Why does a man not want to get married and what to do

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

The expression "I do not want to study, but I want to get married" for modern men has a very definite meaning. Representatives of the stronger sex are more likely to study in 2-3 educational institutions, enjoying living together with their beloved woman without any special obligations, than agree to enter into an official marriage. The modern man does not want to marry even the woman of his dreams.

The illusion of personal space

If 25-30 years ago every second couple entered into an official marriage, then according to Rosstat, in 2019 the number of calls to the registry office decreased by 13% compared to 2017-2018. The number of civil marriages is increasing. As a result, women are trying to figure out what to do if men do not want to marry common-law wives.

Statistics: 7 out of 10 couples live together without formalizing the relationship. The number of children born out of wedlock is growing. Civil marriages are becoming popular. However, behind the apparent well-being of such families, there is an inexorable statistic: half of the couples end their relationship after 3-4 years of marriage.

The modern world is arranged in such a way that all the main issues are decided by men. Despite the complete emancipation, women largely depend on the opinions and actions of the stronger half. In most cases, the choice is up to men.

First of all, this applies to personal relationships. Men offer conditions on which they are ready to build relationships, and women are left to agree or look for other options.

Every girl dreams of a white wedding dress and a happy family life. A woman wants to be an official, real wife. But he often agrees to be a civil companion to life. This status does not negate the duties of a woman as a wife, mistress, guardian of the family hearth.

For a civil husband, this situation is quite suitable. He does not need to worry about his daily bread. Cutlets and borscht are always on the stove. Shirts and socks are on their own shelf in the wardrobe.

Interesting! Why doesn't a guy offer to date even though he likes you?

However, with all this, he does not bear any responsibility, he is in a permanent and convenient status of "free". The main requirement is not to violate each other's personal space.

But if for a man personal space means complete freedom of action, for a woman it is just an illusion. In civil unions, a man has the same power over a woman as in an official marriage: to communicate only with his friends, girlfriends on weekdays for 15 minutes in his presence, he has money.

Women who do not earn enough on their own or do not earn enough to ensure a decent life for themselves are especially vulnerable. Civil marriages often have a separate budget. However, a woman spends money on household needs. A man reserves the right to spend his money on himself and his interests.

A woman accepts the conditions of the game in the hope that she can become the one who understands, does not interfere, and takes the best care of her beloved man. Often refuses to communicate with friends, making a choice in favor of the not entirely pleasant company of the spouse.

But in fact, she becomes a hostage to her feelings. The illusion of personal space soon becomes an overwhelming burden.

She fulfills all the conditions set by the man. But the man is not going to marry, he wants to live together, everything suits him. He considers conversations about marriage empty and meaningless.

Why put a stamp in your passport if everything is going well. A man who lives in absolute care and comfort does not bother himself with thoughts of formalities, which are of great importance to a woman.

Interesting! How to tell that a guy likes you if he doesn't show it

Why marriage doesn't appeal to men

Among women who ended their civil marriage, without waiting for a trip to the registry office, there is an opinion that men do not want to marry common-law wives because they want to preserve their freedom, do not want to bind themselves with responsibility for the family.

But not everything is so simple. There are objective reasons why men are in no hurry to go to the registry office with common-law wives:

1. Many refuse to marry common-law wives after a bad experience of formal marriage. Making an offer and putting a stamp in the passport for the second time is hampered by the elementary fear of divorce. In previous relationships, he had love, he was ready for a lot so that the family did not need anything. But the mistakes made by partners in the relationship led to the breakup. Now a man will not take a rash step, which may be the reason why he does not want to marry a common-law wife.
2. A man needs to feel that he needs a woman like air. If from the first days of acquaintance, two spend days and nights together, and a week later they rent joint housing and try to live together, the union will not lead to an official marriage. A man loses interest in a woman. It is for him a book with several pages, after reading which, he does not get pleasure from the plot. I read it and forgot. The situation is different if there are restrictions in the relationship. A man wants with all his heart to possess his beloved, but enjoys only short meetings, interesting conversations. He will gradually begin to understand the chosen one, learn to see in her the only person with whom he would like to wake up, a woman whom he wants to call his wife and mother of his children. Take her to the registry office.
3. Man is by nature a predator, master, head of the family. Financial instability is the reason why a man does not want to get married and have children. Money plays a big role in the decision to make an official marriage proposal, to go to the registry office. A man must understand that he will be able to provide for his beloved woman, future children, and offer a decent life to close people. If there is no confidence in the future, you can count on a marriage proposal after solving financial problems.

Interesting! How a man behaves if he likes a woman

Psychologist's advice

1. You can rarely figure out on your own what a woman should do if a man does not want to marry. Need advice from a psychologist.
2. Assess yourself. Every woman should understand why she needs this relationship. Z
3. It is worth with a cold mind to assess the feelings of a partner, whether his desire to live together is sincere, aimed at a long-term relationship that will lead to a legal marriage.
4. Make a list of things that both partners do while living together. Perhaps a man behaves like a real husband, and the stamp in the passport is completely optional.
5. If a man positions himself as a gift of fate and does nothing for the well-being of both, most likely he will not tie the knot. It is better to end such a relationship at the very beginning.
6. You need to be able to talk heart to heart. Men are vulnerable and sensitive. It is important to take the moment and discuss the prospect of the relationship without setting conditions.
7. Perhaps a man is so good around a woman that he has long considered her his legitimate wife. It needs to be pushed a little towards the registry office.
8. If a man is ready to formalize a relationship, but something from the past stops him, you need to discuss the problem together and try to find a way out.

Outcomes

Psychologists say that men, despite the outward manifestations of love of freedom and independence, are much more in need of strong and stable relationships than women. Perhaps the partner does not know that he wants to marry a common-law wife. He just needs to tell about it.