Parents-occupiers

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

… Life is like that, baby: no one will give you anything. You have to take it yourself. Do not miss what you are, do not tear with your teeth, but confidently take what is supposed to.

- And if not supposed to?

- Then don't take it.

- Others take it.

- This is bad.

- What's good?

- It's good to be calm, strong, independent and confident. It's bad to be childish, to look back at everyone.

This is how we explain the strategy of behavior in terms of a set of simple cliches. But it is precisely in questions about the boundaries of the independence and independence of the child that we manifest ourselves least consistently, as real dictators and occupiers. In any borderline situation (first date,"

Fear, when you look at it, is a normal feeling. It should be scary for a child - regardless of the criminal situation in the area or experience in the wrestling section. Our center of the universe is where our child is - at school, in the yard, on the street - from there are radial rays along all the periphery. And if the cloudiness is above normal, and the sounds of communication are indistinct, reality shifts, signals of seismic danger go to the heart.

But then the child appears - safe and sound - and restores the status quo. We don't need any more. Having shouted, crying, we are not freed from fear. He stays with us. In the guise of a dark basement, an abandoned construction site. And even in the form of the first love, so long-awaited and hostile.

We suffer from a nondiscrimination of fears. Our selfish reflex often wears a mask of concern and concern. "I'm afraid for you!" - "No, mom and dad, you are afraid for yourself. New problems scare you, although most likely they will not. You are afraid just in case."

Infantiles are not born. The child is actively open to the world. Any. Until he is slowed down in front of a puddle, which is so seductively unknown … Infantile consciousness begins to form at the moment when mother does not allow her baby to play with the boy who hit him on the head yesterday with a typewriter. We will ignore this boy, we do not need this work: building relationships, looking for a common language. We'd better pretend the boy wasn't there. In a few years, our boy will try to ignore life. He will pretend that it does not exist. He will put strong locks on the door that separates him from the world, and will begin to strengthen the walls. Having narrowed the living space to a biological minimum, he will live with the illusion of security.

… The unforgettable type of mother-hen, mother-darling, warming children's socks on the radiator in the morning, so that the legs from warmth to warmth, disappeared, it seems, irreparably. Only grandmothers, and even then not all, are capable of continuous domestic feats. Millions of women, exhausted by work for symbolic money, dream aloud about the warm fate of a housewife. In fact: offer a working mother mountains of gold for life within the framework of three German "K" (kyche, kinder, kircha) - only a few will agree.

It is not without reason that psychologists have noticed that the most emancipated mothers have infantile children. And there is no contradiction in this. To maintain the level of social, professional and material independence, a modern woman has to start an automatic system of her own safety. I'll choose friends for him - it's safer that way. I will excommunicate him from this company - it will be easier that way. I will indicate the university to which he will be admitted. I "know how to do it." My child should not threaten my hard-won world. I don't need drafts.

But children do not ask us for unlimited freedom. They themselves are afraid of her. Children do not want complete independence from us. This is also very responsible. Children just want to be children as long as nature gives them this opportunity. And we, ranting about respect for the personality of a child, hardly learn to respect his dreams, failures and defeats. We wish them independence, daily throwing them into the abyss of infantilism.

Marina KARINA