How to raise a real man

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

For a long time, women have been complaining about the shredding of the male genus, and I must say, it is not groundless. Many see an obvious connection between the upbringing of a man and the consequence in the form of infantilism, indecision and irresponsibility. And they ask themselves the question: how to raise a real man out of his son - a decisive, responsible, adult? Let's consider the typical mistakes in the upbringing of boys, which, as a rule, lead to the "crushing" of men.

Hyper-care. Mom's motto is “How scary to live!”, And therefore she leads the child by the hand to school almost until the tenth grade. The idea of leaving the child alone at home is terrifying to the mother. Actually, independent movement around the city is already allowed for a teenager, as well as the situation "alone at home". Meanwhile, it is already quite late, by adolescence, the boy gets used to the fact that there is always some woman next to him (mother, nanny, grandmother, aunt, etc.), who will solve all his problems at any time. And then fix something is already problematic. The normal time to practice the home alone situation is 6-7 years. At 8-9, it is completely normal to teach a boy to navigate in the city, at least within the district and the road to school / sections / circles.

Most mothers refer to the increased crime rate and the unstable situation in the country. But the only significant difference is that in our time the media raised an unprecedented hysteria around crime, while until the 90s they simply kept silent about the same crime. Significantly more of it was gone. It's only a matter of fear, which is now being introduced into the minds of people. It is worth thinking about how to constructively treat the issue of raising a man, even if you firmly believe in the increased crime. Are you afraid of hooligans and thieves? Send your child to the martial arts section. It is unlikely that an adult man will expect serious resistance from the boy, and thus the boy will gain time in which to escape.

Are you afraid that the child will not do business without supervision? Let him go through explanations with teachers without your help at least once. Are you afraid that you will not cope with everyday life? Teach him to serve himself.

Constant consumer service. Of course, mom washes her son's clothes better and better, not to mention ironing, cooking and cleaning. And therefore he does not teach his son anything. And why - probably there will be a woman who will take on these responsibilities sooner or later. A man gets used to demanding clean socks, ironed shirts and delicious dinners as a matter of course, and sometimes even "thank you" to his wife does not say. To raise a real man, you need to deal with it from childhood.

Ask to light the oven, put the iron on to heat up, hang up the laundry - all these are little things that the child will happily do for sincere praise from the mother and will learn everything along the way.

You can also send small things (for a start) to the store, ask to participate in other household chores (go to pay utility bills, for example). Yes, there is a risk that the food will be spoiled, that the child will do something wrong. But it is better to carefully correct him and help him survive the mistake now, than later someone (including my mother) will contemplate a completely helpless forty-year-old man who, in the event of his wife's illness, loses any orientation in the world of everyday life.

"I know which is best!" Of course, a mother, an adult person, may turn out to be more far-sighted. But then who will teach the boy to take responsibility for his choice? Mom can allow the child to make a mistake and realize the consequences of the choice at the stage when the mistake is not yet fatal.

A few words about money. Even if your family is very wealthy, this does not mean that you should not teach the future man to work. Self-earned pocket money has a very different weight than that given by parents. It would be nice not just to help the child find a source of part-time work, but also to delicately teach him to talk with employers and instill the idea that no work is a shame, rather, the inability to work can be called a shame. But often the parents inspire the boy that he needs a high social status, and thereby overestimate the bar of his expectations. Then it turns into a familiar picture: the husband loses a prestigious job and is not ready to take on something simpler, and the wife is torn between home, work and children, while the husband with depression and a can of beer in his hand is going through his social decline on the couch.

Everything written above can be reduced to one thought: you should not keep the boy under a hood. Growing up is a painful process, and it is mothers who tend to postpone it for their sons. But learning from your mistakes will be much more painful when mom is no longer around.