Am I a woman or who?

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

You do not remember when you had your last vacation, and how long it lasted, because you were called to work due to work needs. Your child is the "last hero" in kindergarten, because he is taken away later than any time specified by the rules. Dad signs in the diary of the oldest child - the family does not want to make you nervous with red flashes of teacher's remarks.

One day you do not hear the alarm clock, the morning meeting takes place in your absence, and the boss has the nerve to make a comment about this. You fall down at the desk (although you really want to crawl under it and get some sleep) and say to yourself: "Enough! Am I a woman or who? Am I married or where? I quit my job, go to housewives! My vocation is to be a wife and a mother!"

Let us divide our army of housewives into three main categories:

1) women who have worked long enough to consciously make their choice in favor of home;

2) principled housewives who have received an education and a profession, but do not want to work;

3) periodically moonlighting housewives.

Naturally, there are a huge number of intermediate categories, but familiarization with the "household" forums shows that they are all derivatives of the above. Perhaps the main problem under discussion boils down to the question: SHAME or HONOR to be a housewife? Let's make a reservation right away that we mean Russia with its extremes in the form of parasitism and workaholism, for foreigners will not understand the very formulation of the question.

In order not to work, you need only one condition: the availability of money. We will not take into account the rich heiresses - this is another case. Most women become housewives if their husbands earn enough money.

A woman may wonder if a job is really necessary if her salary is completely "eaten up" by travel and dinners in canteens. Even if there is something left "for pins", it does not fall into the family budget. A woman can get an education, but not work in her specialty for some time. And, as you know, the further - the more difficult, and the status of a housewife is acquired by itself. Finally, there are men who, a priori, do not want their wives to work, believing that "mining a mammoth" is a man's business.

The advantages of a "housekeeping" lifestyle are obvious: the opportunity to relax, take care of yourself - both physically (shaping-salons-pools) and spiritually. Read all the books that I have been planning for a long time, watch all the films, learn the language. Children and husband will eat pickles, not semi-finished products, cleanliness and order will reign at home …

The list is endless. However, in your subconscious mind you will have a spinning thought: will you ever get tired of all this paradise?

Everything has a downside, and sooner or later you will face it. If you categorically did not have time to do household chores before, you are unlikely to learn how to plan your day now. This is a well-known paradox - there is never a lot of free time. And making a schedule like "kindergarten - market - cooking - washing - cleaning - kindergarten - dinner" in the morning is not very fun. Here you need to enter the coveted beauty trips, shopping, telephone conversations with girlfriends and the Internet. There is not much time left for films and books.

The desire to "dissolve" in the family is commendable, but a sense of proportion is needed in everything. Remember how you lived before. The whole family did the cleaning on Saturdays, with dinner the husband often helped out, who had to learn how to cook scrambled eggs and toast, the children did not throw the clothes anywhere, because they collected them in the morning … And now everyone thinks that since you are sitting at home, then home work for you. There is a danger that the husband who comes home from work will not understand the absence of a hot dinner on the table. Your explanations like "did a manicure" are unlikely to satisfy him.

You should not discount your environment as well, because in any case it is not limited to household members. Perhaps this is one of the main problems. You are afraid that working friends and girlfriends will look at you somewhat dismissively, because the fashion of today is a working woman. Businesswoman. Successful and successful. And your girlfriends (and you once did) are struggling to live up to that definition. At the same time, since the majority of people are not "tactful", you will repeatedly listen to remarks: "Stay at home? You're degrading!"

You need to be able to meet such statements with a smile. Everyone chooses for himself how to live, and your girlfriends have no right to judge you. It is more difficult if this choice is forced. My friend's husband found himself in the agricultural sector. It brings a stable income, he likes it, and everything would be fine, but the conditions require him to be constantly on the spot: in the village, in the fields, at mills, etc. His wife, who grew up in the city and has two children, does not want to study farming, and there is simply no other job for her in the village. So they often literally live separately: she is in a city apartment, he is in the village. And they do not see a way out of this situation yet. Needless to say, our heroine's city friends never miss an opportunity to make a snide remark.

However, in most cases, it is possible and necessary to benefit from this situation, to acquire new experience. Once my friend and I found ourselves in a situation where we were to be housewives for the next six months. We decided to open a small women's clothing store, believing that in six months we will be able to organize work, and then, in addition to our own professions, we will also have a small, but our own business. We rented and repaired the premises, went through the entire bureaucratic path of acquiring the status of store owners, purchased goods, cash desk and other necessary trifles. There was not enough money to pay the sellers, and we decided to start working on our own. For several months of work, we have learned how to masterfully solve crosswords, by eye to determine the size of seldom visiting customers, and even persuade them to buy something from our product! The expected business growth did not work out, but, fortunately, we did not go broke, and having closed our failed brainchild, we proudly stated that many end up worse - in debt and with remnants of goods. We realized all our mistakes, and now, I dare to hope, if life ever takes a sharp turn, we will make good use of the experience we have acquired.

There are many activities a woman can do at home. This is a hobby that can be turned into a second profession. Do you like needlework? Start sewing or knitting little by little for your friends - they will appreciate it. Do you like messing with animals? Become a groomer or take a dog handler course. Finally, study the computer thoroughly, because you have wanted this for a long time! There are many options, and the fulfillment of even one-time orders will give you the necessary feeling of satisfaction and self-realization.

The main problem lies not in public opinion and not in where to put your work book, but in intra-family relations. You shouldn't feel like a kept woman! A man can give you jewelry for every possible holiday, and, on occasion, remind you who makes money in the house. Unfortunately, there are a lot of such examples. If this happens, then you should not, of course, slam the door and file for divorce. But it is worth considering and analyzing the situation. Stop such conversations, even joking ones, even with friends, right away. The decision to leave work should be made consciously and with your husband! You won't like it if your husband suddenly announces that he wants to stay at home? Decide in a family council how much time you want to spend at home - six months, a year, two, and what should happen during this time. Maybe you want to have another child, or two, and think that the mother should be with the baby. Maybe you decided to improve your education. In any case, weigh the pros and cons. Spontaneous decisions are not a method here.

Do not be afraid that your child will be ashamed of a mom-housewife. He will only be grateful to fate for the fact that you were able to devote more time to him than working mothers to their children. In one of the forums on this topic, a wonderful idea sounded that the boss has a lot of subordinates, if you leave, another wonderful specialist will come. And your child has only one mother!

Many good and bad things can happen in life. If, God forbid, it happens that your husband for any reason ceases to provide for his family, you should be ready to immediately join the system and support him. If this is the case, then go ahead! You will make a wonderful MASTER OF YOUR HOUSE.