams, you should first focus on yourself and correct something in your views and lifestyle.

Maybe one or more of the problems described below are yours (yours)?

You measure everyone by yourself

I didn’t accidentally notice such a paradox: as soon as a young man shows interest and asks for a date, how does your attitude towards him change? That is, at first you liked him, but after such a development of events, you start to come up with all sorts of reasons and excuses proving that he is not suitable for him or that he is not your match? Such a reaction suggests that your self-esteem is low and you, for some reason, stopped liking yourself. Therefore, you wind yourself up, whipping up questions like: "How can such a wonderful guy be interested in such a simpleton as me?" Or, on the contrary, you suspect that something is wrong with him, if he liked someone like you. In general, you initially think that you are unworthy of love, and do not believe any sincere manifestations of sympathy on the part of men.

What to do? Of course, understand that the things that make you unattractive to others exist mainly in your head. And, perhaps, learn to trust men more … Through acceptance of yourself as you are, understanding of others will come, and over time someone from the environment will not be so repulsive, and maybe even open and nice, if you look at him from -new.

Too rich fantasy

You want to date a guy. But what is there: you have long ago decided how your first meeting with him will happen, what you both will be dressed in, and what you will talk about on the first date. In your fantasies, you know him as flaky: who will he be by profession, where will he live, how old he will be! And then suddenly a good guy by all standards appears on your horizon and tries to get to know you. And a dilemma arises. After all, he does not look at all the way your imagination drew, does not work where you wanted, and not at all the age that the guy from your dreams. And it turns out that if you reciprocate this real guy, you will automatically destroy all your hidden fantasies and expectations!

What to do? Of course, it is very painful to be deprived of the illusions cherished over the years, but still it is required to courageously admit their inconsistency. Castles in the air can prevent you from falling in love - even with an imperfect, but made of blood and flesh - a real man.

You are unreliable

Perhaps your misconceptions about romantic relationships stem from a misunderstanding of friendship? When you meet a new friend, you immediately feel a kindred spirit that has a lot in common with you. It's so wonderful that soon your relationship moves to a different level - love and intimacy. While the honeymoon lasts, you feel cheerful and carefree, but as soon as the first minor conflicts arise, your attitude towards a person immediately changes dramatically. Instead of looking for a compromise, you simply leave the battlefield, which yesterday was a love bed, consider yourself mortally deceived and do not agree to any reconciliation. Instead of sorting out the relationship, reaching a new level, you prefer to cold-bloodedly delete the person from your life and start looking for someone who would ideally meet all your criteria. But this is only a temporary way out.

What to do? If you don't learn to forgive and understand, your new relationship is unlikely to last longer than your honeymoon.

You are very afraid to make a mistake in your choice

Fear of choice, fear of responsibility can fill all areas of your life. And then even an innocent invitation to the cinema on Saturday, made by a new admirer on Monday, can cause panic and spoil the mood for the whole week. "What if I miss out on something better because of this?" - such a thought will drive anyone to madness! From the fear of making the wrong choice, you can become numb for a long time and lose your resolve! With such a philosophy, it will be difficult for you in the future to even make a choice of a dish in a restaurant!

What to do? Do not hesitate for a long time, otherwise you will look like Buridan's donkey, which died of hunger, and did not decide which bunch of hay to eat first. Learn to make choices without hesitation. Imperfect choice is better than no choice.

You are always busy

You work without unbending! When people ask how you spend your free time, you proudly answer: “I work very hard! I have no free time! - as if it were some kind of great dignity! You are like a squirrel in a wheel: from the early morning you are already on your feet, in order to have time to work on several important projects, you also need to take part in a seminar, attend a training, a corporate event, then you can go to an animal shelter, where you work as a volunteer in rare free moments, and at the end of the working day find yourself at some exhibition or tasting. But if, God forbid, at least one extra minute falls out - you immediately begin to kill her using Facebook, Twitter or by giving orders to subordinates by phone …

What to do? Workaholism - an obsessive desire to work - is not as harmless as it seems at first. Being totally busy can prevent you from enjoying the truly meaningful things in a woman's life. Be sure to leave enough time in your schedule for yourself, for meeting someone interesting, and just to enjoy life in peace.