New life in the new year. Part three: harmony

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Happy New Year, dear readers of Cleo! Today we are publishing the latest in a series of expert tips. We hope you will be even happier and more beautiful in 2018.

Earlier we talked about health and beauty. The harmony of external and internal completes the road to a new life, which will help you to shine like a pearl!

Finding a new look

Sense of style is a rationally elusive and poorly explicable category. We cannot give a clear description of the phenomenon, but its presence or absence will always be noticed by others.

Stylist Olga Malysheva:

The first thing to do is to learn how to style your appearance with taste. Our task is to create a complete visual image, upon reaching which you will receive a lot of compliments from others!

A complete visual image cannot be found in display cases with clothes, in girlfriends' wardrobes or in magazines. Trendy high-waisted skinny shoes, shoes with chunky soles, oversized clothes, asymmetrical hairstyles with shaved areas, coats with sneakers, large lips and overly highlighted cheekbones - all this may be relevant, but not for everyone, and does not suit many at all.

The whole image is your personality, what makes you unique. Therefore, it is so important to study yourself and your desires well.

Feel the nature of your physical appearance, mannerisms, and dressing habits. Choose what your soul is about, but at the same time the thing should be in harmony with your appearance and improve it.

123RF / Alena Ozerova

The second piece of advice was given by Coco Chanel many years ago: "If a woman does not become a beauty by the age of 30, she is a fool." The meaning of this daring phrase is to learn to present yourself effectively in accordance with age, physical characteristics, situation, fashion and environment at the same time. This skill is applied intelligence in the field of beauty. It comes from reading books, broadening one's horizons, from contemplating objects of art.

When the external is a reflection of the accumulated internal wealth, then over the years women look better. Intelligence, warm charm, outlook, baggage of impressions make the image attractive.

Building a dream relationship

Psychologist Maria Arkhangelskaya:

Most often, the relationship between a man and a woman is built on the basis of falling in love, not love. When the first emotions pass (they can last for a maximum of three years), the partner we have chosen appears before us with all the flaws and flaws.

If you strive for a stable relationship, it is very important not to turn on your feelings to the fullest right away, but to consider the man you have chosen in terms of his life goals and values, and only then get closer. A little advice - if you understand that a person can be your friend, it makes sense to build a long-term relationship with him.

123RF / everst

When deciding on a new relationship, pay attention to the following:

The external attraction of a partner is specific to you

Do not discount your seemingly meaningless ideas about your appearance. The external traits that attract us are programmed in the so-called "reptilian" brain, one of the most ancient structures of the central nervous system. It is impossible to force yourself to love the dark ones if you are attracted to the blonde ones. Physically, a woman is attracted to those men who are genetically most distant from her. This is designed by nature in order to avoid the birth of children with serious illnesses. If you choose partners that are similar to your first love, that's okay.

Look for outwardly attractive people who suit you sexually and with whom you look in the same direction in life.

We openly look at the shortcomings

The conventional wisdom that we fall in love with flaws has every right to life. In another person, those qualities that were in our parents and that hurt us in childhood turn out to be attractive. As adults, we look for them in other people, trying to work them out. It seems to us that after that we will be able to return to the “lost paradise”.

It is they who stimulate the production of hormones, start falling in love. But it is important to remember that a psychologically healthy woman falls in love with men who demonstrate significant “shortcomings” for her in relation to other people, and not in relation to herself.

Drawing the line between falling in love and love

The emotional background has nothing to do with true love. The high intensity of passions is a dopamine reaction that is characteristic of falling in love.

123RF / Vasyl Dolmatov

By the way, the hormonal background of lovers is comparable to that of mentally ill people. It is impossible to be in such a tense state for a long time. Sooner or later, it will lead to exhaustion. As a rule, dopamine love lasts three years - this is enough time to get married, give birth and raise children up to a certain age.

True love, from a hormonal point of view, is characterized by an increased synthesis of oxytocin, serotonin and endorphin. It manifests itself in the form of a feeling of closeness, warmth, the feeling of "I am at home." Love is not necessarily preceded by a feeling of being in love. And if you are bored with vivid emotions, turn to other vivid events: dancing, chatting with friends, skydiving, in the end.

Completely end your past relationship

This is the first thing to do if you are dreaming of a new romance. And in one day! What is needed for this? Return to those same sensations and remember: what did you not finish, what bothers you so much. Take a day off, retire, start writing a letter to that very man. Write whatever you want to say: insults, insults, pain, hatred, love, desires. It's important not just to write down your emotions on paper, but to experience them. Shout, hit the pillow, if you feel angry, cry, if your heart is squeezing, there are unspoken words - say them out loud. It is important to plunge into your feelings, go through them to the end, without a trace - and let go forever!