Mom's mom

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Mom and grandmother, no, not mother-in-law, but mother's mother. Problems and bickering in such close people arise more often than we would like. We, as always, are unbiased and invite both sides to speak out on the most pressing and frequently encountered issues. Your grievances against each other are our tips on how to get around sharp corners.

Fifteenth chocolate bar

Daughter: I bring a child to her so that she can talk to him, and not feed him anything. Doesn't she understand that the baby has a rash after eating chocolate instead of a snack?

Mother: It is unlikely that the child will suffer from the fact that I give him an extra kiwi. On the contrary, he will receive a daily dose of vitamin C. I suppose she herself is not worried, plugging his mouth with a lollipop to talk to a friend!

The child's diet should be monitored by the one who spends most of the time with him. And everyone else must obey him unswervingly. Forgive the pun, but the child can only be given what can be given.

And further. In no case do not hide that you gave something to the child. After all, not knowing that the baby has already been given a tangerine today, they will buy him an orange, and this can already lead to terrible manifestations of allergies.

These tips can be addressed to both mom and grandmother, it all depends on who communicates with the baby more often.

Unclaimed wisdom

Daughter: It's just unbearable, she climbs everywhere with her advice. I am already an adult and have the right to make decisions on my own. If I need to, I myself will ask for advice.

Mother: Is it really how we raised our children - they do everything in a non-human way, and then they themselves are convinced of this. And if they immediately listened to our advice, then there would be no problems.

The older generation, thanks to life experience, has great knowledge of how to avoid unpleasant situations. Sometimes parents can give very good advice. But, dear grandmothers, confess, would you gain this experience if you were guided to old age and taken out of any difficult situation? As you know, people learn from their mistakes.

Yes, indeed, sometimes you just want to exclaim: I told you so! Restrain yourself or say it in a conversation with a friend. Leave your daughter to act on her own, and then she will not reproach you for having ruined everything by obeying you.

We advise daughters to agree that the advice you dispute is often absolutely correct and that you would save a lot of energy by listening in time. And also always remember that you, too, may become the mother of an adult daughter.

Granny? A pest? Nanny?

Daughter: I trust her to take care of the baby from day to day, and returning from work, I find a spoiled child, confident that everything is allowed to him.

Mother: So what? Grandmothers should pamper their grandchildren, and let her say thank you for the fact that in my face she received a replacement for a nanny, a kindergarten and a governess with knowledge of a foreign language.

But it's true, the daughter in such a situation should first say thank you and only then try to agree without a scandal on how to correct the child's behavior.

It is unlikely that the grandmother will be against it if, instead of complaints and reprimands, you ask her to forbid the baby to break the dishes and play the computer all day, explaining how bad the former affects your budget, and the latter, on the eyesight and health of the baby.

Arbitrator in disputes with her husband

Daughter: She protects my husband all the time, advises not to ruin the marriage. Even if I want to hear something bad about my spouse, she instead advises me to control myself. But the mothers of my friends in such cases convince them to disperse and offer all-round help.

Mother: Her husband is unbearable, she is very unlucky. If she knew what I should restrain myself and not say it to her face.

These people can only be envied. Admire the mom who is holding back and advise her to keep up the good work. There is nothing worse than getting into the conflicts of another family, even if it is your daughter's family. Mom only needs to take into account that advice like “If only you were a husband, you’ll remain a single mother” is also not the best option.

In this situation, we offer the daughter to honestly answer to herself, whose approach - the mothers of her friends or her own mother - she likes more. It seems to us that the choice will be in favor of the mother. You will always have time to quarrel with your husband, but the fact that your mother does not add fire to your quarrels is her great merit. And certainly never involve your husband in your showdown with your mom. Do not show your negative emotions, remain neutral, even if the husband or mother is trying to "discuss the problem together."

Housing problem

Daughter: Could I really have changed so much to my mother in just two years. I only dream of how to part ways. Or maybe my husband is to blame, because before he began to live with us, and my mother and I had no problems?

Mother: They are going to rent an apartment. Why throw away that kind of money? To separate me from my grandson, or what? In my face they have both a nanny and a housekeeper.

Dear grandmothers, as soon as you have the opportunity to leave, take advantage of this immediately. In one fell swoop, you will save your daughter's family, get the opportunity to lead a personal life, restore the former excellent relationship with your daughter.

It happens that the daughters do not want to leave - it is convenient for them that there is always someone to leave the child with, to whom to cook dinner for the husband, and on whom to blame the child's bad manners and the husband's dissatisfaction with the quality of the soup. Sometimes these reasons are added to the unwillingness to part with a large renovated apartment. I want to say only one thing to such daughters: have a conscience! Your mother is not a housekeeper or a keeper of your hearth. She raised you and no longer has any obligation to you. When you move apart, mom will not stop helping you, she will do it with great enthusiasm.

And yet …

Daughter: Naturally, I love her more than anyone else in the world, because she is my mother.

Mother: Yes, I'm ready to do everything for her. And having heard only one kind word, in general I can move mountains.

I advise you to pronounce these words to each other more often!