Live in Finland

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

(continued, beginning)

Ten cups of coffee a day is far from the limit

With coffee, my husband surprised me too. When he first came to visit me in Moscow and I made him coffee in the morning, he drank three cups at once. Then we talked a little, and he asked me to make more coffee, and again he drank two or three cups. In the afternoon, when we were walking around the city, he again said that it would be nice to have some coffee. Well, I thought, - he will live at most a year or two, no more. That I would live in Finland was out of the question, but by that moment I was already in love with him without memory, and it was painful for me to watch how my loved one slowly commits suicide. But the unexpected happened: several years have passed, and I drink three cups of coffee at breakfast, then a couple more cups at noon, and another cup at four. Very tasty! Nothing, as long as they are alive. But I ran more than four thousand kilometers in these three years and became incomparably happier from this, because for the first time in forty years of my life I am satisfied with my figure, despite the fact that it is not so perfect. The secret turned out to be simple: now I know for sure that I am doing my best, and my figure simply cannot be better. I can afford to eat as much as I like, without limiting myself to either ice cream or cakes. I must say that I hadn’t eaten much before, but I still couldn’t lose weight. So I advise everyone: run - and correct your figure, and talk to your husband!

Finnish language

Oh no, this is not a language, it is, as the Swedes mocking the Finns say, a sore throat. Well, Swedes and Finns make fun of each other on every imaginable and inconceivable reason, but I personally like the Finnish language. An incredibly peculiar and original language! For example, in what other language are the international words COMPUTER (TIETOKONE), TELEPHONE (PUKHELIN), AIRPORT (LENTOKENTA) and, say, FOOTBALL (YALKAPALLO) disguised so unrecognizable? Even from the words MAMA and DAD, which are somehow consonant in almost all common languages, they came up with nothing like EITI and ISIA. They coded Russia with the word VENAYA, and Sweden with RUOTSI. The word OPERA is quite recognizable, but it contains three double letters: OOPPERAA. Well, not original, huh? But it's one thing to talk about a language, and another thing to speak it.

Within the family, we speak three languages at once. My husband never wants to communicate with me in Finnish - I still slow down, which his stormy temperament categorically cannot stand. Many times my husband and I made the decision to finally start speaking Finnish, but his patience was enough for exactly five minutes. The husband and daughter talk to each other in Finnish. Of course, my little daughter has no language problems. From the first day she went to a Finnish kindergarten, where at first they spoke to her in English or in all understandable language of facial expressions and gestures, but after a couple of months she slowly began to speak Finnish. I, probably, should also start from kindergarten, otherwise things will never get off the ground. Of course, in three years I went through the basics of Finnish grammar in university courses, and in principle I can explain myself somehow. But the problem is that I have no real need to speak Finnish. It is difficult to find a Finn, especially in Helsinki, who cannot speak English. Those friends of mine who work here in Finland practice at work, but I have nowhere to practice. My volitional decision in this matter is not enough - I also need a vital necessity. As it turned out, I only need Finnish in theory.

How to and how not to dress in Finland

So I moved to live in Finland. My friends accompanied me three years ago with parting words: "You are there, Nadya, show them all! Hold the brand of the Russian Woman on high!" This meant that we, in comparison with Scandinavians, try much more to dress beautifully and look good, we never go anywhere without makeup, we wear shoes with heels, we prefer short skirts to show beautiful legs, we smell with perfume in broad daylight, and so Further. My friends and I had a strong belief that we are better than "them". Unfortunately, we are not very well aware of how they see "us". During these three years, I had multiple chances to hear how we really look in our short skirts and with painted eyes in the eyes of Western men. A Russian woman can be unmistakably identified in any country in the world. We attract so much attention to ourselves by how exaggeratedly "beautiful" we look that they, Western men (not to mention women) think that we are trying our best to sell ourselves at a higher price. This is not my opinion at all, I just heard it so many times that "for the state" and for us, wonderful Russian girls, it is very insulting. Please do not be offended by me, my dear Russian women - we are the best anyway, I have no doubts about that.

I still disobeyed my girlfriends. Pretty soon after moving to Finland, I practically stopped using makeup, I don’t wear high heels, well, perhaps to the theater, and I almost don’t wear short skirts. 360 days a year I wear jeans or shorts in the morning, depending on the season, and I feel very comfortable. Firstly, I'm tired of the fact that every time I, having tinted my lips and eyes, ask my husband how I look, he gives me his usual joke - like a Russian prostitute. You know, as they say in Russia, every joke has its share of a joke. Everything bright and catchy is associated here with Russian prostitutes. And secondly, I began to really like the modest, but still stylish Finns, especially after our frequent trips to the United States, where women also dress very modestly, but completely tasteless. It's a common thing to see an American woman in size 60 in a crêpe de Chine dress with ruffles and frills, sneakers and terry socks. In Finland, women dress with taste and quality.

I remember that at the very beginning of our romance with my husband, we were going to swim on the surf, and before that, of course, I had to comb my hair and tint my eyes. My future husband, looking at my female maneuvers, then tenderly said to me: "Darling, I have already seen what a beauty you are - maybe we should already simplify the procedure?" In our inescapable desire to look beautiful, we often go too far, preening ourselves in completely inappropriate situations. As I have seen, most Western men look at such preoccupied women with a grin. There is even an international term - "chiken" (literally "chick"), meaning a woman who is so carried away by her own appearance that for everything else she hardly has a place in life. Of course, there are other men who do not share the opinion of my husband and most of his friends, but for some reason the men I liked always belonged to the same category as my husband.

Money, money, money, is not funny …

Remember the ABBA song? Yes, I had to hear a lot of complaints about stingy and greedy Finnish husbands from Russian women living here. Although Tolstoy said that all unhappy families are unhappy in their own way, financial claims against each other are probably the most common problem in international marriages. The reason for this is understandable: it is much more difficult for a woman to become financially independent in a foreign country, and, in addition, the culture of attitudes towards money is very different in different countries. What is considered reasonable economy and conservation of natural resources in Russians is associated with stinginess and causes complete misunderstanding. Therefore, although I was in love with my future husband, I still decided to consult with someone in the know before taking the plunge. Fortunately, a friend of mine has been married to a Finn for several years. True, they lived in Moscow and visited Finland only to visit their husband's parents.

After listening to my enthusiastic story about the Finn's fiancé, my future friend reasonably puzzled me as follows. “Well, okay,” she said, “When you move to Helsinki, your husband starts giving you money. So when you run out of money, you’ll ask him every time - dear, can’t you have a little more money? What if your husband tells you that he has just given you a sufficient amount and demands a report? Considering that I always earned enough not to ask anyone for anything, it was very strange for me to imagine such an addiction. It was encouraging that my fiance and I had a completely different situation. Every time he came to visit me, he always persistently offered me money, but I stubbornly insisted that he was my guest and I would never take his money. He still left the money, and I put it in a special wallet, and when he came again, I returned the wallet to him. This was repeated every time. Of course, when we went to a restaurant, theater or took a taxi, he paid. But at the same time, I fed him at home, drove him in my car and, by the way, came to Finland to visit him at my own expense.

Despite such a disinterested relationship, I will not lie that my husband once and for all entrusted all his money to me, as is typical for us Russians. He is not Russian, and trust in the West does not arise overnight. Out of the simplicity of my soul, I thought that he believed me right away, because I was so unique and crystal disinterested. But that was not the case at all. I had to cry more than once. Not because they didn't give me money, but because I was checked, controlled and sometimes even suspected. How could ME, so honest, be suspected of something ?! I was mortally hurt. But, as my husband reiterates, trust can only be earned over time. I had to wait patiently, swallowing resentment and tears.

Fortunately, despite the huge cultural difference, we are in perfect agreement about money. While I was living in Russia, I never experienced a special need. But I have never had such a thing to go and buy everything that I want. My opportunities have always been enough for a normal daily life and for the most intimate for me - travel and an interesting vacation. In all other respects, I had to limit myself. But I traveled all my life - first in our country, and then, as soon as the borders were opened, I began to travel to the snowy Alps and other wonderful places. My husband spends his money in exactly the same way: a normal decent level of daily life and maximum travel. So we don't have to argue about financial issues: we are always united in our desire to spend almost all our free money on travel, saving on something less important to ourselves.

I can also share one secret knowledge to live in Finland, which helps me a lot not to feel like a stranger here. If something in the behavior of the Finns is alien to me, I try not to be indignant or condemn, but to try to understand what lies behind it, although most of my friends immediately strive to blame the “dissenting” Finns for all mortal sins. This is an empty occupation, in my opinion!

Continuation…