Romance after 10 years of marriage

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Is it possible to preserve the romance of a relationship after living for ten years in marriage? I daresay yes. But you will have to try very hard, and both spouses. I have a friend. So she constantly complains about her husband. Doesn't give flowers. Doesn't give compliments. Doesn't drive to a restaurant. There is no romance left … I ask her: "What are you doing for him?" She indignantly: “Why should I? He's a man …"

I myself have only been married for nine years. We met for several months, then began to live together, and three years later we got married.

I remember the first year of our civil marriage - sheer romance! No money, we live with my mom. But once a week (my mother was leaving for her friend), a candlelit dinner was obligatory. From one Bush leg and a handful of mushrooms, I cooked a julienne. I bought the cheapest candles from the hardware store and cut them to make many small ones. I put them around the room to make it look like a movie. My common-law husband, meanwhile, was running around the shops, looking for wine that we could afford, and some trinket for me.

We took a bath together. Did the cleaning. Cooking. They were always inventing something to make their life, difficult in material terms, easier. Once a stump was brought from the forest, intending to grow oyster mushrooms in it. And there was romance in that too. In ordinary everyday life.

It’s not like that now. I will not say that it is bad, but not so … But we try not to lose our romanticism. Don't just become good buddies under the same roof. Together we go fishing with an overnight stay. We go to the skating rink. In a restaurant. Of course, dinners there are not as romantic as those from the distant past, but still …

And we always celebrate the day of our acquaintance - June 23. We got to know each other ten years ago. We met at a street disco on the occasion of Youth Day. Now we joke: "The drunkenness spun - you can't choose!" (a phrase from the movie "Love and Doves"). But every year on June 23 we go with champagne either to the river or to the same disco. Or we sit on the balcony, light candles and sit until night, remembering "youth".

I have two acquaintances couples who have lived together for more than fifteen years (I am not considering elderly people, only my peers). The one and the other have two children. Outwardly - complete harmony. In pair number one, the husband constantly devotes songs to his wife, he is a musician. I remember celebrating her birthday. He took the microphone and sang a romance. Composed especially for her. And how he looked! And how tenderly he hugged when, during the loss, he invited me to dance. All the guests were moved. Many women were jealous of the lucky woman. And only we, the closest friends, knew that two days before the celebration there was a scandal in the family. Due to the fact that the loving spouse did not come to spend the night, and when he did, some woman called him on his cell phone. And this was not the first time.

The husband constantly disappears with friends, then with "fans". And when he comes home, he falls at the feet of his wife, screams about his love. She invariably forgives him. In gratitude, he composes a song for her …

Here is such a romance!

In the second pair, everything is different. The husband behaves perfectly. If he walks, then carefully. And she loves to surprise her wife. Once for a wedding anniversary, he ordered a set of jewelry for his wife. Knowing that she loved lilies, he drew a sketch, found a jeweler to make a bracelet, pendant and ring with floral designs. They celebrated their anniversary on the train returning from the resort. Spouse at the station ran for flowers. Of course, lilies. Then he asked the conductor from the next car, when the train started to move, to go to their compartment and give his wife a bouquet and a box with a present. He fulfilled the request.

The surprise was a success! But my wife did not appreciate it. She thanked her spouse with restraint, tried on jewelry, said: beautiful. Oh, how he was offended. Then he told me how long it took him to come up with the design, how meticulously he chose the stones, how, when the products were ready, he hid them for ten days in order to present them on the anniversary. “And for what? - he was indignant. - To hear the mean: "Thank you, beautiful"? " He pouted for a long time.

But, fortunately, that incident did not discourage the man from making surprises for his wife. True, now he, as they say now, does not bother. He just buys a ring or perfume in the store and gives it away. And the wife is still unhappy. She doesn't like impractical gifts. And I would have preferred a food processor, or better money. And flowers can be collected in the field. They are no less beautiful, but free.

“When he gave me thirty-five roses for my 35th birthday,” she shared with me, “I could hardly restrain myself from yelling. This is three and a half thousand rubles. We were tight with money then. I walked barefoot. I needed shoes, not a broom …"

These are two different pairs. And quite happy. Not cloudless. And each in its own way. But whoever says that there is no romance in the relationship of these people, let the first one throw a stone at me …